Author Topic: That story  (Read 4452 times)

The Right Reverend Nigel

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That story
« on: October 07, 2008, 02:17:09 am »
How about that story where the girl is in love with the guy, and has been for a long time, and he's basically her best friend except that they sleep together? Also it gets more complicated, but there's no real reason to go into that. It's complicated in the way everyone's lives are complicated, with divorces and kids and friends who don't know and damaged hearts and things that haven't been worked through yet and drinking problems and money problems and communication problems.

But in that story, which you already know because we all already know it, the girl is in love with the boy. The boy loves the girl but he isn't IN LOVE with her, for whatever reason, maybe because it's the wrong time or he's not over his ex or she's not the right girl. It doesn't matter. He's not cruel. He doesn't want anything to change because he likes it the way it is, the closeness and the friendship and even sometimes the sex. She likes it too. The sad part is that she likes it in a way that makes her feel like the only right and natural thing would be if he looked at her the way he used to look at his ex, which is also the way the girl looks at him. He avoids her eyes sometimes. The sad part is that she can feel in her little red fluttery meat heart how right it would be if they ate together, paid the mortgage together, slept together every night, were THAT THING for each other.

The sad part is that she knows she should cut it short, should walk away from the eyes that don't look at her that way and the hands that don't touch her that way, but she won't, because she loves him and she hopes that someday he will love her too, that way.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

saturnine

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Re: That story
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2008, 07:27:50 am »
Love makes us do stupid things to ourselves.

Nigel, is this fic or nonfic?
Jesus. I leave for like a year and a half, and when I come back, it's like everything's different. What the fuck is this board -- ACTIVE or somethin'?
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The Dark Monk

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Re: That story
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2008, 10:04:44 am »
The sad part was used 3 times. Reminds me of the emo poems in highschool.
In either case of fic or non fic, since the girl OR the guy didn't say what they truly wanted the relationship to be, they're to blame.
It would basically go down like this:
Girl: I want more!
Guy: I don't. This is it. This is all I want, if it changes, we can't do it anymore. (argh, I thought she understood)
Girl option A: Fuck you I thought we had something (sad emotion here)
Girl option B: I know it will never be more. I'll appreciate what I have until I move on. (Yet another sad emotion and lack of a sense of fulfillment)
Life goes on. People move on. Sore heart, heals, gets a small callous. Next relationship ensues.
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

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Re: That story
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2008, 10:13:27 am »
well Nigel, as a big fan of Hugh Grant (except in Notting Hill which sucked balls) and expert on Romantic Comedies In General,

the girl will pull through and THE BOY WILL FUCKING WAKE UP ONE DAY AND REALIZE WHAT HE HAS ALMOST THROWN AWAY AND WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO HIM IF IT WAS GONE FROM HIS LIFE AND THEN REALIZE THAT WHAT HE HAS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT HE MIGHT HAVE and everybody will live happily ever after.

or in a Reality Situation I've been in, the boy will own up some responsibility and decide it's really really not fair to do it this way, and it was really not very cool no matter how clear i've been about my intentions, but in the end i turned away completely instead and now she's happy with another boy (still is, i think) (and the fact that the girl was starting to act pretty creepy-like in the end helped a lot as well--thank you crazy girl i still wish you all the best)

oh and remember my LIFE SLOGAN (and i heard from LMNO it's his LIFE SLOGAN as well):

      Things have the tendency to turn out allright.

                  (it's really true)
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Abramelin

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Re: That story
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2008, 01:43:31 pm »
hmmm  :|

Nice written, Nigel.

I know the a very similiar story from my enviroment.

I'm wavering between the meaning of TheScarletReaper  and the one of 000...
The optimist inside me agrees to 000, but another voice in me remembers me that the similiar story I know now is going on for years, so TheScarletReaper is right maybe.

Voodoo

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Re: That story
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2008, 02:27:06 pm »
You know the part where the boy "wakes up" and sees what could be, what should be, and asks girl to marry him.  Of course, she says yes and the next year is a blur of wedding planning, wedding and newlyweddedness.

What follows is a montage of finishing school, getting jobs, buying house and car, all set to "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. 

Then one day when he comes home from work, "Guess what, I'm pregnant!"  Happiness and a pregnancy montage all set to [insert baby montage cliche song here].  Baby is born and is beautiful. 

All is well, credits roll.  Happily ever after.

A couple years later, girl notices that boy's eyes that don't look at her that way anymore and the hands that don't touch her that way anymore.  In fact she can't remember when the last time was they did.  She feels like she deserves better--there are guys she knows that DO look at her that way.  Boy has always known he didn't really feel that way, but he never really could walk away because he loves her (just not like that) and he hopes that is good enough. 

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Re: That story
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2008, 02:39:51 pm »
but i WANT the optimist side to be right! because girl DESERVES it.

but but but but but but maybe Voodoo is right ...
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Re: That story
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2008, 02:49:56 pm »
Nigel, this story really resonates with me. It sounds like my last serious relationship, which I don't think I'll ever be really fully over. I have no great wisdom.

My consolation was always the part where the girl uses all these feelings she has to be really creative--to write, to paint, to try to find other beautiful things in the world that she can enjoy and love as well, maybe going to museums, or learning photography, or learning to sew. It's not everything, but it's a start.
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Roo

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Re: That story
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2008, 03:14:42 pm »
The story doesn't have to end with her pining away, waiting for him to wake up. She might realize that all of what she has with him is not even close to how much she really wants in her life. She could decide that she actually deserves to be loved. To give, and receive in return. But the girl will have to discover on her own just how much she's worth. She needs to see her own value, and treat herself with the love she is giving away so freely.

Or not.

She could just pine away and waste years of her life waiting for him to love her.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2008, 03:21:29 pm by Roo »

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: That story
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2008, 06:28:23 pm »
It's basically just an emo blog post.

He's my best friend and also now my full-time studio manager, and I'm being good and not pursuing him because if I don't wake up in his bed three mornings a week I will probably start to be able to move on.

However, moving on for me is also an acceptance of being alone for a good long while, because for me, finding someone compatible is a rare proposition. But who knows, maybe someday.

000, I would love if the story ended your way... but in all honesty most likely what will happen will be that I'll stop sleeping with him and he'll get insecure and pursue me for a while, but eventually it will just taper off and we'll just be friends and I will eventually fall for someone else. Maybe.

Voodoo, your story might have been a possibility 15 years ago but at this point we have two houses and five kids between us, both of us have been married and don't want to get married again, we don't want MORE kids, and school is nowhere on the horizon.

For backstory, we met via a casual encounters ad a little over a year ago and have been fucking ever since. His wife had moved out and he was falling apart and is now putting himself back together, and my husband left me a couple of months ago so I am still in the falling-apart process. It is a terrible time to begin a new relationship, but this relationship isn't new. We weren't really SUPPOSED to get close in the beginning, that wasn't the idea, but we've become ridiculously close and our lives sort of revolve around each other so it's hard as hell to extricate. He even refers to us as "we" when he's talking about MY kids' school events and birthday parties.

He knows I'm in love with him (I told him in June, I think) but he really doesn't think it's a good time to redefine our relationship. And he's right. Also he's not in love with me. So that's that.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2008, 06:52:05 pm by Nigel »
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: That story
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2008, 06:36:27 pm »
The sad part was used 3 times. Reminds me of the emo poems in highschool.
In either case of fic or non fic, since the girl OR the guy didn't say what they truly wanted the relationship to be, they're to blame.
It would basically go down like this:
Girl: I want more!
Guy: I don't. This is it. This is all I want, if it changes, we can't do it anymore. (argh, I thought she understood)
Girl option A: Fuck you I thought we had something (sad emotion here)
Girl option B: I know it will never be more. I'll appreciate what I have until I move on. (Yet another sad emotion and lack of a sense of fulfillment)
Life goes on. People move on. Sore heart, heals, gets a small callous. Next relationship ensues.


Pardon me for using repetition as a writing device, which I can assure you dates to before your time in high school. I will resist my temptation to call you terrible cruel names, and instead point out that there is no reason to be condescending. I have had my heart broken a few times and the reason I'm being all "emo" (cute how you kids use that word for everything nowadays!) about it is because I do not very much enjoy the experience. I am currently also trying to process the end of a six-year marriage, so it's all a bit overwhelming.

In conclusion, choke on a donkey cock and die. :) Thanx!
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: That story
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2008, 06:43:41 pm »
Love makes us do stupid things to ourselves.

Best post in this thread.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

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Re: That story
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2008, 06:47:27 pm »
Nigel, if you don't want the possibility someone will mock your poetry...



I don't think I have to finish that.
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The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: That story
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2008, 06:53:09 pm »
Nigel, if you don't want the possibility someone will mock your poetry...



I don't think I have to finish that.

That's a given. It is also a given that if I don't like the way it's done I will eat their soul.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Abramelin

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Re: That story
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2008, 07:20:26 pm »
does someone have a solution?  :lol: :?

but i WANT the optimist side to be right! because girl DESERVES it.

but but but but but but maybe Voodoo is right ...

I agree.
Question is whats better: Voodoos way and maybe have at least for a while a good time, or better to step apart after checking that the meaning of the boy is really the one the girl thinks?