Verwirrung

For those of you that haven’t heard, COLBERTGASM was an amazing success. I’ve also been a lazy ass about spreading word of the Discordian Society’s immense and total spagtacular victory. Recently, I became motivated to give the project wiki an overhaul - check it out:

ColbertGASM

I’ve included many video clips of Colbert’s Discordian references - if you know of any more, let me know!

Let ColbertGASM stand as a flag that you can do crazy cool stuff by organizing people over the web. The OMGASM is a great way to organize people and find help for zany projects. Are you missing an artist, web designer, editor, idea machine, whatever for your mission? Want to create a mission for other Discordians to go on? Use OMGASM to amass an army of net Discordians waiting to do your bidding. If it’s fun, they’ll actually do it. And with an army of spags, you can do a lot of unbelievable stuff. Proof is in the link above.

Don’t just read about fun — GO HAVE IT — RIGHT NOW!

HAIL YES

I’d like to introduce a blog written by my good friend, Johhny Brainwash. Better yet, I’ll let him introduce it:

We occur at random among your children.

Piracy, space and post-Soviet conflicts. Also treehugging, mayhem and high weirdness. Outbreaks of old-fashioned politics may occur.

Johnny Brainwash lives in New Alamut, Left Coast, Turtle Island. He likes to ride his bike and fight with toy swords.

Read more at Dysnomia.us.

Also, can someone add it to the BlogRoll?

MAP OF DISCORDIANS

If you feel comfortable with it, post your location. Useful to locate other Discordians in your area for group pranks, projects, and mindfucks.

Most people probably won’t use a real e-mail address though. So good luck finding each other.

bunch of spags

Sick of the Flying Spaghetti Monster being the only Neophillic Irreligion available for kids? Here’s a quick jake for the children.

hxxp://www.gogoddess.com/

Some background on the site, from the PARENTS section:

Why go goddess?
Rather than by age, tweens are best defined by their state of mind as they enter a transition period between childhood and adolescence. go goddess! is a brand focusing exclusively on the development of self-esteem for tween girls by encouraging self-discovery, self-expression, and self-awareness. The purpose of the go goddess! concept is to encourage tweens to discover their talents and interests, and to emphasize the importance of embracing their inner beauty and unique attitudes as they navigate the tough world of being a tween.

Why focus on tweens?
Experts suggest that it is during the tween years that girls begin to pay attention to their “inner voice.” They begin to compare themselves to their peers, which can result in self-doubt. “Tween-agers” also begin to question their individual idea of what is right and what is wrong, rather than solely relying on their parents’ opinions. The intent of the go goddess! concept is to provide girls with a healthy outlet to explore their unique and budding interests during this impressionable period.

consider the above when writing letters.

If you sign up, play nice on the site, there are kids there. But go ahead and try every trick in the book to get them to take us seriously.

(credit to Lysergic for finding this joint)

PS: I DON’T EVEN HAVE A DAUGHTER!

It’s a strange, chaotic world out there. It’s incomprehensibly huge and also so tiny it’s like your own personal cell. It’s miraculously beautiful and suicidally ugly. It’s both claustrophobically overcrowded and desolately lonely.

There are a lot of people - in this case I’ll use that nebulous “us” - who use weirdness, humor, and insanity as a means of coping. Perhaps lunacy allows some to achieve a sort of homeostasis, an equilibrium with the ubiquitious dynamics and pressures of modern living.

Over at the PD Forums we had a debacle yesterday. One of our newer members, Daruko, had a sort of “internet breakdown” when confronted by some opposition. It was both funny and hard to watch. The guy in question is a 25-year old father of two, who is “in dire need of some sillyness in his life.”

Somebody asked Tim Leary what to do after they had Turned On. He said, “Find the others.” And then they show up at our door.

Read more »

Discordians in the Middle Ages

Discordians flourished between the fifth and fifteenth century. This was a period of great cultural, political, and economic change in Europe - change which Discordians violently shook like a collicy infant.

Discordian Writings

It it not known whether medieval Discordians were literate. They commonly wrote in the incomprehensible Zwack alphabet. Discordians held that most people, even nobles and priests, were too hunchbrained to make any sense of their baffling script. Contemporary cryptologists believe Zwack to be incomprehensible gibberish, but modern Discordians hold that these scholars are merely too hunchbrained to make sense of their baffling script.

The Inquisition

In 1478, the Spanish Inquisition was begun by King Ferdinand of Aragon and Queen Isabella of Castile. Although it was not publicly revealed until after his death, one of Ferdinand’s advisors, Peter Pie the Pious, was a Discordian saint. St. Pie pushed King Ferdinand to seek out converts from Judaism and Islam residing Spain. The inquisition was originally intended as a distraction from St. Pie’s major project, sleeping with Queen Isabella. The inquisition rapidly got out of hand as zealots began burning heretics.

Despite his success with Isabella, St. Pie was saddened by these violent developments. He made a private apology to the Discordians of Spain, but it was lost on them as they were busy being burned to death. Wracked with guilt, he fell on his sword in 1490. His final words were “Fili Prius meretrix,” or “Bros before hos”.

Discordians in Colonial America: The Witch Trials

In 1692, Discordians invented the first game of SINK when the Queche Quidditch Qabal threw Goodwife Tabatha Croft in the Connecticut river. When the local constable demanded an explanation, Rev. Sandwitch of Bologna replied that they were testing to see if she was a witch. The constable thought this was such a good idea, he brought his wife to the river and tested her for witchiness. This meme spread and evolved until all the women in town were soaking wet. Later, they were burned at the stake.