Author Topic: The Virus  (Read 1297 times)

chimes

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The Virus
« on: February 13, 2008, 05:00:03 am »
Seeing as I am still in my early noob phase, I dunno how this'll be recieved.
Totally free for you to steal and make better and print/use if you want.


EPIMETHEUSPEW (EPMS, or Eh, let me think Phor Myself, Schmuck!)
#1
DATE: 2.12.2008
TIME: 19.42
SUBJECT: The Virus


   I’ll try to be forthright.
   You’re dead. It’s not something you caused, but it is something you let happen. But it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Look at everyone around you. They’re probably dead (or, if lucky, just dying) too. It’s something that, to some degree, happens to everyone.
   I’m dead?, you ask. But I feel fine. Well, I don’t blame you. That’s how the virus works. Yes, I said it. It is the virus that has killed you. A virus? you say. Well, it must be benign. It’s not like everyone looks diseased.
        In fact, the virus is quite harmful. The very reason everyone doesn’t look diseased is because the virus makes it seem that way to you. The virus infects every person on Earth. It keeps an eye on you once you’re born, but can’t get in until that oh so special day… The day you start learning.
   When you start learning, you have officially been compressed by your parents (or guardians) into their reality tunnel. Pretty soon you mold your own, but it is only made of what you can glean off theirs. Finally the virus can get to you. The reality tunnel you have made is a direct passage for the virus to travel right into your brain.
        Then you start school, and the virus feeds, and feeds, and feeds. It has rooted itself in your brain even more. All it will do for most of your life is feed, and get stronger and stronger. Right now it is there inside you, waiting for more information to enter so it can devour every bit. As your eyes see this, it is the virus that reads it and interprets it, and decides what to do with it. Your cognitive process, memory, and even movements are controlled by the virus. Everything you hear people say, see people do, even smell, feel, and taste, pass through the virus for inspection before being let through into your brain. It has always been this way, and will continue till the day you die, unless you take action. Starting now.


(Followed by several Discordian memebombs of the think-for-yourself-schmuck flavor)

                                         I hope you know what to do.
                                         Good luck.

                                                     
« Last Edit: February 13, 2008, 02:26:46 pm by Epimetheus »
what is this kid talking about?

post-singularity pocket orgasm toad of righteousness

Kurt Christ

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2008, 05:37:39 am »
It needs more explanation of the actions you can take "starting now," though that might be what the Discordian quotes will be for.

Also, that seal is awesome. Where did you get it?
Formerly known as the Space Pope (then I was excommunicated), Father Kurt Christ (I was deemed unfit to raise children, spiritual or otherwise), and Vartox (the speedo was starting to chafe)

Your Mom

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2008, 06:46:38 am »
I guess my main criticism is that if you mean "institutionalized learning" then you should specify, because everyone starts learning from the moment they are born, and you can't really do anything about that.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Cramulus

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2008, 07:20:03 am »
 I hope you know what to do.
                                         Good luck,
                                                     Epimetheus
                                                     Your Friendly Neighborhood Discordian
                                                     


chimes

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2008, 02:25:31 pm »
I guess my main criticism is that if you mean "institutionalized learning" then you should specify, because everyone starts learning from the moment they are born, and you can't really do anything about that.

Exactly. When you start learning is when your reality tunnel is born.
what is this kid talking about?

post-singularity pocket orgasm toad of righteousness

chimes

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2008, 02:28:08 pm »
It needs more explanation of the actions you can take "starting now," though that might be what the Discordian quotes will be for.
Yeah, basically. In all reality I continued typing another paragraph but it didn't get anywhere, so I baleeted it.
Also, that seal is awesome. Where did you get it?
There.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2008, 02:32:24 pm by Epimetheus »
what is this kid talking about?

post-singularity pocket orgasm toad of righteousness

Your Mom

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2008, 05:05:39 pm »
I guess my main criticism is that if you mean "institutionalized learning" then you should specify, because everyone starts learning from the moment they are born, and you can't really do anything about that.

Exactly. When you start learning is when your reality tunnel is born.

So you are trying to imply that people should take control of what they learn? Good premise, essay needs reworking for impact and clarity.
For instance, "It keeps an eye on you once you’re born, but can’t get in until that oh so special day… The day you start learning." implies that learning begins at some date after you are born. Learning begins immediately; in fact, it begins at some point prior to birth, as  the near-birth fetus learns to recognize familiar sounds and reacts to stimuli.

Basically, nice start, keep working on it.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Jasper

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2008, 05:12:00 pm »
But we start learning even in the latest stages of pregnancy.  Consciousness all starts from the ground up, and only seems like consciousness to us at a certain point.  So we obviously cannot contract such a virus so much as evolve it within ourselves as a symbiote.

chimes

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2008, 05:51:41 pm »
I guess my main criticism is that if you mean "institutionalized learning" then you should specify, because everyone starts learning from the moment they are born, and you can't really do anything about that.

Exactly. When you start learning is when your reality tunnel is born.

So you are trying to imply that people should take control of what they learn? Good premise, essay needs reworking for impact and clarity.
For instance, "It keeps an eye on you once you’re born, but can’t get in until that oh so special day… The day you start learning." implies that learning begins at some date after you are born. Learning begins immediately; in fact, it begins at some point prior to birth, as  the near-birth fetus learns to recognize familiar sounds and reacts to stimuli.

Very true, I guess I meant the day when the parents start teaching the child; words and morals and stuff. Still, a reality tunnel is created as soon as the child starts learning, and I do mean to say as soon as it starts learning. But I think I meant to equate the virus with entering once the child is taught by others.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2008, 05:54:37 pm by Epimetheus »
what is this kid talking about?

post-singularity pocket orgasm toad of righteousness

Your Mom

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2008, 05:53:24 pm »
Agreed... so if what the OP really means is something other than "learning", he/she needs to revise the essay to reflect that. "receiving an education" perhaps? I am unclear on what he/she actually means, though, so any suggestions I make are just guesses.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Your Mom

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2008, 05:54:50 pm »
Very true, I guess I meant the day when the parents start teaching the child; words and morals and stuff.

Epimetheus, it seems to me that you yourself may not be very clear on the concept you are trying to convey; I would recommend that you start with that, and rework the essay when you're more sure of what you want it to mean.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

chimes

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2008, 06:00:32 pm »
Very true, I guess I meant the day when the parents start teaching the child; words and morals and stuff.

Epimetheus, it seems to me that you yourself may not be very clear on the concept you are trying to convey; I would recommend that you start with that, and rework the essay when you're more sure of what you want it to mean.

Well, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and however nonsensical my rants may be I like to leave them that way for whatever sense of preservation I like to have. Of course, I will modify it before actually using it on peoples.
what is this kid talking about?

post-singularity pocket orgasm toad of righteousness

Cramulus

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2008, 08:14:41 pm »
Very true, I guess I meant the day when the parents start teaching the child; words and morals and stuff.

Epimetheus, it seems to me that you yourself may not be very clear on the concept you are trying to convey; I would recommend that you start with that, and rework the essay when you're more sure of what you want it to mean.

Well, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and however nonsensical my rants may be I like to leave them that way for whatever sense of preservation I like to have. Of course, I will modify it before actually using it on peoples.


Don't get discouraged. You seem to have strong writing skills and I'm betting you can come up with some gems. Remember that you'll write a dozen pieces before you strike gold, and all this discussion and workshopping is part of the process.

don't stop a-rockin'.

Bharlion

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2008, 12:03:01 am »
That was gold! You made that up or did you find it.
Okay, why not. Didn't want to die alone anyways.

Jasper

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Re: The Virus
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2008, 12:17:00 am »
Heheh, yeah.  Who's the genius you're robbing blind?