Author Topic: You have mail  (Read 4038 times)

Payne

  • Bowel-Shattering Deathbag of Monstrously Amorous Intent
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 88413
    • View Profile
You have mail
« on: April 02, 2007, 08:37:41 am »
Your possessions no longer interest me, neither does your fragile mental state. Your intellect has become stale and useless, wallpaper in the cage you call your life, a mere link in the chains you are to make yourself. Forced to do so by yourself.

Your friends/family/pets/rulers/employers are meaningless constructs until you accept the grim reality of this situation. Perhaps they are meaningless until they accept the reality of their very own imprisionment.

Go on, make a checklist of what you need to survive. Done? Good.

Besides food, warmth, shelter, what, if taken away, would actually kill you?

Discard as appropriate.

Now break down whats left. Do you really need your takeaway pizza every weekend? Would you really be a lesser person if you had a one bedroom housing cube in the shadowy part of the big city?

Discard as appropriate.

Now you have pressed the reset button. Feel free to add to your list again, but this time its not what you need to survive, its what you need to live.

Add your favourite art, scenic views and witticisms. Most of all, I suggest the quiet dignity of a free human. But thats only me, you are now in total editorial control.

Done? Good.

Now look around you. Does anything seem different? Do you really like that McBurgerHut down the road, the one you've been hanging around, inside and out, since you were able enough to say "I want!!" and point? Does the preacherman seem more, or less, creepy? Something never sat quite right with his fantastical tales of eternal paradise, if only you were "good" in this life. A life which, to the best of MY knowledge, is the only one you are guaranteeed to have?

Do you have any questions you have to have the answers to, answers that you know only you can find?

Good. Join the club.

This is a chainmail letter, you must now invent a way to mail it to yourself five years ago...

P.S. Have more fun, I can tell you it wasn't a barrel of laughs the first time around.

P3nT4gR4m

  • Official SSOOKN Pariah
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 72444
  • I'm an artist now - isn't that depressing?
    • View Profile
    • fuck you
Re: You have mail
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2007, 08:54:49 am »

This is a chainmail letter, you must now invent a way to mail it to yourself five years ago...


:mittens:

Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and itís not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesnít matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2007, 05:20:16 pm »
But I don't want to discard my stuff. :(

It's mine.  Get your filthy hands off of it. :x
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

AFK

  • We all
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 73111
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2007, 05:26:45 pm »
9/10
good rant.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Payne

  • Bowel-Shattering Deathbag of Monstrously Amorous Intent
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 88413
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2007, 09:39:52 am »
But I don't want to discard my stuff. :(

It's mine.  Get your filthy hands off of it. :x

I don't want your stuff rev. You can put it to far better use than I can, Oh ye of the 1001 ways to kill someone with a small pebble you found stuck in the tread of your shoe.

 :eek:

~~~~~srsly scared of your abilities.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2007, 04:24:20 pm »
But I don't want to discard my stuff. :(

It's mine.  Get your filthy hands off of it. :x

I don't want your stuff rev. You can put it to far better use than I can, Oh ye of the 1001 ways to kill someone with a small pebble you found stuck in the tread of your shoe.

 :eek:

~~~~~srsly scared of your abilities.

If I had "abilities", I'd have gotten ONE of you lazy bastards to kill me years ago.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hunter s.durden

  • Official Iconoclast
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 22090
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2007, 04:26:07 pm »
Roger, I promise if you're still alive in 25 years, I will kill you.
This space for rent.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2007, 04:33:47 pm »
Roger, I promise if you're still alive in 25 years, I will kill you.

I gotta wait another quarter fucking century?

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hunter s.durden

  • Official Iconoclast
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 22090
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2007, 04:34:47 pm »
Hey, it's a better offer then you got from anyone else.
This space for rent.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2007, 04:39:14 pm »
Hey, it's a better offer then you got from anyone else.

Fucker.  I hope the ice sheets get you. :x
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Random Probability

  • Has Never Been
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 3001
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2007, 01:26:49 am »
Roger, I promise if you're still alive in 25 years, I will kill you.

I gotta wait another quarter fucking century?



Oh jesus h fucking christ, Roger.  I'm just up the road in Phoenix.  I could practically shoot you from here for fucks sake.

RP,
Used to teach Marines how to shoot....

Idem

  • Adorable Lesbian
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 14655
    • View Profile
    • Kitschstortion
Re: You have mail
« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2007, 02:24:30 am »
Roger, I promise if you're still alive in 25 years, I will kill you.

I gotta wait another quarter fucking century?



Oh jesus h fucking christ, Roger.  I'm just up the road in Phoenix.  I could practically shoot you from here for fucks sake.

RP,
Used to teach Marines how to shoot....
:eek:

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2007, 07:52:34 am »
Roger, I promise if you're still alive in 25 years, I will kill you.

I gotta wait another quarter fucking century?



Oh jesus h fucking christ, Roger.  I'm just up the road in Phoenix.  I could practically shoot you from here for fucks sake.

RP,
Used to teach Marines how to shoot....

But you fucking well haven't, have you? 

No.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2007, 07:52:56 am »
Roger, I promise if you're still alive in 25 years, I will kill you.

I gotta wait another quarter fucking century?



Oh jesus h fucking christ, Roger.  I'm just up the road in Phoenix.  I could practically shoot you from here for fucks sake.

RP,
Used to teach Marines how to shoot....
:eek:

He was a marine DI?  Interesting.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hunter s.durden

  • Official Iconoclast
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 22090
    • View Profile
Re: You have mail
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2007, 01:50:53 pm »
He could have been a civilian instructor at Quantico.
This space for rent.