Author Topic: How to make what I had for dinner  (Read 2933 times)

tyrannosaurus vex

  • a gas giant of idiots
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 26967
    • View Profile
How to make what I had for dinner
« on: October 23, 2008, 06:45:56 am »
Ingredients:
1 chicken breast, frozen.
1 handful of spaghetti
1 jar of alfredo pasta sauce
some nearly-expired spinach leaves
some frozen vegetables

First, try to defrost the chicken using your microwave's "Defrost" setting. When that fails, get pissed off and set it to nuke for 2 minutes on 100% power.

Meanwhile, distract yourself with guessing how much spaghetti you need. Do not use a spaghetti serving measurer thing, which would be cheating. Start spaghetti cooking in cold water.

Notice that the chicken has become half-cooked in the microwave, and remove it. Start frying it in a pan for no apparent reason. Some people recommend you chop up the chicken pieces before you start frying it. Those people are wrong. Find something to season it with, it doesn't matter what. I used steak seasoning. Be sure to apply the seasoning after the chicken is at least halfway done, otherwise the flavor might stay in the chicken.

Dump spinach leaves into the pot along with the cooking spaghetti. Take care to use just enough spinach to add color, but not flavor. Add some kind of oil (preferably edible) to pasta water, liberally.

When the spaghetti is done, strain it and put it in some kind of container. Dump the entire jar of alfredo sauce in and mix it up. Allow it to cool while the chicken gets done, which would already be done except you put the heat on too low.

When the chicken is done, toss it into the mix. Taste. Decide it needs something else. Check the cupboards and find nothing. Find frozen vegetables in the freezer. Nuke the holy Jesus out of them for like 10 minutes, then throw them in there too.

Serve.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2008, 06:47:45 am by vexati0n »
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Jasper

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 67367
  • Pull-Start Enema Wasteland
    • View Profile
Re: How to make what I had for dinner
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2008, 06:54:24 am »
 :cry:

East Coast Hustle

  • Missile Command
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 46213
  • Omnimalevolent Polyfather of Exsanguination in Red
    • View Profile
Re: How to make what I had for dinner
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2008, 11:47:45 am »
Add some kind of oil (preferably edible) to pasta water, liberally.

YOU WILL BURN FOR YOUR CULINARY APOSTASY!
\
 :hashishim:
« Last Edit: October 23, 2008, 11:56:36 am by East Coast Hustle »
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Richter

  • Razor-Sharp Rattan Surgical Tool Sharpener™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 101132
  • Right Coast Deacon of Self-Contamination
    • View Profile
Re: How to make what I had for dinner
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2008, 12:03:10 pm »
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Jasper

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 67367
  • Pull-Start Enema Wasteland
    • View Profile
Re: How to make what I had for dinner
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2008, 05:45:39 pm »
Add some kind of oil (preferably edible) to pasta water, liberally.

YOU WILL BURN FOR YOUR CULINARY APOSTASY!
\
 :hashishim:

Take pity on him, he actually ate it.

Cainad (dec.)

  • Houseplant Supreme
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 93609
  • The Emperor's Hairy Right Hand
    • View Profile
    • Internet Forum Safari
Re: How to make what I had for dinner
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2008, 07:55:25 pm »
 :lulz: