Author Topic: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass  (Read 4158 times)

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104993
    • View Profile
FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« on: November 21, 2008, 02:19:55 pm »
They even have legal advisors now, so when they get captured by various navies they can demand the rights they are afforded by the law, such as phone calls to relatives.  According to the Brits, they also make sterling prisoners when captured, and are really very nice chaps, chosen profession aside.

Payne

  • Bowel-Shattering Deathbag of Monstrously Amorous Intent
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 88413
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2008, 02:23:55 pm »
Michael Howard on the Daily Politics on Wednesday said that the only solution to the Somali piracy problem was to fill the entire area with navies from around the world.

Forgetting, presumably, that a blockade wouldn't actually harm them, because they aren't trying to keep trade going (lol) or escape anywhere. And no matter how many ships you have patrolling there, they'll still be able to move pretty much completely freely.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104993
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2008, 02:49:11 pm »
Michael Howard is an asswipe.

We should be offering to aid the Somali pirates, for a cut of the profits and immunity for our own vessels or those intended for our ports.

Cramulus

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 130574
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2008, 02:51:01 pm »
Yo, the way the job market is around here, I'm seriously considering tying on a bandanna and setting sail for adventure!

Malachite

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 16076
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2008, 02:52:16 pm »
Michael Howard is an asswipe.

We should be offering to aid the Somali pirates, for a cut of the profits and immunity for our own vessels or those intended for our ports.

Just like the good old days.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104993
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2008, 02:57:12 pm »
Michael Howard is an asswipe.

We should be offering to aid the Somali pirates, for a cut of the profits and immunity for our own vessels or those intended for our ports.

Just like the good old days.

Exactly.  And Howard, being a Conservative, should be in favour of the old way of doing things.  All the time.  Even if they don't make sense.

Shadowdaemon

  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 1611
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2008, 12:37:31 am »
Yo, the way the job market is around here, I'm seriously considering tying on a bandanna and setting sail for adventure!
If you get in good call me up. I'm in the market for a job too.
Prisons are for those who cannot exist without preying on others.

Murderers, rapists, thieves, and Halliburton execs. 

Potheads?  Meh.  All they do is sit on the couch, eating Cheetohs.

The Bible sucks hairy goat balls.  Awful writing, boring plot, nothing of interest whatsoever.  "Elia who begat Noah who begat Adam who begat Joesph who begat NO-ONE GIVES A FUCKING SHIT, THATS WHO."

Emo Howard

  • Anti-Neanderthal-Defamation-Social-Justice-Warrior
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 32247
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2008, 03:07:09 am »
We should bring back train robbery.

Rumckle

  • Made damn sure he
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 24739
  • Roaring bowel of the Discordiosphere
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2008, 04:35:56 am »
According to the Brits, they also make sterling prisoners when captured, and are really very nice chaps, chosen profession aside.

I originally read this as: they also are sterilising prisoners when captured,

Also, I read today that some members of the Shabaab militia are heading towards Somalia, though the article wasn't sure if it was to help or hinder the Somalians. Anyone know more?
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104993
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2008, 09:53:55 am »
Probably not help.  They're remnants of the Islamic Courts who, funnily enough, are the only guys in Somalia right now that are crazy enough to want to rebuild the state.  I suspect they're wanting to kick ass, take names and reappropriate ships for their newly captured port (Marka).

Of course, the wonderful thing about Somali politics, insomuch as such a thing exists, is that its not 100% sure.  Islam has rules about raiding, dating back to Mohammed's time, but its not totally against the activity, so long as it is carried out within those rules.  Plus, those pirates really are making a nusciance of themselves, whether its to the hypocrites in the House of Saud or the Americans and British.

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

  • Probably
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 8974
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2008, 05:26:47 pm »
The interview with NPR was interesting, both a pirate and the ship's captain from the Sirius Star (OMGZ23PINEALFNORDLOL). The pirate basically said that they have no choice because their government is a complete waste and that if the developed nations would do something about the situation in Somila, they wouldn't need to be pirates.

It reminds me of the Buccaneers of the US. Originally, they weren't pirates. They were people trying to survive in the Caribbean. In fact the term Buccaneer referenced the making of jerky which these guys did to survive on the islands. It was only once the European nations started squeezing their means of survival that they resorted to Piracy.



- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104993
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2008, 05:31:32 pm »
That doesn't surprise me.  Crime is a growth market in the third world.  Invest now!

Telarus

  • Fictional Ego
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 12309
  • Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #12 on: November 24, 2008, 06:10:19 pm »
JohnnyBrainwash usually has very good coverage of the pirate situations, Somali and elsewhere, over @ http://www.dysnomia.us.

Quote from: 'dysnomia.us'
...
Mix tapes aside, thereís not much to tie piracy and terrorism. Sure, terrorists could turn pirate and seize tankers full of liquefied natural gas. But they could also plant dirty bombs, poison water supplies, gas subways, whatever. We can imagine an endless stream of potential terrorist tactics, but just imagining it doesnít make it a real threat.

The other angle people play up is that Somali pirates could be supporting Islamist militants who are on the verge of re-taking power in Somalia. The militants themselves are said to provide shelter for Al Qaeda, and maybe they do- Iíd consider Somalia a good place to hole up if I were an AQ operative on the run. The militants themselves donít practice terrorism for the most part, being more concerned with traditional military objectives like seizing territory. But in American policy debate, they all tend to get lumped in together.

Thereís not much to indicate that the pirates support the Islamic militants with their booty. In fact, most of the stories we see about the pirateís life make it look like theyíre sinking their money into houses, cars, GPS units and cell phones. Whatís more, evidence on the ground indicates otherwise as well.

Iíve talked about this before, and the Danger Room hits the topic again: when those Islamist militants were in power, they were the only force to effectively suppress piracy in the region. The brief period of law and order imposed by Somaliaís short-lived Islamic government was the only time that the Somali coast came under the rule of law. As soon as Ethiopian troops drove that government from Mogadishu (with US backing, of course), piracy didnít just return- it redoubled.

For what itís worth, Somali pirates donít have their roots in madrassas or terror camps- they come from fishing communities that were swamped by foreign ships as soon as there was no authority to defend Somaliaís economic sphere. With overfishing allegedly came illegal dumping as well. The excellent video embedded in the Danger Room post above and this article in the Christian Science Monitor lay it all out.

I started posting stories about pirates because it was a fun little thing that played into my theme of lawlessness, but I quickly realized that it fit into my particular niche of nerdom very nicely. It carries a deeper level of lawlessness that reflects the breakdown of the international order and the failure of the nation-state.

Somalia has had no effective government since 1991 or so, except for a brief period of rule by the Islamic Courts. During that period, Somalis had some semblance of peace. Piracy was largely halted. The price, of course, was to live under strict Sharia law.

If youíve ever smugly quoted Ben Franklin to the effect that those who give up essential liberty to achieve temporary security deserve neither, I hope youíll give some thought to Somalia. I intend to post on this question at greater length in the future, but it represents perfectly the conflict embedded in that famous quote. Somalis stare into the darkest aspect of this question every day, and if the international system wants to end piracy and restore order in Somalia, itís going to have to face the same tough conflict as well.
...

And here's an article detailing the use of direct-targeted sonic weapons to repulse Somali pirates:
http://www.physorg.com/news146486516.html
Telarus, KSC,
.__.  Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Zenarchist Swordsman,
(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
/||\   Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal

Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104993
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2008, 06:15:35 pm »
He's right.  Piracy only really comes under the rubric of terrorism because its non-state actors with significant geopolitical implications.  In actuality, its more like organized crime, if you have to pigeon hole it into something.  Of course, there is a lot of operational crossover between terrorism, organized crime and insurgency (my dissertation dealt in part with this topic), and many of the same sort of actor move through all three at some point in their career, but its not a simple case that piracy = Islamofascist lunatics who are gonna impose Shariah Law on YOUR ASS.

I think the other reason lots of people conflate piracy with terrorism is because of the Barbary Pirates, and their role both in history and national mythology.

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

  • Probably
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 8974
    • View Profile
Re: FACT: Somali pirates are kicking ass
« Reply #14 on: November 24, 2008, 06:18:06 pm »
So I'd say that we could consider the Somalian coast a Temporary Autonomous Zone now.
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson