Author Topic: The Barstool Experiment  (Read 119309 times)

the other anonymous

  • Pink spraypaint
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3559
    • View Profile
    • http://toa267.deviantart.com/
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #15 on: June 14, 2006, 08:21:33 am »
Quote from: LHX
I really think this should be pinned.

Or possibly be the catalyst behind Discordia Revisited Advanced Course.


Discordia Revisited: Advanced Courses in Universally-Lucid Awareness

I love acronymns. :D

Shibboleet The Annihilator

  • The
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 48326
    • View Profile
    • .
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #16 on: June 14, 2006, 08:38:09 am »
Quote from: LMNO
Clumsily put, Let's say we were in a bar, having a few pints, and talking about the nature of Universe.

You point out that most of what we consider "matter" is made up of empty space; the distance between a nucleus, it's electrons, and the nearest adjacent atom is comparatively large; why, that barstool over there shouldn't even be considered a solid!

I respond by saying that as far as we can actually prove, that barstool might simply be a hallucination, for we're not actually seeing the barstool, we're processing electric signals in our heads generated by our optic nevrves that claim certain wavelengths of ligh have bounced off an object, but none of that says anything about whether or not the barstool actually exists.


Then ECH comes along, picks up the barstool, and proceeds to beat the shit out of us with it for being such pretentious assholes.


bump4page2

putz

  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 1542
  • LOOK AT ALL THIS GREAT STUFF!!
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #17 on: June 14, 2006, 09:22:59 am »
Possibly my Marcel Duchamp story?  http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=9835
If you think it's clumsy, I have no problem with someone copyediting/rewriting it so long as the basic ideas stay.
You really are children here I cant believe it???

Michal

  • Trust the fuckhead.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6608
  • FAG GRENADE!!!
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #18 on: June 14, 2006, 09:32:22 am »
I like it and I think you're more than capable of putting the final polish on it. But if you really want a second opinion, ask Gnimbley over on EB&G. Hes really good at this sort of thing.
Reverend-Saint Michal, KSC
Psychotik Lobster Cabal
Guardian of the Eternal Loogie
Sporadic Asshat, Minor Annoyance

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Freedom is something you seize.  And you give the people you're seizing it from a fucking rupture.

Shibboleet The Annihilator

  • The
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 48326
    • View Profile
    • .
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #19 on: June 14, 2006, 09:50:02 am »
I AM NOT MARCEL DUCHAMP!
\

Michal

  • Trust the fuckhead.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6608
  • FAG GRENADE!!!
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #20 on: June 14, 2006, 09:51:31 am »
Heheheh...
Reverend-Saint Michal, KSC
Psychotik Lobster Cabal
Guardian of the Eternal Loogie
Sporadic Asshat, Minor Annoyance

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Freedom is something you seize.  And you give the people you're seizing it from a fucking rupture.

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87071
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #21 on: June 14, 2006, 03:59:04 pm »
Revision:  Comments welcome.

Once upon a time, two Serious Minded people were in their local pub, having a few pints, and talking about the nature of Universe.

Bill pointed out that most of what we consider matter is made up of empty space.  The distance between a nucleus, its electrons, and the nearest adjacent atom is comparatively large; why, that barstool over there shouldn't even be considered a solid!

Joe responded, but waitĶ As far as we can actually prove, that barstool might simply be a hallucination, for we're not actually seeing the barstool, we're processing electric signals in our heads generated by our optic nerves.  And all they are doing is claiming certain wavelengths of light have bounced off an object.  But what if the nerves are misfiring, which we all know happen quite often?  So, we cant really say whether or not the barstool even exists!

Just then, a man approached them and said, I couldnt help but overhear you two talking.  If I may, I have an experiment for you.  Purely in the interest of a Deeper Understanding of the Universe.

He then proceeded to pick up the barstool and pummel both Bill and Joe squarely about the head and torso, because they were so obviouly pretentious assholes who deserved a beatdown.

Thus, they were enlightened.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #22 on: June 15, 2006, 01:33:34 am »
Quote from: LMNO
Revision:  Comments welcome.

Once upon a time, two Serious Minded people were in their local pub, having a few pints, and talking about the nature of Universe.

Bill pointed out that most of what we consider matter is made up of empty space.  The distance between a nucleus, its electrons, and the nearest adjacent atom is comparatively large; why, that barstool over there shouldn't even be considered a solid!

Joe responded, but waitĶ As far as we can actually prove, that barstool might simply be a hallucination, for we're not actually seeing the barstool, we're processing electric signals in our heads generated by our optic nerves.  And all they are doing is claiming certain wavelengths of light have bounced off an object.  But what if the nerves are misfiring, which we all know happen quite often?  So, we cant really say whether or not the barstool even exists!

Just then, a man approached them and said, I couldnt help but overhear you two talking.  If I may, I have an experiment for you.  Purely in the interest of a Deeper Understanding of the Universe.

He then proceeded to pick up the barstool and pummel both Bill and Joe squarely about the head and torso, because they were so obviouly pretentious assholes who deserved a beatdown.

Thus, they were enlightened.


Heh.  I havwe a hankering to write this HST style. :lol:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Shibboleet The Annihilator

  • The
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 48326
    • View Profile
    • .
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #23 on: June 15, 2006, 05:59:40 am »
Everything is better Gonzo-ized.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #24 on: June 15, 2006, 06:32:21 am »
Quote from: Machine Grind Dream
Everything is better Gonzo-ized.


Tomorrow, I will do horrible things to the memory of HST via this story.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Fizzwitz Glorypoop

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 2998
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #25 on: June 15, 2006, 06:45:40 am »
Quote from: LMNO
Revision:  Comments welcome.

Once upon a time, two Serious Minded people were in their local pub, having a few pints, and talking about the nature of Universe.

Bill pointed out that most of what we consider matter is made up of empty space.  The distance between a nucleus, its electrons, and the nearest adjacent atom is comparatively large; why, that barstool over there shouldn't even be considered a solid!

Joe responded, but waitĶ As far as we can actually prove, that barstool might simply be a hallucination, for we're not actually seeing the barstool, we're processing electric signals in our heads generated by our optic nerves.  And all they are doing is claiming certain wavelengths of light have bounced off an object.  But what if the nerves are misfiring, which we all know happen quite often?  So, we cant really say whether or not the barstool even exists!

Just then, a man approached them and said, I couldnt help but overhear you two talking.  If I may, I have an experiment for you.  Purely in the interest of a Deeper Understanding of the Universe.

He then proceeded to pick up the barstool and pummel both Bill and Joe squarely about the head and torso, because they were so obviouly pretentious assholes who deserved a beatdown.

Thus, they were enlightened.


But then people might think we are violent! I think the man should sprinkle them with fairy dust and make them fly! Then they will see the error of their ways!


















 :)
Fizzwitz Glorypoop, Baroness of Paradox, Episkopos of the Cabal of Innocent Absurdity



"Snorting ground up crows beak off the broken shards of your bathroom mirror might not get you high, but that doesnt mean its not worth doing." - Z3

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #26 on: June 15, 2006, 06:47:32 am »
Quote from: Fizzwitz Glorypoop

But then people might think we are violent!



We aren't?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 105001
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #27 on: June 15, 2006, 11:05:29 am »
I am proud to have introduced applied violence to the solution of long held philosophical problems.

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87071
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #28 on: June 15, 2006, 12:22:57 pm »
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Machine Grind Dream
Everything is better Gonzo-ized.


Tomorrow, I will do horrible things to the memory of HST via this story.


This is one of the best Ideas I've heard all week.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
The Barstool Experiment
« Reply #29 on: June 16, 2006, 01:22:22 am »
Quote from: LMNO
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Machine Grind Dream
Everything is better Gonzo-ized.


Tomorrow, I will do horrible things to the memory of HST via this story.


This is one of the best Ideas I've heard all week.


Efrim and I were in the airport bar, discussing the future of American football, when two men wearing clerical collars walked in.

They sat down, and pretty soon they were discussing the nature of reality, and of heaven and hell, and which swine would go where.  The first mentioned that the barstool next to the one he was sitting on was made of "matter", which is mostly empty space.  The second replied that there was no real proof that the stool even existed, since the senses are simply recording data that may or may not be correct.

Now, while we were paying attention to this, we missed the Raiders throwing yet another interception.  Efrim decided he had had enough, and walked over to the barstool in question.  He picked it up, and said, "I refute it THUS", and began to thrash the two clergymen.  One was knocked into me, and I spilled my drink...so, as he started to get up, I put my cigarette out on his neck.

"That will teach you to mess with serious people", I snarled, and kicked him back onto the floor.  Three TSA goons ran in, and dragged the two screaming ministers away, to some small filthy room where they would be made to explain themselves to all the wrong people.

Efrim sat down, and picked up his drink.  "I hate guys like that", he said, "Reality is anything that can raise a lump on your skull."

"That's because you have no faith in the words of St Augustine", I replied, "You young Turks are all the same".
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.