Author Topic: ITT: Best Posts of the Day  (Read 219490 times)

Cain

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1410 on: September 09, 2013, 07:57:31 pm »
-
« Last Edit: October 25, 2013, 04:27:30 pm by - »

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1411 on: September 09, 2013, 08:34:33 pm »
Congress is full of underachievers with skinny weiners who will never amount to anything and don't even lift.

Seconded.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

SuuCal

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1412 on: October 24, 2013, 04:29:22 am »
In the summer, at night, the people across the street can see directly into my living room. So when I make the sweet body music with my dear girlfriend, rather than showing them her glorious form, I make sure to bend over and give them a good look into my hairy brown eye, just in case.

I wish I could do that.  I mean, they get the hair, but there's too much hair for them to get the rest.

Yeah, that's unfortunate. For the full effect, you really need that faint glimpse of pale, quivering mass underneath. A flesh undulating and hidden beneath that tangle of scraggley, furious hair. It reflects the moonlight and there, peeking from within, the nightmare of dank knot. An exit from a world of woes, a hellish portal created seemingly for malevolence alone. And beyond that, just shy of a furiously flapping scrotum bedecked in more wirey insulation, a plane of skin that has never seen a happy day and never will.

And then, just briefly, in the fraction of a second betweeen the spectacle catching your eye and the wracking shudder that follows, you know that taint all to well. For that moment, you are the taint. Then you are changed forever.

I don't feel very pretty right now.   :sad:

Hush.

You are beautiful.   :eek:

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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1413 on: October 28, 2013, 08:39:29 pm »
Not a post here, but:

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/27/21194968-british-street-artist-banksy-trashes-design-of-one-world-trade-center

Quote
"Nobody comes to New York to bathe in your well-mannered common sense," he wrote. "We're here for the spirit and audacity. Of which One World Trade has none."

 :lulz:

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1414 on: October 28, 2013, 08:56:18 pm »
Not a post here, but:

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/27/21194968-british-street-artist-banksy-trashes-design-of-one-world-trade-center

Quote
"Nobody comes to New York to bathe in your well-mannered common sense," he wrote. "We're here for the spirit and audacity. Of which One World Trade has none."

 :lulz:

The comments on there make me wish my "slap people in the face through the Internet" invention was past the paper napkin phase.
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Don't fucking judge me, I've got tentacles for a face.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1415 on: October 28, 2013, 08:58:20 pm »
Not a post here, but:

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/27/21194968-british-street-artist-banksy-trashes-design-of-one-world-trade-center

Quote
"Nobody comes to New York to bathe in your well-mannered common sense," he wrote. "We're here for the spirit and audacity. Of which One World Trade has none."

 :lulz:

The comments on there make me wish my "slap people in the face through the Internet" invention was past the paper napkin phase.

The spelling alone is enough to get me rolling.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1416 on: November 13, 2013, 06:41:16 pm »
I bought a bag of Freedom and all I got was this lousy flag I'm not even allowed to wipe my ass on.

"I went to Afghanistan and all I got was this lousy prosthetic limb"

"I protested at the G8, and all I got was toxic derivatives and no prospect of ever retiring"

I stole a bunch of shit and all I got was to keep it. For free!

"I fought and died for Universal Suffrage, but all I got to vote for was John Jackson and Jack Johnson"
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Payne

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1417 on: November 13, 2013, 07:46:15 pm »
I cribbed that from Futurama.

But all of you knew that anyway.

I steal ALL of my best bits.

Hoopla

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1418 on: November 18, 2013, 11:25:57 pm »
Somewhat off topic but dear god man why do you have so many children?

Law of averages.  One of them will eventually act the way he wants it to.
"Soon, all of us will have special names." -Professor Brian O'Blivion

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SuuCal

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1419 on: November 20, 2013, 07:10:11 pm »
Emoticon Theater presents A Day at the Holist Household:

Quote
Honey, I came home from work and the 3.5 year old says she hasn't been fed all day.
\
 :sadbanana:

I'm BUSY.
\
:boot:

You're on the computer.  The child is starving.
\
:sadbanana:

Look, this is IMPORTANT.  Roger is WRONG.
\
:mad:

I think the child may be more important.
\
:sadbanana:

I'M STARTING TO DOUBT WHETHER YOU'RE REALLY MY IDEAL WIFE AFTER ALL.
\
:mad:

...
\
:sadbanana:

GO MAKE ME A TURKEY POT PIE!
\
:mad:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
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"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

SuuCal

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1420 on: December 16, 2013, 11:27:58 pm »
It's like having Oompa Loompas describe a sexual assault.

As soon as I typed it... that fucking mental image.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
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"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

P3nT4gR4m

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1421 on: December 17, 2013, 11:10:20 pm »
I can't look at octopus meat without being sad.

Same. Cephalopods and veal are on the "not food because feelings" list.

Cephalopods are on the "tasty when boiled" list.

How... how could you?
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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1422 on: December 18, 2013, 02:08:19 am »
:thanks:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Bu☆ns

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1423 on: December 25, 2013, 05:06:05 am »
>He was known to “purchase cocaine for his personal use and also, on occasion, share it with others,”

Hey, he's sharing, I don't really see the problem.

Sharing is a gateway drug for Communism
« Last Edit: December 25, 2013, 05:07:40 am by Bu☆ns »

Bu☆ns

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1424 on: January 05, 2014, 05:39:26 am »
/b/oxxy must be sacrificed to our new queen Miley. Blood for the twerk god!