Author Topic: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants  (Read 8735 times)

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #30 on: November 30, 2007, 06:08:51 pm »
Yes yes yes I know and I agree with you… to an extent.

At some point I think it would be fine to stop experimenting pick an alteration, remove the filter, and do it.


I'm not sure what you mean here...

Quote

I think you may find that the filter is MUCH harder to remove then you would think.  Stupid filter.
OR at least it would be for me.  With all of my talk of insubstantial-ness I have to admit I am Stupidly grounded (NO bad word!) I am going to go with Repressed.  Repressed is a very specific version of grounded, like all jays are birds but not all birds are jays, you can be grounded (in the sense we discussed) without being repressed but if you are repressed you are probably at least grounded. 

Anyway… My mind tends to be stubborn, uncooperative, and dull at parties.  Especially when I am trying to make it do a trick! Or I am at a party.
Of course the second I am not trying to actively change it… bang I am a different person.

I know Freaking Dancing around the central idea…

I am just restating at this point
DANG IT

Bear with me though… I am just trying to work this out.

Ah… OK here is the motorcycle.  Or rather the question who’s answer may be the motorcycle…

How the Fuck did you get yourself to let go enough to invoke Therion.  Oh ya that’s it.

Honestly, it surprised me at the time. I was pretty unsure about the whole thing for awhile. However, after more experimentation I think there were several contributing factors. First, I have a wild imagination. Second, I spent the first 23 years of my life in a pretty tweaky religion and had regular meditation/visualization/prayer etc with ol' Jehovah. So I think my brain was already used to invocation, I just always did it third person with YHVH instead of first person. I've also studied method acting and really took to the concept of ritual (since much of my religious training was ritualized, even though they seem too blind to realize it). Also, the environment seemed important, both the ritual space and my headspace. At the time, I wasn't sure what was and wasn't real. I didn't know if this Crowley guy meant that these gods were really real (the way I had thought of Jehovah) or if they were archetypal, or imaginary or what. The group I did the ritual with were extremely competent, the main incense for example smelled very musky or animalistic, secondary scents they used were very fragrant and I think they invoked some memory of a place I had been to often as a child (the field, hill with the tree on the top). The words used to invoke Therion were long poetic descriptions of what he looked like, what his attributes were etc, which in describing made it easier to experience, I guess... like a guided meditation perhaps.

Maybe it was sorta like a lucid dream, where all of these words and smells and ideas gave flesh to the dream state... and maybe it was more like sleepwalking(well crawling) that I was doing... I dunno. I do think that it seems to have effected a permanent change to my personality, though. Before that experience I was still very trapped in my Black Iron Prison (I had no idea the bars were even there)... I'd left the JW's but still had the same philosophical leanings, the same moral taboos, the same concept of good and and and right and wrong. I had gone through a divorce about a year before and still had a lot of baggage from that as well... a lame suicide attempt or two and a complete destruction of any concept of faith or belief. It sucked hard.

However, either because my memory sticks it as a beginning, or the experience was really a new beginning, or whatever... I perceive that invocation as a point of major changes in myself. I went from a very conservative monogamist, that was strongly leaning still toward atheism and a nihilistic materialist view (and I tell ya, those two programs don't run well together) to the squirrel that I am today. Most of those changes really became obvious within weeks of that ritual, including my first orgy.

Or at least, that how it seems to me.
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

LadybirdJohnson

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #31 on: November 30, 2007, 06:48:14 pm »
SQUIRREL!!!  :argh!:

Eh, Orgies… just butts and elbows to me.   :?

In College I hung with some pretty crazy folk, most of which were discordian, we used to do crazy stuff… or rather I watched them do crazy stuff.  :oops:
I didn’t join in because it was wrong or anything like that… heck I did my share of cajoling and causing of orgies just when it came to the actual sex part I had a tendency to turn people to the closest warm body that wasn’t mine.  But for me I never felt safe; I had lost my virginity to a brutal rape and beating right before I met that crowd when I was 19 or so.  Feeling safe is important even if it is illusion.  Now I am at a point in my life where I could with out a doubt participate, but it doesn’t interest me anymore.  Don’t get me wrong… Sex for simple base physical pleasure is GREAT, but I am looking for More, weather with 1 or 9 people… I just think it would be easier to reach a more interesting level with one.  Recently actually sex started evoking emotions in me.  Which is great, but Seriously odd.  (In my recovery from my experience I spent along time in Robot fuck mode.)  Anyway, I started giggling and laughing with orgasms, or crying, or getting scared.  Quite a trip for me really.  Of course I am 28 and this is the A-typical time when sex becomes REALLY interesting for women anyway… but it is REALLY nice that I have gotten far enough already to be enjoying this Ripening as it were.

Eh.. hm.  Well hm in secoundary reading and thought... I am not sure that is something that was particularly appropriate.  I find that sometimes talking about something like that with strangers can really fuck them up as far as their perseption of you goes.  but I am going to leave it, only with the preface that Yes i mentioned it ... but lol I'm over it.  I just think that my contined evolution is interesting... thought it might be interesting to others.

Hm…
You know…
Just like with the orgies I have gotten people to those experiences, as acting high priestess… but never had a chance to actually do it myself.  Part because of ego… But I Method act a Great high Priestess, so it’s a natural role that I pick up in ritual.  Haha but I was such a fake.  Really that doesn’t matter what matters is if the ritual worked… and it did, so I helped a lot of people get to something new, or experience things that they reported to have really blown their minds.  So ha I thought Ya I got this shit down.  But… I didn’t really realize that I was decorative.  A breathing symbol but in the end only watching… not doing and certainly not learning anything new.  No that wasn’t true… I always knew what a fake I was.   :x

But that is why we have adolescents isn’t it?  :D
« Last Edit: November 30, 2007, 07:12:30 pm by LadybirdJohnson »

Nast

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #32 on: December 01, 2007, 03:36:13 am »


Eh.. hm.  Well hm in secoundary reading and thought... I am not sure that is something that was particularly appropriate.  I find that sometimes talking about something like that with strangers can really fuck them up as far as their perseption of you goes.  but I am going to leave it, only with the preface that Yes i mentioned it ... but lol I'm over it.  I just think that my contined evolution is interesting... thought it might be interesting to others.



So, uh, is this the point at which you're going to tell us that you're a furry?  :wink:
« Last Edit: December 01, 2007, 03:42:54 am by Pope Naughty Nasturtiums »
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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #33 on: December 01, 2007, 04:20:48 am »
1. "Dealing with emotions" is usually code for "accurately recognizing, experiencing, and expressing emotions in a mature and appropriate manner"
2. "Grounded" is usually code for "understands themselves and has a well-developed sense of their own reality to the degree that new experiences will be assimilated and not send them into a tailspin".
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #34 on: December 01, 2007, 05:16:13 am »
1. "Dealing with emotions" is usually code for "accurately recognizing, experiencing, and expressing emotions in a mature and appropriate manner"
2. "Grounded" is usually code for "understands themselves and has a well-developed sense of their own reality to the degree that new experiences will be assimilated and not send them into a tailspin".

That would appear as the correct motorcycle to me!
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #35 on: December 01, 2007, 05:19:05 am »
 :D I get cookie?
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #36 on: December 01, 2007, 05:43:06 am »
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #37 on: December 01, 2007, 06:43:30 pm »
*OM NOM NOM NOM*
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


rygD

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #38 on: December 01, 2007, 08:49:15 pm »
Those chocolate chips don't look right.
:rbtg:

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Triple Zero

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #39 on: December 04, 2007, 01:42:56 pm »
that's a jenkem-chip cookie.
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e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

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Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #40 on: December 04, 2007, 05:38:25 pm »
that's a jenkem-chip cookie.

Oh that made me sad a little bit.
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #41 on: December 04, 2007, 08:09:06 pm »
Lies.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


rygD

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #42 on: December 04, 2007, 10:56:33 pm »
Smells delicious.
:rbtg:

...nuke Iraq and give it to the Jews...

The Apex, The Harmony Of

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #43 on: December 16, 2007, 10:29:46 am »
You dont HAVE to do magick to change. Not everything will need a resolution through 'magick'. But it seems a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) technique for if you want extreme changes. Or just for fun. But then again even a small change called be called magick since small changes will eventually build up.
CBT (or Magick) seems pointless in some sense, because by the time you want to do it, you have to already be in a position to want it. Suffering from depression gets harder to cure as the person slowly falls into it more, precisely because they cant be bothered to get out of it. So paradoxically the person who needs Magick (CBT), never actually 'gets' it or uses it.

Cracking apart the previous map to paint outside the edges in childish crayola pastel, only to laugh in dazzlement at how badly you really did paint outside the last picture or map.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2007, 10:38:33 pm by The Apex, The Harmony Of »

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

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Re: I think I just Liber Boomeranged in my pants
« Reply #44 on: December 26, 2007, 05:20:35 pm »
You dont HAVE to do magick to change. Not everything will need a resolution through 'magick'. But it seems a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) technique for if you want extreme changes. Or just for fun. But then again even a small change called be called magick since small changes will eventually build up.
CBT (or Magick) seems pointless in some sense, because by the time you want to do it, you have to already be in a position to want it. Suffering from depression gets harder to cure as the person slowly falls into it more, precisely because they cant be bothered to get out of it. So paradoxically the person who needs Magick (CBT), never actually 'gets' it or uses it.

Cracking apart the previous map to paint outside the edges in childish crayola pastel, only to laugh in dazzlement at how badly you really did paint outside the last picture or map.


I think it greatly depends on the work and the changes you wish to make.

Magic or CBT seem less useful when dealing with situations like extreme depression or some psychological disorder... but they seem very useful in modifying aspects of an existing system. That is, let's say that a person has a real problem with constantly being late, constantly having problems standing up for themselves or perhaps they're having a hard time getting past some Dogma that was instilled in their head as a youth. It's this level of thing that magic seems most useful for. If you imagine demons and angels as aspects of our personality or consciousness, then magic is simply forcing those demons and angels to do our Will, and to utterly destroy those demons that won't comply.

Play with metaphor as you wish ;-)
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson