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<hr />
<div><pre><nowiki><br />
<HTML><br />
<HEAD><br />
<LINK rel="stylesheet" href="hys.css" type="text/css"><br />
<TITLE>Moronic HYS Babble Generator</TITLE><br />
<META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=windows-1252"><br />
</HEAD><br />
<br />
<SCRIPT language="Javascript"><br />
<br />
var opening1 = new Array(<br />
"This is just typical",<br />
"Oh here we go again",<br />
"this post will probably be deleted. ",<br />
"I think we all know whats going on here. ",<br />
"I read about this in the Daily Mail",<br />
"Typical Neocon arrogance",<br />
"Oh god not this again.",<br />
"Mark my words.",<br />
"I can't believe where this country is headed.",<br />
"Gordon brown still it at i see",<br />
"No!!..",<br />
"Stupid question",<br />
"Is this what Fox's budget gets spent on??",<br />
"Unbelievable, media left-leaning bias again.",<br />
"This just shows us Fox's real agenda.",<br />
"Whites being descriminated against again.",<br />
"Oh look",<br />
"I am very angry about this.",<br />
"publish this if you dare",<br />
"Lies damn lies and stistics!",<br />
"FYI",<br />
"First things first",<br />
"This tired old question again",<br />
"Typical FOX..",<br />
"I don't believe the responses on here..",<br />
"Aw",<br />
"It makes me sick",<br />
"Sad but true",<br />
"Its simple",<br />
"Another example of conservitard pack mentality!",<br />
"Question",<br />
"Let's see now",<br />
"Hear me out",<br />
"Typical",<br />
"It's sad but true",<br />
"global warming, climate change, no such thing, its just another TAX on the way.",<br />
"I hate to say it"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var opening2 = new Array(<br />
"I heard this week that",<br />
"I read that",<br />
"studies show that",<br />
"did you know that",<br />
"I couldn't care less but ",<br />
"its the ethnic minorities, gays and lesbians complaining again.",<br />
"when will people realise that",<br />
"IMO",<br />
"in my opinion",<br />
"does anyone realise that",<br />
"Open your eyes people!",<br />
"I'm not being racist but",<br />
"here come the pc brigade and the nanny state! ",<br />
"it's obvious that",<br />
"everyone knows",<br />
"the media won't admit that",<br />
"all right-thinking people know that",<br />
"it's not politically correct to say so but",<br />
"can't you see that",<br />
"the new york times pretends it's not true but",<br />
"I have been realising over the past few years that",<br />
"I read in the Times that"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var hated_object = new Array(<br />
"im sick of the bleeding heart lefty whiners who are",<br />
"This country is overflowing with illegal immigrants, even the local precinct is run by poles. They are",<br />
"pedophiles are",<br />
"paedos are",<br />
"Bush is",<br />
"Obama is",<br />
"Clinton is",<br />
"McCain is",<br />
"immigrants are",<br />
"neocons are",<br />
"black people are",<br />
"liberals are",<br />
"tree hugging hippies are",<br />
"tourists are",<br />
"Ron Paul is",<br />
"Hillary Clinton is",<br />
"the American sheeple are",<br />
"modern america is",<br />
"the PC Nazis are",<br />
"the nanny state is",<br />
"the establishment is",<br />
"enviro-marxist do-gooders are",<br />
"do gooders are",<br />
"dirty rotten spags are",<br />
"the catholic church is",<br />
"Iran is",<br />
"Iraq is",<br />
"the UN is",<br />
"scientists are",<br />
"zionists are",<br />
"communist facists are",<br />
"the USA is",<br />
"New York Intellectuals are",<br />
"Venture Capitalists are",<br />
"pathetic liberal tree huggers are",<br />
"liberals are",<br />
"the human rights brigade are",<br />
"the dittoheads are",<br />
"the permissive society is",<br />
"eco nazis are",<br />
"mexicans are",<br />
"the Lib Dems are",<br />
"liberal hand-wringers are",<br />
"The USA will soon be",<br />
"EnviroMENTALists are",<br />
"the Loony Left is",<br />
"kids these days are",<br />
"non-christians are",<br />
"Muslims are",<br />
"pc liberalists are",<br />
"Arabs are",<br />
"the Mexicans are",<br />
"the tax-man is",<br />
"criminals are",<br />
"namby pamby environmentalists are",<br />
"the disrespectful youth of today is",<br />
"prison inmates are",<br />
"drug scum are",<br />
"sandal-wearing liberals are",<br />
"the bastions of political correctness are",<br />
"Dick Cheney is",<br />
"those morons in the government are",<br />
"every single prisoner in the United States is",<br />
"so-called celebrities are",<br />
"the French are",<br />
"all parties except the GOP are",<br />
"Homosexuals are",<br />
"las vegas gangs are",<br />
"women are",<br />
"single mothers are",<br />
"kids today are",<br />
"the Mid East is",<br />
"The Gaza Strip is",<br />
"Times readers are",<br />
"Daily Mail readers are",<br />
"non-taxpayers are",<br />
"pathetic liberal institutions are",<br />
"criminal gangs are",<br />
"terrorists are",<br />
"we are being brainwashed into",<br />
"congressional scum are",<br />
"islamofacists are",<br />
"soft-touch America is",<br />
"welfare mothers are"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var terrible_thing = new Array(<br />
"bending over backwards for the ethnic minorities in a white country",<br />
"taking over the government",<br />
"miseducating our kids",<br />
"moaning about \"human rights\" again",<br />
"killing our kids",<br />
"going to put us all in Death Camps",<br />
"putting flouride in our drinking water",<br />
"lecturing us about our \"rights\"",<br />
"destroying our once great country",<br />
"getting tax-payers money",<br />
"dumbing us down",<br />
"being run by communists",<br />
"promoting drug culture",<br />
"trying to 'save the world' again",<br />
"sponging off the taxpayer",<br />
"allowing us to be swamped",<br />
"telling us what to do",<br />
"sexualizing our children",<br />
"selling us short",<br />
"raising gas prices",<br />
"denying our freedoms",<br />
"introducing more stealth taxes",<br />
"opening our borders",<br />
"overrunning the real americans",<br />
"ruining A",<br />
"helping their scottish comrades",<br />
"playing the race card",<br />
"peddling their lies",<br />
"getting rich off the hard working population",<br />
"selling America to the Chinese",<br />
"meddling in our lives",<br />
"trying to tax us again",<br />
"hugging hoodies",<br />
"always complaining",<br />
"getting away with murder",<br />
"running scared",<br />
"too pussy",<br />
"terrorising our streets",<br />
"trying to control our lives",<br />
"encouraging terrorists",<br />
"helping al-qaeda",<br />
"preaching hate",<br />
"building mosks on every corner",<br />
"banning religion",<br />
"making it illegal to be patriotic",<br />
"recruiting criminals into the police force",<br />
"creating muslim no-go areas",<br />
"islamifying america",<br />
"using kid-gloves",<br />
"interfering in our lives again",<br />
"betraying our freedoms",<br />
"giving preference to asylum seekers",<br />
"using history to criticise the pope",<br />
"inviting in paedophiles and AIDs",<br />
"pandering to ethnics and gays",<br />
"getting away with murder",<br />
"getting away scott free",<br />
"giving way to multiculturalism",<br />
"preaching hate",<br />
"promoting bad values",<br />
"promoting liberal elitism",<br />
"welcoming criminals with open arms",<br />
"promoting teenage pregnancy",<br />
"making our streets unsafe",<br />
"turning america into americastan",<br />
"turning prison into a holidaycamp",<br />
"pandering to minorities",<br />
"selling us down the river",<br />
"just helping their cronies",<br />
"lining their pockets",<br />
"ignoring the silent majority",<br />
"giving priority to immigrants",<br />
"too 'softly softly'",<br />
"taxing us",<br />
"giving away are rights to health tourists",<br />
"making England a Muslim State",<br />
"getting freebies",<br />
"stealing my cartax",<br />
"islamifying the countryside",<br />
"using my wheelie bin",<br />
"giving money to their cronies",<br />
"trying to kill us all",<br />
"selling us out",<br />
"trying to bring in legislation to allow gays to get married",<br />
"destroying our heritage",<br />
"turning our kids gay",<br />
"taking our country away from us"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var because = new Array (<br />
"they hate the American people",<br />
"it's politically correct",<br />
"the country is full.",<br />
"they are foreign and it's what they do",<br />
"they have been incompetent since day 1",<br />
"of terrorists",<br />
"they are barely human",<br />
"of neocon incompetence",<br />
"of their so-called 'human rights'",<br />
"they've allowed terrorism to go unchecked.",<br />
"they want to turn america into an islamic state.",<br />
"they want to destroy us from within!",<br />
"our culture has been emasculated",<br />
"our country is full already",<br />
"they are pandering to foreign interests",<br />
"they are trying to destroy us",<br />
"the EU now controls this country",<br />
"they are building an EU superstate",<br />
"they have given away our sovriegnty",<br />
"they are trying to cover up their mistakes",<br />
"this country is no longer ours",<br />
"america is no longer great",<br />
"they government is lying to us",<br />
"they are socialists",<br />
"they are anti-american",<br />
"they are communists in disguise",<br />
"they hate our freedoms",<br />
"Gordon is too busy lining his pockets",<br />
"of Gordon Brown",<br />
"they're ruining america",<br />
"I am now ashamed of america",<br />
"the newspeak mafia is running the country",<br />
"muslims are running the show",<br />
"america is now under sharia law",<br />
"they want to breed a hybrid fetus",<br />
"they want to destroy the world",<br />
"they are clinically insane",<br />
"nobody has the guts to stand up to them",<br />
"people are too scared to stop them",<br />
"they are sick",<br />
"they are traitors"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var imperative = new Array(<br />
"We must",<br />
"Every American working man must",<br />
"It is vital that we",<br />
"Read my lips: ",<br />
"Come on",<br />
"True patriots must",<br />
"All Christians should",<br />
"Time to act: ",<br />
"The silent majority must ",<br />
"End this madness now, ",<br />
"Soon we will",<br />
"Somebody should",<br />
"The only solution is to",<br />
"Isn't it obvious?",<br />
"A wise man once said",<br />
"Mark my words",<br />
"It's time we",<br />
"when will Bush",<br />
"when will this government",<br />
"Wake up people!",<br />
"Simple answer: ",<br />
"All true americans should",<br />
"[number] words:"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var moronic_solution = new Array(<br />
"chop their hand's off, see how they like it",<br />
"bring back flogging and the death penalty i say",<br />
"clip their greencard, thatll teach em",<br />
"Send them all back were they came from",<br />
"get out of the USA and let us have our country back!!",<br />
"build more prisons, lock em up and throw away the key",<br />
"bring back the death penalty",<br />
"send them packing",<br />
"bring back McCarthy",<br />
"bring back the War on Drugs<br />
"send them to Iraq",<br />
"bring back Hitler",<br />
"bring back JFK",<br />
"bring back Bubba Clinton",<br />
"bring back gas tax",<br />
"string them all up",<br />
"abolish tax",<br />
"burn them alive",<br />
"get rid of them",<br />
"put them in solitary for the next 100 years",<br />
"run them out of the country",<br />
"sterolise them all",<br />
"get tough",<br />
"send them back where they came from",<br />
"riot in the streets",<br />
"rise up against them",<br />
"smash the system",<br />
"BAN immoral TV",<br />
"vote mccain",<br />
"go round their houses with a pair of pliers and a can of petrol",<br />
"let Newt sort it out",<br />
"call in the army now",<br />
"shoot on sight",<br />
"lock our kids away to save them",<br />
"shut up and obey orders, says the government",<br />
"round them all up and lock them away",<br />
"close the borders now",<br />
"elect Kilroy now",<br />
"make sure there are consequences",<br />
"have two strikes and you're out",<br />
"introduce zero tolerance",<br />
"promote marriage",<br />
"make sure everyone knows",<br />
"say enough is enough",<br />
"stand up and be counted",<br />
"ban them all",<br />
"have another war",<br />
"elect Ron Paul as vice president",<br />
"speak English",<br />
"impreach bush",<br />
"stop taking it lying down",<br />
"use napalm",<br />
"put them in loony bin",<br />
"leave the country.",<br />
"carpet bomb them flat",<br />
"put them in a rocket and fire them in to the sun",<br />
"nuke them"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var signoff = new Array(<br />
"Next we'll have pedophiles teaching our kids to swim",<br />
"No doubt this is legal under the human rights act",<br />
"No doubt this is illegal under the eu human rights act",<br />
"Soon this country will be majority muslim with a mosk in every village!!!",<br />
"This is a Christian country we must all have christian values",<br />
"If you like it so much why dont you go live there",<br />
"Time to get neocons OUT!!!!",<br />
"Im voting Ron Paul in the next election, its the sensible choice",<br />
"It could only get worse if the mexicans start teaching our kids!!!",<br />
"never did me any harm",<br />
"Pathetic",<br />
"Simple",<br />
"Its disgusting",<br />
"Disgraceful",<br />
"It's all Cheney's fault",<br />
"LOL",<br />
"Sad but true",<br />
"GOP for America",<br />
"We need another war",<br />
"PS If you are offended by this then leave the country",<br />
"You couldn’t make it up",<br />
"IT IS HELL ON EARTH, PEOPLE!",<br />
"WHAT A SHAME!",<br />
"Its like a nightmare but real",<br />
"This sounds totally crazy, but it is sadly, probably true",<br />
"What ever happened to putting UK first?",<br />
"America is going to the dogs",<br />
"Reagan was murdered",<br />
"This is why I'm emigrating soon",<br />
"Best thing for them",<br />
"I’d leave if I had my own country to go back to",<br />
"It's that simple",<br />
"It's not rocket science",<br />
"America for Americans",<br />
"The last to leave, please turn out the light",<br />
"Shame on you media",<br />
"Cry ‘In God We Trust’",<br />
"AMERICA FIRST",<br />
"Need I say more",<br />
"If you disagree SHUT UP",<br />
"Is it a tune too familiar from our media?",<br />
"We need less emotion and more backbone in this country",<br />
"Next question.",<br />
"What about OUR rights?",<br />
"What a mess",<br />
"These are worrying times",<br />
"This is very disturbing to me",<br />
"Wake up, people",<br />
"Lies! Lies! Lies!",<br />
"This is probably the best solution all around",<br />
"Common sense AT LAST!",<br />
"Nothing will ever change",<br />
"This is communism folks!",<br />
"Honestly this country !",<br />
"Sick to the back teeth",<br />
"We are all being had here",<br />
"That would certainly cause a bit more care to be taken",<br />
"This morning at breakfast my son leaned over to me and in a hushed voice said \"Dad, we are still in America, aren’t we?\" No son, I said. Not any more",<br />
"I am furious about this",<br />
"This is a perfect idea",<br />
"It's political correctness gone mad",<br />
"Oh wait, but what about their 'human rights'",<br />
"What about my right not to be murdered?",<br />
"What about my right not to be killed every day?",<br />
"Oh wait, that would be too sensible",<br />
"Oh wait, that wouldn't be 'PC' enough",<br />
"This is never mentioned by the media",<br />
"what's it going to be - only you can choose",<br />
"Simple as",<br />
"Put that in your pipe and smoke it",<br />
"This worries me",<br />
"Next",<br />
"Next stop HELL ON EARTH",<br />
"Are you listening? Off course not",<br />
"Hell in a handbaskett",<br />
"What a load of rot",<br />
"Next stop CHAOS",<br />
"Next stop WAR",<br />
"You heard it here first",<br />
"What would Lennon say?",<br />
"It's time to revolt people",<br />
"WHos fault is that?",<br />
"Lets do what the french do and all strike",<br />
"Mrs Thatcher must be spinning in her grave",<br />
"What next? Encourage single-parenting? Oops. They do it already",<br />
"What next? Shitting on the Constitution? Oops. They do it already",<br />
"What next? Imprisoning innocents? Oops. They do it already",<br />
"What next? Banning Religion? Oops. They do it already",<br />
"What next? A Muslim in the White house?",<br />
"What next? Giving benefits out to criminals? Oops. They do it already",<br />
"What happened to America?",<br />
"No joke",<br />
"FACT!",<br />
"What a tragedy",<br />
"This is Communism folks...",<br />
"This is america... Lets show it...",<br />
"Publish this one if you dare",<br />
"What do you think?",<br />
"I am now repudiating liberalism as I see it as deeply harmful to society",<br />
"This is just the first of many FACTS that the woolly-left have been ignoring for many years now",<br />
"It is only a matter of time before race riots spill blood on our streets",<br />
"Why did nobody listen to McCarthy all those years ago?",<br />
":)",<br />
"Will sex with animals be legal next?",<br />
"Will sex with children be legal next?"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var end_punctuation = new Array(<br />
".",<br />
"!",<br />
"!!",<br />
"!!!",<br />
"!!!",<br />
"!!!!!",<br />
"!?!",<br />
"!??"<br />
)<br />
<br />
var author = new Array(<br />
"Neocon MUST GO",<br />
"Liberal_lefty_bias",<br />
"Common sence",<br />
"going_to_the_dogs",<br />
"[Its_an_Outrage]",<br />
"My country is being betrayed",<br />
"Whydo Webother",<br />
"Totally Disgruntled",<br />
"UK stinks",<br />
"DISGUSTED",<br />
"Captain Sensible", <br />
"British Bulldog", <br />
"cyclops", <br />
"What_happened_to_my_country",<br />
"BNP for UK",<br />
"Smart_Guy",<br />
"Voice of Reason",<br />
"[Storm_Saxon]",<br />
"Mad as hell at PC Goons",<br />
"Sick of Labour",<br />
"[Saint George]",<br />
"[True Patriot]",<br />
"Lord Nelson",<br />
"ShutupFrance",<br />
"EU_bunglers_are_ruining_UK",<br />
"Immigrants Out Of England",<br />
"Mr angry",<br />
"Libby Lefty Nutcase",<br />
"Decent Chap",<br />
"Appalled_UK",<br />
"Zionist Elite Run UKKK",<br />
"English and Proud",<br />
"Tired Of PC loonies",<br />
"Sensible Bloke",<br />
"ex-Squaddie",<br />
"Shameful_UK",<br />
"Beer Drinker", <br />
"BNP_RULES",<br />
"English_forever",<br />
"Winston Churchill",<br />
"SonOfChurchill",<br />
"Working Class Tax Payer",<br />
"Tony Bliar",<br />
"[UnionJackForever]",<br />
"Gordon Clown Out Now",<br />
"Persecuted_in_his_own_country",<br />
"[Handsome Bloke]",<br />
"Fighting for My Rights",<br />
"[Lionheart111]",<br />
"True_Brit"<br />
);<br />
<br />
var authorloc = new Array(<br />
"Memphis",<br />
"Blighty",<br />
"America",<br />
"AMERICAN AND PROUD",<br />
"timbuktu",<br />
"WASHINGTON",<br />
"America for Americans",<br />
"The Real World",<br />
"Big Brother Government",<br />
"In the Know",<br />
);<br />
<br />
<br />
var a = Math.floor(Math.random()*opening1.length);<br />
var b = Math.floor(Math.random()*opening2.length);<br />
var c = Math.floor(Math.random()*hated_object.length);<br />
var d = Math.floor(Math.random()*terrible_thing.length);<br />
var e = Math.floor(Math.random()*because.length);<br />
var f = Math.floor(Math.random()*imperative.length);<br />
var g = Math.floor(Math.random()*moronic_solution.length);<br />
var h = Math.floor(Math.random()*signoff.length);<br />
var i = Math.floor(Math.random()*end_punctuation.length);<br />
var author_random = Math.floor(Math.random()*author.length);<br />
var authorloc_random = Math.floor(Math.random()*authorloc.length);<br />
<br />
var punc = get_punctuation();<br />
<br />
function randomiseit() {<br />
a = Math.floor(Math.random()*opening1.length);<br />
b = Math.floor(Math.random()*opening2.length);<br />
c = Math.floor(Math.random()*hated_object.length);<br />
d = Math.floor(Math.random()*terrible_thing.length);<br />
e = Math.floor(Math.random()*because.length);<br />
f = Math.floor(Math.random()*imperative.length);<br />
g = Math.floor(Math.random()*moronic_solution.length);<br />
h = Math.floor(Math.random()*signoff.length);<br />
i = Math.floor(Math.random()*end_punctuation.length);<br />
author_random = Math.floor(Math.random()*author.length);<br />
authorloc_random = Math.floor(Math.random()*authorloc.length);<br />
<br />
punc = get_punctuation();<br />
}<br />
<br />
function randtext() {<br />
<br />
var mystring = opening2[b] + " " + hated_object[c] + " " + terrible_thing[d];<br />
<br />
if (Math.random()>.5) {<br />
mystring += " because " + because[e];<br />
}<br />
mystring += punc + imperative[f] + " " + moronic_solution[g] + punc;<br />
<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\[number\]/, count_words(moronic_solution[g]));<br />
<br />
if (Math.random()>.2) {<br />
mystring += signoff[h] + end_punctuation[i];<br />
}<br />
<br />
if (Math.random()>.3) {<br />
mystring = opening1[a] + punc + mystring;<br />
}<br />
else {<br />
mystring = mystring.substring(0,1).toUpperCase() + mystring.substring(1,mystring.length);<br />
}<br />
<br />
//Moronicise - The following code messes up the spelling and punctuation<br />
<br />
if (Math.random()>.4) {<br />
//Remove all commas and apostrophes<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\,/, "");<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\'/, "");<br />
}<br />
<br />
if (Math.random()>.6) {<br />
//All periods become exclamation marks<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\./, "!");<br />
}<br />
<br />
if (Math.random()>.85) {<br />
//Lowercase everything<br />
mystring=mystring.toLowerCase();<br />
}<br />
<br />
if (Math.random()>.85) {<br />
//Remove all punctuation<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\,/g, " ");<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\'/g, " ");<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\./g, " ");<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\!/g, " ");<br />
mystring=mystring.replace(/\?/g, " ");<br />
//And lowercase everything<br />
mystring=mystring.toLowerCase();<br />
}<br />
<br />
if (Math.random()>.8) {<br />
//Capitalise everything<br />
mystring=mystring.toUpperCase();<br />
}<br />
<br />
//Delete random letters<br />
var letters_to_lose=Math.random();<br />
letters_to_lose=Math.pow(letters_to_lose,2.6);<br />
letters_to_lose=Math.round(letters_to_lose*4-.5);<br />
var j;<br />
for (j=0;j<letters_to_lose;j++) {<br />
var random_letter = Math.round(Math.random()*mystring.length-.5);<br />
mystring=mystring.substring(0,random_letter)+mystring.substring(random_letter+1)<br />
}<br />
<br />
//Transpose random letters<br />
var letters_to_lose=Math.random();<br />
letters_to_lose=Math.pow(letters_to_lose,2.57);<br />
letters_to_lose=Math.round(letters_to_lose*4-.5);<br />
var j;<br />
for (j=0;j<letters_to_lose;j++) {<br />
var random_letter = " ";<br />
while (random_letter == " ") {<br />
random_letter = Math.round(Math.random()*(mystring.length-3)-.5+2);<br />
}<br />
mystring=mystring.substring(0,random_letter-1)+mystring.substring(random_letter,random_letter+1)+<br />
mystring.substring(random_letter-1,random_letter)+mystring.substring(random_letter+1);<br />
}<br />
<br />
return (mystring);<br />
}<br />
<br />
<br />
function rand_author() {<br />
return author[author_random];<br />
}<br />
<br />
function rand_loc() {<br />
return authorloc[authorloc_random];<br />
}<br />
<br />
//Gets the current date<br />
function current_date() {<br />
var currentTime = new Date();<br />
var month = currentTime.getMonth();<br />
var day_of_week = currentTime.getDay();<br />
var day = currentTime.getDate();<br />
var year = currentTime.getFullYear();<br />
var hour = currentTime.getHours();<br />
var minute = currentTime.getMinutes();<br />
var day_list = new Array("Monday","Tuesday","Wednesday","Thursday","Friday","Saturday","Sunday")<br />
var month_list = new Array("January","February","March","April","May","June","July","August","September","October","November","December") <br />
document.write("Added: " + day_list[day_of_week-1] + ", " + day + " " + month_list[month] + ", " + year + ", " + hour + ":" + minute + " GMT");<br />
}<br />
<br />
//Function to count the words for when the HYS uses [number] words as in "Three words: string them up". It always counts the number of words wrongly.<br />
function count_words(n) {<br />
var x = n.split(" ").length<br />
x += Math.pow(-1,Math.round(Math.random()*2-.5))<br />
if (x<2) {x+=2}<br />
var number_list = new Array("zero","one","two","three","four","five","six",<br />
"seven","eight","nine","ten","eleven","twelve","thirteen","fourteen")<br />
if (x>=number_list.length) {<br />
return x<br />
}<br />
else {<br />
return number_list[x].substring(0,1).toUpperCase() + number_list[x].substring(1,number_list[x].length)<br />
}<br />
}<br />
<br />
<br />
function get_punctuation() {<br />
var r = Math.random()*20;<br />
<br />
if(r < 15)<br />
return ". ";<br />
<br />
if(r < 17)<br />
return ", ";<br />
<br />
if(r < 19)<br />
return "... ";<br />
<br />
return ",,, ";<br />
}<br />
<br />
function new_turd() {<br />
randomiseit();<br />
document.getElementById('commentbody').innerHTML = randtext();<br />
document.getElementById('commentauthor').innerHTML = rand_author();<br />
document.getElementById('commentrecommend').innerHTML = Math.floor(Math.random()*300);<br />
document.getElementById('commentloc').innerHTML = rand_loc();<br />
<br />
}<br />
<br />
//</SCRIPT><br />
<br />
<body style="background-color: transparent"><br />
<br />
<table width="420"><br />
<tr><br />
<td colspan="2"><br />
<hr /><br />
</td><br />
</tr><br />
<tr><br />
<td valign="top"><br />
<img src="bubble.gif" alt="bubble" /><br />
</td><br />
<td><br />
<br />
<div class="grey"><br />
<br />
<SCRIPT><br />
current_date();<br />
</SCRIPT><br />
<br />
</div><br />
<br /><br />
<br />
<div class="text" id="commentbody"><br />
<br />
<SCRIPT>document.write(randtext());</SCRIPT><br />
<NOSCRIPT>You must have Javascript enabled</NOSCRIPT><br />
<br />
</div><br />
<br /><br />
<br />
<span class="author" id="commentauthor"><SCRIPT>document.write(rand_author());</SCRIPT></span><br />
<span class="text" id="commentloc"><SCRIPT>document.write(rand_loc());</SCRIPT></span><br />
<br />
<div><br />
<table width="100%" border="0"><br />
<tr><br />
<td colspan="2" class="grey"><br />
&nbsp;<br />
</td><br />
</tr><br />
<td colspan="2" class="grey"><br />
Recommended by <span class="recommend" id="commentrecommend"><SCRIPT>document.write(Math.floor(Math.random()*300));</SCRIPT></span> people<br />
</td><br />
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</td><br />
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<td colspan="2"><br />
<hr /><br />
</td><br />
</tr><br />
</table><br />
<input type="button" name="New" value="New" onClick="new_turd();"><br />
<br />
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</BODY><br />
</HTML><br />
</nowiki></pre><br />
<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
== Zipplebot ==<br />
<pre><nowiki><br />
#! /usr/bin/env python<br />
<br />
import sys<br />
import socket<br />
from time import time, strftime<br />
from random import shuffle, randint, choice<br />
from heapq import heappush, heappop, heapify<br />
<br />
print ' ZIPPLEBOT'<br />
print ' ---------------'<br />
<br />
HOST = 'irc.maddshark.com' # 'irc.krey.net'<br />
PORT = 6667<br />
NICK = 'Zipplebot'<br />
IDENT = 'Zip'<br />
REALNAME = 'Zipplebot Dutchcode'<br />
CHANNEL = '#discord'<br />
<br />
DEBUG = len(sys.argv) > 1 and sys.argv[1] == 'DEBUG'<br />
<br />
def timestamp():<br />
return strftime('[%d/%m,%H:%M]')<br />
<br />
talk_queue = []<br />
def say(text, delay=0, recipient=False):<br />
heappush(talk_queue, (time() + delay, recipient or CHANNEL, text))<br />
<br />
s = socket.socket()<br />
s.settimeout(1.0)<br />
s.connect((HOST, PORT))<br />
<br />
readbuffer = ''<br />
running = True<br />
logged_on = False<br />
in_channel = False<br />
<br />
print '%s ---- connecting to %s as %s' % (timestamp(), HOST, NICK)<br />
s.send('NICK %s\r\n' % NICK)<br />
s.send('USER %s %s Blah :%s\r\n' % (IDENT, HOST, REALNAME))<br />
<br />
while running:<br />
try:<br />
readbuffer += s.recv(1024)<br />
except socket.timeout:<br />
readbuffer = ''<br />
<br />
temp = readbuffer.split('\n')<br />
readbuffer = temp.pop()<br />
<br />
for line in temp:<br />
line = line.rstrip()<br />
line = line.split()<br />
<br />
if line[0].startswith(':'):<br />
prefix = line.pop(0)<br />
<br />
command = line.pop(0)<br />
params = line <br />
<br />
if DEBUG:<br />
print '%s {%s} %s %s' % (timestamp(), prefix, command, params)<br />
<br />
if command == 'PING':<br />
if DEBUG:<br />
print '%s ---> PONG' % timestamp()<br />
s.send('PONG %s\r\n' % params[0])<br />
<br />
elif command == '001': # i suppose this is the welcome message<br />
print '%s -- connected.' % timestamp()<br />
logged_on = True<br />
print '%s -- joining channel %s.' % (timestamp(), CHANNEL)<br />
s.send('JOIN %s\r\n' % CHANNEL)<br />
<br />
elif command == '353' and params[2] == CHANNEL: #RPL_NAMREPLY<br />
print '%s -- joined channel %s.' % (timestamp(), CHANNEL)<br />
in_channel = True<br />
<br />
say('Hello I am %s. I will not kill you.' % NICK.title());<br />
say('Cold in here, isn\'t it?', delay=20)<br />
<br />
elif command == 'PRIVMSG' and params[0] == CHANNEL:<br />
# react to chatter here<br />
text = ' '.join(params[1:])[1:]<br />
print '%s %s' % (timestamp(), text)<br />
<br />
if text.lower().startswith(NICK.lower()):<br />
# trying to get my attention<br />
text = text[len(NICK):].lstrip(':, .>?!-')<br />
if text.lower().startswith('define'):<br />
# i'm asked to define something<br />
say(choice(['Fuck off.', 'Google is your friend. I\'M NOT.', 'STFU', 'Do I look like a fucking encyclopedia to you?', \<br />
'LALALALALALA I CAN\'T HEAR YOU!!!!! ... (fucker)', 'Do it yourself, moron.', 'NO, I WILL NOT. Now fuck off.']))<br />
elif ' or ' in text and text.endswith('?'):<br />
# "this or that or this" question is asked<br />
options = text.rstrip('?').split(' or ')<br />
shuffle(options)<br />
if options:<br />
say(options.pop().title() + '.')<br />
if options and randint(1, 8) == 1:<br />
say('No wait I changed my mind, it\'s %s.' % options.pop().lower(), randint(5, 20))<br />
if options and randint(1, 15) == 1:<br />
say('... wait wait wait I really meant to say %s, srsly.' % options.pop().lower(), randint(20, 60))<br />
<br />
if talk_queue and in_channel and logged_on:<br />
# manage talking queue<br />
(when, who, what) = talk_queue[0]<br />
if time() >= when:<br />
heappop(talk_queue)<br />
s.send('PRIVMSG %s :%s\r\n' % (who, what))<br />
</nowiki></pre></div>164.67.235.79 Deprecated: header(): Passing null to parameter #3 ($response_code) of type int is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/WebResponse.php on line 42
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