Author Topic: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian  (Read 18653 times)

Voodoo

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Re: Hello, I am a Christ
« Reply #210 on: June 13, 2008, 08:42:21 pm »
strife?

does anyone else find it funny that christians, who make up the largest and most powerful majority in the the united states, still feel the need to believe that they are oppressed, subjugated, and somehow under attack???  Don't get me wrong, I'd love to feed a lot of them to the lions, but for reall...

oh, and yes...  I am Christ.

Cain

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #211 on: June 13, 2008, 08:45:25 pm »
Being persecuted is teh shit.  You get to bitch and moan, and act all righteous at the same time!  Plus it create in-group loyalty.
"The thoughts of all men arise from the darkness. If you are the movement of your soul, and the cause of that movement precedes you, then how could you ever call your thoughts your own? How could you be anything other than a slave to the darkness that comes before? Only the Logos allows one to mitigate that slavery. Only knowing the sources of thought and action allows us to own our thoughts and our actions, to throw off the yoke of circumstance."
- R. Scott Bakker, The Darkness That Comes Before

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #212 on: June 13, 2008, 08:48:09 pm »
Being persecuted gives you the moral authority to be a total dickhead.  See:  IANAR
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Reverend Loveshade

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Re: Hello, I am a Christ
« Reply #213 on: June 14, 2008, 04:04:29 am »
strife?

does anyone else find it funny that christians, who make up the largest and most powerful majority in the the united states, still feel the need to believe that they are oppressed, subjugated, and somehow under attack???....

I do, although I think those who claim that are mostly a whiney minority.  I'm not saying someone couldn't be picked on in America for being Christian. They can pick on you for anything.  But where I grew up you were a more likely target if you had red hair and freckles, or if you didn't dress the way you were "supposed to," or if you dated someone of a different race, or if your parents were of different races.  And if you claimed to be a witch?  Bring out the tar and feathers and oil and torches, folks!

But you could get away with being called Wiccan, because back in the day nobody knew what that meant except other Pagans. You could say Wiccans believed in natural medicine, preserving nature, God, and invoking the Goddess while dancing naked around a bonfire. OK, maybe you might leave off that last part....
"Threats should not be tolerated. They're demeaning, they're violations to human rights and no one deserves them."

-- navkat, 20 June 2007, principiadiscordia.com

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Hello, I am a Christ
« Reply #214 on: June 14, 2008, 05:05:39 am »
strife?

does anyone else find it funny that christians, who make up the largest and most powerful majority in the the united states, still feel the need to believe that they are oppressed, subjugated, and somehow under attack???....

I do, although I think those who claim that are mostly a whiney minority.  I'm not saying someone couldn't be picked on in America for being Christian. They can pick on you for anything.  But where I grew up you were a more likely target if you had red hair and freckles, or if you didn't dress the way you were "supposed to," or if you dated someone of a different race, or if your parents were of different races.  And if you claimed to be a witch?  Bring out the tar and feathers and oil and torches, folks!

But you could get away with being called Wiccan, because back in the day nobody knew what that meant except other Pagans. You could say Wiccans believed in natural medicine, preserving nature, God, and invoking the Goddess while dancing naked around a bonfire WITH 300 POUND SMELLY HAIRY CHICKS AND EFFEMINATE MEN WHO SHAVE THEIR LEGS AND WEAR EYESHADOW. OK, maybe you might leave off that last part....

Fixed.
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Thurnez Isa

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Re: Hello, I am a Christ
« Reply #215 on: June 14, 2008, 11:36:30 am »
strife?

does anyone else find it funny that christians, who make up the largest and most powerful majority in the the united states, still feel the need to believe that they are oppressed, subjugated, and somehow under attack???....

I do, although I think those who claim that are mostly a whiney minority.  I'm not saying someone couldn't be picked on in America for being Christian. They can pick on you for anything.  But where I grew up you were a more likely target if you had red hair and freckles, or if you didn't dress the way you were "supposed to," or if you dated someone of a different race, or if your parents were of different races.  And if you claimed to be a witch?  Bring out the tar and feathers and oil and torches, folks!

But you could get away with being called Wiccan, because back in the day nobody knew what that meant except other Pagans. You could say Wiccans believed in natural medicine, preserving nature, God, and invoking the Goddess while dancing naked around a bonfire. AND TRY TO GET AWAY WITH BLATANTLY MAKING STUFF UP AND CALLING IT HISTORY

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #216 on: June 14, 2008, 06:07:59 pm »
SHUT UP THE BURNING TIMES WAS OUR HOLOCAUST!!!
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Cain

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #217 on: June 14, 2008, 06:12:30 pm »
PAGANS ARE JUST LIKE J00S, ONLY EVEN MOAR PERSECUTED!
"The thoughts of all men arise from the darkness. If you are the movement of your soul, and the cause of that movement precedes you, then how could you ever call your thoughts your own? How could you be anything other than a slave to the darkness that comes before? Only the Logos allows one to mitigate that slavery. Only knowing the sources of thought and action allows us to own our thoughts and our actions, to throw off the yoke of circumstance."
- R. Scott Bakker, The Darkness That Comes Before

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #218 on: June 14, 2008, 06:16:58 pm »
I think once upon a time many years ago I described my venture into PaganLand, where I received that actual speech and many others.  Maybe I'll write it up again.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Cain

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #219 on: June 14, 2008, 06:25:25 pm »
If you do, would you mind me copying it to my little Pagan mocking site?

http://whypaganismsucks.blogspot.com/

It could fit in quite well.
"The thoughts of all men arise from the darkness. If you are the movement of your soul, and the cause of that movement precedes you, then how could you ever call your thoughts your own? How could you be anything other than a slave to the darkness that comes before? Only the Logos allows one to mitigate that slavery. Only knowing the sources of thought and action allows us to own our thoughts and our actions, to throw off the yoke of circumstance."
- R. Scott Bakker, The Darkness That Comes Before

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #220 on: June 14, 2008, 06:30:49 pm »
Okay, gimme a while.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Cain

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #221 on: June 14, 2008, 07:06:40 pm »
Thanks, whenever you have the time.  Sadly, I don't seem to be inspiring Pagans to attack me for my nasty postings.  Well, not yet at least.   :|
"The thoughts of all men arise from the darkness. If you are the movement of your soul, and the cause of that movement precedes you, then how could you ever call your thoughts your own? How could you be anything other than a slave to the darkness that comes before? Only the Logos allows one to mitigate that slavery. Only knowing the sources of thought and action allows us to own our thoughts and our actions, to throw off the yoke of circumstance."
- R. Scott Bakker, The Darkness That Comes Before

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #222 on: June 14, 2008, 07:13:39 pm »
Once upon a time, long ago, when I was a young and bright-eyed college student, I took a class on witchcraft.  It was pretty cool.  We did a lot of neat stuff, like make a haunted house for halloween, and we took a field trip to Circle Sanctuary.   Little did we know, when starting out, that if awkwardness is hell we were traveling all the way down to the ninth circle.

It started out badly enough.  We all piled into a bus and wended our way into the "hills" (as one raised in Utah, I just can't get impressed by the puny geology of southern Wisconsin).  The road kept getting narrower and narrower, more and more overgrown, but when you've got a bus built like a tank that doesn't matter too much.

We were greeted by two dumpy women.  One was young and dumpy, clad in a tie-dye fairy t-shirt and broomstick skirt.  The other was old and dumpy, with some sort of linen contraption that was tied badly at the sides, exposing vast expanses of old, dumpy woman-flesh.   They were the only ones there.

We were escorted into a barn which stank of mice.  It was the only structure on the site.  It was empty except for a lot of folding chairs and a small table piled with a bunch of those polished stones you can get at the mall.  We arranged the folding chairs in a circle and sat, holding hands in total silence, while the Dumpy Ladies sang at us.  I don't know about you, but being part of a disbelieving group while two people sing badly, in high quavery voices, was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life.  They were obviously going through the steps they always used on tour groups, except that we weren't gushy nerds totally ready to get totally into it.  They did a little speech about the basic precepts of Wicca, law of threes and all that, then told us to pick up a stone from the table and we'd go hiking.

Then after all that bullshit was over, we wended our way up the "mountain".  We passed various shrines:  one for cats, one for dogs, one for deer ("Pray for the deer stricken with wasting disease!") etc.  At the very top of the "mountain" there was a clearing with a wide circle made out of little rocks.  We were instructed to meditate and find a good spot to stick our mall stones.  Then we all stood in a circle and held hands and listened to the Dumpy Ladies sing again, and do their little presenting to the four directions, and sing some more.  It was just as awkward the second time, if not more.

From there we proceeded down to a small meadow, where we received the "The Burning Times was our Holocaust" speech from Old Dumpy Lady.  She got so angry she actually got choked up about it.  That, right there, was the pinnacle of awkwardness, the very peak of an entire mountain of social discomfort.  Everything after that was just sad.

Young Dumpy Lady took us to the fairy shrine, where she announced that not only did she believe in fairies, but she had her own personal fairy guardian who kept an eye on her.  Too bad he never told her to wash her hair.  After that we all looked at each other in relief, thinking we could go, but no!  Instead we had to visit "St. Brigitte's Well", a stagnant, flagellate-infested pond surrounded by trees decorated with ribbons.  We were told that the ribbons were hung by wish-makers who totally got what they needed and, oh yeah, don't drink the water because you might die of shitting your intestines inside out.  I could barely hold my amusement at the thought of the goddess/saint of healing having a tainted well.  Oh well, work with what you have, right?

Finally, it was time to go.  We got sung at one more time, then piled into our bus and left with relief.  On the way back we stopped at the Mt. Horeb Mustard Museum, which made it all worthwhile.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2008, 07:16:14 pm by Rabid Badger of God »
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #223 on: June 14, 2008, 10:50:39 pm »
Wow, that was...  :lulz: "Mall stones"!
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.



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Cain

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Re: Hello, I am a Christian Discordian
« Reply #224 on: June 14, 2008, 11:10:07 pm »
You know what's really interesting?  If you bring up modern day witches being killed in Africa etc, most Wiccans shrug their shoulders and go "so?"  Apparently, not the right sort of witches.  Probably too black or something.  Not that I'm suggesting there is an undercurrent of racism in Neopaganism or anything
"The thoughts of all men arise from the darkness. If you are the movement of your soul, and the cause of that movement precedes you, then how could you ever call your thoughts your own? How could you be anything other than a slave to the darkness that comes before? Only the Logos allows one to mitigate that slavery. Only knowing the sources of thought and action allows us to own our thoughts and our actions, to throw off the yoke of circumstance."
- R. Scott Bakker, The Darkness That Comes Before