Rough Guide to Freedom
(for the recently self liberated)

So you've broken out of jail and you're feeling pretty pleased with yourself. So you should, seeing the bars of the black iron prison is no mean feat but now what? The insight you have gained is crucial but it's also potentially lethal to your own self. Remember that old axiom - A little knowledge is a dangerous thing? Welcome to it's big brother - A lot of knowledge is even more dangerous. Right now, just by knowing what you know you have become a thought criminal. They are looking for you and, if you're not careful, they will find you. Then they'll neutralise you. The good news is they don't know who you are yet. This guide contains 3 golden rules which may help you to keep it that way. Good luck and stay safe.

1) Keep your head down.

Evangelism looks good on paper but take it from me it's a surefire road to the gas chamber. One of the most famous evangelists in western history was a chap named Yeshua ben Joseph or, as he was more popularly known, Jesus Christ. Here's a guy who stood up and shouted it from the top of the mount and look where it got him - Nailed to a plank of wood and left to rot. The stuff he said was rewritten, franchised and repackaged by an early version of government inc. and used to fuel numerous wars, takeovers and oppression projects, all in Jesus name, on behalf of Katholickism PLC and various subsiduaries.

What you have to remember is that if the grazing sheep can see you then so can the bad guys. If you've found a loophole then you've shown them it and you can bet your sorry ass that they'll be busy sealing it up just as you're busy decomposing in an unmarked grave, all the while fertilising the grass that the sheep are fed.

The more obvious you become the more attention you will draw so burn the Che Guevara teeshirt and buy something with Hugo Boss written on it. Tear down the burning buddhist posters and get rid of the CND bumper stickers. Keep your books under the bed. If you really want to accomplish something then your best bet is to work undercover. Jumping on a soapbox and spreading the gospel is not how you get the message across, it's how you end up in jail. Do not subscribe to subversive magazines. Do not turn up at demos and rallys, all their operatives mugshots are on federal databases an, even worse, they achieve approximately nothing. Make no mistake, now that you've slipped your chain they're looking for you. Don't make it easy for them.

Remember the monk Nopants
          who went up the mountain
and discovered
             that he was an asshole
                                                    on a