Author Topic: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?  (Read 5853 times)

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ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« on: October 27, 2009, 09:37:44 pm »
When did money become more important than happiness? I made a considerable amount of money when I worked for Walgreen's, the only happiness it brought me was that I was able to afford my habits, drinking, smoking, morphine. That last one is a vice that I was never able to rid myself of. Is it wrong to also admit that I actually enjoyed being in a drug induced haze? "It's bad for you." So is fast food, sunlight, tainted water, breathing exhaust fumes! For god's sake its even bad for you to exercise too much! Why when a drug addict overdoses on, say, cocaine and has a heart attack that its such a sin, but when some fat fuck over eats McDonalds and dies of a heart attack that its such a tragedy?! Since when does it make more sense that a drug addict has any more control over his/her actions than a fatty? At some point in time, I had read that addiction is a disease. What happened to that? Just because I want to gorge myself on morphine and block out my reality it makes me selfish? And if that's any better, doctors even treat patients different. A fat person comes in with shortness of breath and they take wonderful care of them, make sure that they are comfortable etc. But I walked into a hospital emergency room and told the receptionist, "I just took 26 klonopin and I was advised by poison control to come to a hospital." They didn't do much at all. They stuck me with needles made me take a piss test to CONFIRM, mind you, that I was drugged out, and then left me in the ER for eight hours then shoved me into a behavioral health facility...
I'm ranting now.
The fucking nurses that stuck me with needles kept missing my goddamn veins. But I knew that they were just trying to make me suffer through this, try to teach me a goddamn lesson. What do they do to the fat people? Give them a new diet and send them on their merry way. They don't stick a fat person in rehab because they gorged themselves on cheeseburgers and had cardiac failure, NO!!! they only send them there when they try to kill themselves because of HOW FAT THEY GOT!!!!!!
I am now red faced and angry...just from typing this out. It was three years in August when I OD'ed on Klonopin. Two miserable years of them trying to medicate me, diagnosing me as bipolar, and making me sit through fucking sessions with a doctor who TRULY did not care whether I killed myself...They were only there because they couldn't find anything better, jobwise, in a town that has more homeless people per capita than there are fish in the sea.
The joys of the Arizona Health Care Cost Containment System. They have free healthcare, but you have to jump through hoops, to prove that you are underpaid, unemployed, broke, or downright homeless! If we weren't pouring all of our resources into fucking idiotic projects such as a new freeway or into making more speedtraps to catch speeders! Don't you think that our priorities are a little out of order?
Where the hell did that letter go?
Its all anger, thats all I can say. The terrible thing right now is that I'm fantasizing about busting my knuckles on a wall just so I can use it as an excuse to 1. get painkillers, and 2. feel something other than the pounding waves of depression against the inside of my skull and 3. so I have an excuse to be gone for hours on end with out telling anyone. Now who's priorities are fucked up?
Did I lose you?
I lost myself.
The problem with me? I hold onto things, I hold grudges...

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2009, 09:50:30 pm »
Pardon my use of the "f" word so many times. Angry letters... and such.

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2009, 10:32:23 pm »
I don't really feel sorry for druggies OR obese people.

Druggies, as a rule, are more dangerous, though, as in more likely to steal your shit or hurt you.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2009, 11:24:04 pm »
Nivek,

Unfortunately, the people you advocate have the wrong values, and don't believe in the basic goodness of the Free Market.   You see, grinding poverty, shitty diets, and drug addiction are all matters of personal responsibility, and if we "helped" these people, they'd have no incentive to not die in various awful ways.

The Free Market loves you, Nivek, and it wants you to be happy.   It's just your bad attitude that keeps you from having all those wonderful things you see on TV...You just don't BELIEVE enough.  Neither do the unfortunates that you refer to.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
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 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2009, 02:56:30 am »
Nivek,

Unfortunately, the people you advocate have the wrong values, and don't believe in the basic goodness of the Free Market.   You see, grinding poverty, shitty diets, and drug addiction are all matters of personal responsibility, and if we "helped" these people, they'd have no incentive to not die in various awful ways.

The Free Market loves you, Nivek, and it wants you to be happy.   It's just your bad attitude that keeps you from having all those wonderful things you see on TV...You just don't BELIEVE enough.  Neither do the unfortunates that you refer to.

So, in other words the "Curlies" of society are the ones that are being tossed aside, wanting to have a "good time" by means of mutilating themselves i.e. drinking, eating delicious food, etc means being tossed aside for the sake of the "greater good." Now, pardon me I'm coming down from my caffiene high and need to inject myself with more coffee before i crash...

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2009, 03:13:41 am »
I don't really feel sorry for druggies OR obese people.

Druggies, as a rule, are more dangerous, though, as in more likely to steal your shit or hurt you.

I don't advocate drug use in extremes, I have dealt with the ones that stole my shit. The one thing that people turn a blind eye to is that it can be treated as much as a disease can. I understand where your coming from though, and the majority of drug users I don't sympathize with at all. Thanks for you input though.

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2009, 03:25:26 am »
Ok, this thing seriously got to me.

Having a friend who suffers from Heroin Addiction, I know exactly what you mean.

It's fucked up how they treat people that should be considered patients, people who need help, not to be brushed under the rug with the hope that people won't notice.

And yes, while some drug addicts are fucked up and steal shit... some people will never compromise their morals no matter how addicted they are, and they get treated as badly as those that will and do.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order is you!

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2009, 03:41:34 am »
Ok, this thing seriously got to me.

Having a friend who suffers from Heroin Addiction, I know exactly what you mean.

It's fucked up how they treat people that should be considered patients, people who need help, not to be brushed under the rug with the hope that people won't notice.

And yes, while some drug addicts are fucked up and steal shit... some people will never compromise their morals no matter how addicted they are, and they get treated as badly as those that will and do.

Thank you. You got the point of the rant completely. I wish the best for your friend by the way. Its difficult battling something so highly addictive and keeping people around you that will actually support through the ordeal. Most people view it as weakness and as a loss and they write them off completely.

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2009, 11:21:27 am »
I consider myself a drug user.  Fortunately although I have an addictive personality it has never settled on one medium.  I can be addicted to the internet for a while, to marijuana for a while, acohol for a while, something hard another while.  I don't consider myself an addict because it is never one of them for very long.  I think i have sympathy for the majority of drug users.  most of them just want a little something to take the edge off of a day.

I also know that if I had been asked to sit, after a few hours I would ask if treatment was required, and then I would have left.  If all you need is 8 hours of sitting, well hell, might as well go home and sit somewhere you can enjoy the klonapin (if there is anything enjoyable about it.  i have not tried that particular pill.)

I also wouldn't call poison control again, as I would feel they had lied to me.  As may be obvious, I don't have much respect for authorities.  (also not fond of hospitals)

The fat man with the heart attack gets more attention, because he is dying.  If he came in to tell them he had eaten too much cake, they would make him sit, and then probably send him to a behavioral specialist.  If Klonapin can give you a heart attack, and if it did, then you would also receive rather prompt attention I imagine.
You're a special case, Babylon.  You are offensive even when you don't post.

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2009, 01:45:39 pm »
Nivek,

Unfortunately, the people you advocate have the wrong values, and don't believe in the basic goodness of the Free Market.   You see, grinding poverty, shitty diets, and drug addiction are all matters of personal responsibility, and if we "helped" these people, they'd have no incentive to not die in various awful ways.

The Free Market loves you, Nivek, and it wants you to be happy.   It's just your bad attitude that keeps you from having all those wonderful things you see on TV...You just don't BELIEVE enough.  Neither do the unfortunates that you refer to.

So, in other words the "Curlies" of society are the ones that are being tossed aside, wanting to have a "good time" by means of mutilating themselves i.e. drinking, eating delicious food, etc means being tossed aside for the sake of the "greater good." Now, pardon me I'm coming down from my caffiene high and need to inject myself with more coffee before i crash...

No, Curly was dealt with because be believed the wrong things.  He had the wrong values, they say, and he laughed at all the wrong jokes.  He was a danger to the American Way.  There was really no choice.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2009, 07:10:08 pm »
Ok, this thing seriously got to me.

Having a friend who suffers from Heroin Addiction, I know exactly what you mean.

It's fucked up how they treat people that should be considered patients, people who need help, not to be brushed under the rug with the hope that people won't notice.

And yes, while some drug addicts are fucked up and steal shit... some people will never compromise their morals no matter how addicted they are, and they get treated as badly as those that will and do.

Thank you. You got the point of the rant completely. I wish the best for your friend by the way. Its difficult battling something so highly addictive and keeping people around you that will actually support through the ordeal. Most people view it as weakness and as a loss and they write them off completely.

I was married to a heroin addict. Sometime "writing people off" is simply pure self-preservation. I still pity him, but I want nothing to do with him because he was a bad person for me to be around, and he consistently made bad choices that made his life worse. Perhaps he didn't know how to do any different, but that doesn't make me respect him.

I don't hate drug addicts any more than I hate fat people, but outside of my romantic life I have a pretty good spidey-sense for when people are going to be bad for me, and I disentangle.

I'm not anti-drugs, either, by any means, but I have repeatedly seen people make bad choices that led them down a road to destructive addiction, and I don't want people who make those kinds of bad decisions in my life because it WILL effect my quality of life, my stress level, and my ability to provide a healthy environment for my kids. Self-preservation.

I do have to say that when my friend had a bad reaction to Amanita Muscaria, the hospital staff were very nice to us. If she did it a second time, I wouldn't expect them to be quite so nice.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #11 on: October 28, 2009, 07:11:57 pm »
Sometime "writing people off" is simply pure self-preservation.

Pure fact.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #12 on: October 28, 2009, 07:16:52 pm »

The fat man with the heart attack gets more attention, because he is dying.  If he came in to tell them he had eaten too much cake, they would make him sit, and then probably send him to a behavioral specialist.  If Klonapin can give you a heart attack, and if it did, then you would also receive rather prompt attention I imagine.

This.

Also, Nivek, you took 26 Klonopin, of your own volition, and you're angry that they... what? Didn't give you the attention you thought you deserved? What the fuck is a reasonable person supposed to do when presented with a young woman who has swallowed TWENTY-SIX Klonopin? I know what I would do. I would check your blood levels, I would tell you to sit your dumb ass down while I looked up whether you were gonna die, and if you didn't actually require physical treatment I'd call mental health and see if I could get you some mental treatment, because young lady, that there is a psychological problem.

The fact that you're mad... red-faced, shaking mad... that you didn't get enough attention kind of spells it all out, don't you think?
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #13 on: October 28, 2009, 07:24:55 pm »

The fat man with the heart attack gets more attention, because he is dying.  If he came in to tell them he had eaten too much cake, they would make him sit, and then probably send him to a behavioral specialist.  If Klonapin can give you a heart attack, and if it did, then you would also receive rather prompt attention I imagine.

This.

Also, Nivek, you took 26 Klonopin, of your own volition, and you're angry that they... what? Didn't give you the attention you thought you deserved? What the fuck is a reasonable person supposed to do when presented with a young woman who has swallowed TWENTY-SIX Klonopin? I know what I would do. I would check your blood levels, I would tell you to sit your dumb ass down while I looked up whether you were gonna die, and if you didn't actually require physical treatment I'd call mental health and see if I could get you some mental treatment, because young lady, that there is a psychological problem.

The fact that you're mad... red-faced, shaking mad... that you didn't get enough attention kind of spells it all out, don't you think?


A couple of minor notes:

1.  Nobody in Tucson is reasonable.  Even the doctors and cops and EMTs are nuts.  Not shitting you about this.  The EMTs that drove me to the hospital last go-round were like manic Gahan Wilson characters.

2.  Nivek is young now, was younger then, and is thus licensed to do Dumb Things.  Also, she lives in Tucson, and is thus as about as reasonable as anyone else here.  Yours truly included.  Suicide is an art form in Tucson.  So is sniping.  They are simply art forms that I do not practice, and thankfully no longer does Nivek.  Well, the suicide one, anyway.  Who the fuck knows if she's been sniping?  Not me.  I never ask what the hell she's doing on that overpass.  It would be nosy.  Rude.

3.  I took it as a rant about the incompetence of the doctors and the level of medical attention, rather than oohing and ahhing about the poor dear in their waiting room, but I will re-read it, because I may have read it wrong.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: ATTN: Roger, what the hell goes through these people's heads?
« Reply #14 on: October 28, 2009, 07:34:30 pm »
Okay, re-read it, and I think we both read it wrong.

It was the level of personal attention, like you thought, but not that she didn't get it, but that the two behaviors are essentially the same, but are treated differently.

I can't see any difference between killing yourself with pills because you're unable to deal, and killing yourself through willful negligence by eating fast food until you need one of those Rascal Scooters to haul your bulk from the car to the WalMart.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.