“This doesn’t mean I’m upset, it means that I just don’t care to unless I have good reason….. The reaction I get is usually an odd look and a, “But I think too, and I smile, so smile, damnit!” My retort is typically, “Well, maybe you aren’t thinking hard enough?” And leave it at that. I also like leaving my thoughts to myself.”

It seems to me as time’s progressed, the less funny shit there is to eat up in everyday life. But I wouldn’t know it from the smorgasbord of giggles others gobble up on a daily basis. If I could surround myself with like minded people that could potentially foster more genuine feelings of levity. Of course it always runs the risk of waxing cold as well. That and there’s slim pickings. I wouldn’t say I’m a tough crowd, I’d say I’m an eager audience. But dammit all to hell, give me irony, parody, something zen, I don’t care. Just hit the right note and at least try to dispense with the obvious, redundant persona desperate to see itself copied in you.

I don’t know how best to describe that brief feeling when being prompted by some lack of reciprocity another’s so obviously wanting me to fill. And these can be people I love and care about genuinely. I don’t want to say, “That shit wasn’t funny. You’re wasting my time. You’ve crossed a line.” Partly because that is the plain truth of it but also because I wouldn’t want to deal with that when I spew out some sub par moment of my own. So it seems some of us are dealing with this mutual awkwardness, while surrendering the ship to less than fulfilling ice breakers which continually lead nowhere fast.

I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t see it all the time. The teacher says something not even remotely funny, insightful, sometimes just an outright lie and a collective laugh/silent acceptance hides the truth - that in the .5 seconds following, everyone in the class is wondering what the hell they just laughed for, or why they had surrendered dignity in quietly accepting what they knew to be wrong.

Why perpetuate the lie? Maybe for some of the reasons I stated. Maybe for some you did. One thing I’m fairly certain of - It’s not necessary and someone has to help break these social habits. They’re making phonies out of all of us. It’s not worth it, but we’ll likely continue on this way until the next evolutionary rung.

Could it be that they are reaching out because even in this cold sea of anonymous faces and lies - it is still easier to relate to than the colder “real world”? As humanity becomes more and more paranoid due to the improperly-balanced pyramid that sits above all our heads, we have become distrustful and even spiteful towards anyone who does not fit into our particular dataset. Even in casual interactions where no real emotion or work is necessary to connect, we more than often refuse the humanity of the other individual and choose to grind forward - eyes to the floor.

Now, ranting about the lame things going on in your life is, of course, pretty useless on the whole. But - the network (not unlike our brains) of datapoints connected by a fine, filigree nervous system of 1s and 0s pushes our evolution forwards. The connection you make by creating your point on the map is what makes all the other points relate to each other, and you relate to them.

Do you not find a sense of (in a highly bastardized sense) “community” in the PD forums? Is there no warmth in your heart for fellow Discordians, SubGenii, and other various netizens?

Or maybe I’m just full of shit.