You know Rev, you really come across like an insightful dude. We really don't take enough time around here to give you the credit you deserve.
So....oh, wow, I'm sorry if I'm a little awkward in asking this. I don't want to be too forward, but...
can I watch you, umm, well... jack off some time?
I mean, I'm totally cool with it if you don't want to, cuz it's kinda queer, but I really feel like it would be a real bonding experience. Really, I just can't get enough of seeing you bring yourself pleasure. It's a thing of beauty, and seeing someone of such intelligence and grace is truly it's own reward....
Thank you for your kind words and your interest. This is the type of inquiry I often receive on my own website, where I am the King of Everything and everybody loves and worships me.
Because I am asked this question so frequently, my agents have scheduled a showing. If you are interested in attending a public performance, you can get tickets to "Reverend Loveshade's 537 Ways of Self-Pleasuring," which is scheduled to go on an international tour in spring of 2009. Stops on our tour include Carnegie Hall in New York City, America; the National Centre for the Performing Arts in Beijing, China; the Kyoto Kaikan in Kyoto, Japan; the National Theatre of Korea in Seoul, South Korea; and the Théâtre des Champs-Elysées in Paris, France. Tickets will be available exclusively through Ticket Master beginning August 23 of this year.
If you were hoping for free tickets, please submit 250 words on the topic, "Why I want to see Reverend Loveshade self-pleasuring." Your entry will be entered in our contest with the winner announced on August 22. There is no entry fee, but the winner does agree to pay all applicable taxes.
Thank you once again for your interest, and Have a Nice Day.
Reverend "tongue planted firmly in cheeky" Loveshade