Author Topic: Sorry I'm late  (Read 4840 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Sorry I'm late
« Reply #15 on: October 29, 2008, 12:39:47 am »
Maybe I'll end up sorry I wasn't later.

This.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

And

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Re: Sorry I'm late
« Reply #16 on: October 29, 2008, 01:12:00 am »
I'd love to participate in any and all projects that I will participate in.  That being said, I refuse to physically harm anyone, because I'm a wimp and someone bigger should do it.  I hereby suggest a name for a project that I haven't actually figured out the purpose of, that being "Project Chauncey Peppertooth", or PCP.

My battalion will arive over the course of the next eight years, the best way to identify a member is if they're the type of person that can figure out calculus before algebra, or backflips before walking.  In other words, if you see someone backflipping down the street while working out the Mean Value Theorem out loud, send them to me.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Sorry I'm late
« Reply #17 on: October 29, 2008, 02:03:29 am »
I'd love to participate in any and all projects that I will participate in.  That being said, I refuse to physically harm anyone, because I'm a wimp and someone bigger should do it.  I hereby suggest a name for a project that I haven't actually figured out the purpose of, that being "Project Chauncey Peppertooth", or PCP.

My battalion will arive over the course of the next eight years, the best way to identify a member is if they're the type of person that can figure out calculus before algebra, or backflips before walking.  In other words, if you see someone backflipping down the street while working out the Mean Value Theorem out loud, send them to me.

In case you're interested, I have a FASCINATING intestinal issue going on here.  I am outgassing like a CHAMP!  I swear to fucking God, I just farted IN COLOR!  And the last time I took a healthy shit?  Don't get me started.  I may need a new toilet.  I'm fairly certain I shat MY OWN BODY WEIGHT. 

It was one of those things, you know, like silence for the first 10 seconds or so, but then the powerful, thunderous farts start.  The volume of these rat-a-tat farts is incredible, along the lines of elk antlers clashing or a large tree cracking as it is felled.  There are rumors (unconfirmed) that local police have recorded these airbeefs at 103db.  Of course splattering sounds accompany these inhuman shit/air rumblings, and occasional a large volume of water/shit is heard to be splashed out on the floor.  The end of the BM is usually about a 45-second high pitch whiner fart, followed by 4 or 5 successive powershit deposits.  If you could put shit in those T-shirt cannons they use at sports arenas, and then shoot the shit into water at close range, then you could reproduce these splash sounds.  BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM.  You actually feel bad for the toilet after this.  All the while I sing Opera in response to exceptionally disgusting discharges.  The end of the experience is a muffled rubbing sound as I wipe with bath towels, and the occasional slapping sound as I swat the soiled towels against the bathroom wall, creating messes that populate Arizona lore regarding nightmare public restroom experiences.



" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jenne

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Re: Sorry I'm late
« Reply #18 on: October 29, 2008, 02:32:27 am »
Quote from: TGRR
In case you're interested, I have a FASCINATING intestinal issue going on here.  I am outgassing like a CHAMP!  I swear to fucking God, I just farted IN COLOR!  And the last time I took a healthy shit?  Don't get me started.  I may need a new toilet.  I'm fairly certain I shat MY OWN BODY WEIGHT. 

It was one of those things, you know, like silence for the first 10 seconds or so, but then the powerful, thunderous farts start.  The volume of these rat-a-tat farts is incredible, along the lines of elk antlers clashing or a large tree cracking as it is felled.  There are rumors (unconfirmed) that local police have recorded these airbeefs at 103db.  Of course splattering sounds accompany these inhuman shit/air rumblings, and occasional a large volume of water/shit is heard to be splashed out on the floor.  The end of the BM is usually about a 45-second high pitch whiner fart, followed by 4 or 5 successive powershit deposits.  If you could put shit in those T-shirt cannons they use at sports arenas, and then shoot the shit into water at close range, then you could reproduce these splash sounds.  BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM.  You actually feel bad for the toilet after this.  All the while I sing Opera in response to exceptionally disgusting discharges.  The end of the experience is a muffled rubbing sound as I wipe with bath towels, and the occasional slapping sound as I swat the soiled towels against the bathroom wall, creating messes that populate Arizona lore regarding nightmare public restroom experiences.
:lulz:  :potd:

And

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Re: Sorry I'm late
« Reply #19 on: October 29, 2008, 04:06:28 am »
:lulz:  :potd:
Yeah I haven't even come up with a good reply to this.  I'm waiting until the hangover wears off.

The Dark Monk

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Re: Sorry I'm late
« Reply #20 on: October 29, 2008, 09:50:44 am »
The shotgun shits strike again!
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

AFK

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Re: Sorry I'm late
« Reply #21 on: October 29, 2008, 12:54:07 pm »
wait, what? 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.