Author Topic: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills  (Read 5301 times)

Cainad (dec.)

  • Houseplant Supreme
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 93165
  • The Emperor's Hairy Right Hand
    • View Profile
    • Internet Forum Safari
The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« on: November 08, 2009, 08:09:03 pm »
There are worms in my brain. I don't know when exactly they got in there, but they've been there for quite some time now. My thoughts flow through the tunnels the worms have burrowed through my gray matter, and they themselves sometimes carry my thoughts around. But these worms are not very efficient for my purposes, partly because they squirm around randomly and partly because they have no goal in mind towards which to work efficiently.

Of course they have nothing in mind, they're worms, damn it! They are what's in my mind; pay attention to the metaphor!

Anyway, the workings of the worms are not conducive to getting things done. Trying to direct them so that my thoughts flow smoothly and directly towards a certain goal is like, well, it's like trying to herd a bunch of damn worms. They don't pay attention to anything but wriggling and burrowing. But that's what the pills are for, these little blue pills.

The pills do something I've never been able to do: they force the worms to line up in neat little rows and march in time to the tune of whatever goals I set. How worms can be made to march without feet I don't know, but they're marching all right. In spit-shined jackboots, no less. With the pills controlling the worms, I become a machine. A powerful, efficient machine that runs smoothly as a dream on lubricated bearings. The pounding march of the worms makes sure the trains of my thought all run on time, and the jackboots stamp out errant or unwanted thoughts with hardly a sound. For a few hours, everything runs better than ever before, better than it should. For a few hours, I am effective. Then the pills wear off.

When the pills start to wear off, I can't keep the worms in line anymore. But the damning thing is that they keep on marching around in jackboots. With no more rhyme or reason guiding them they stomp all around my brain, trampling everything and my trains of thought go flying off the tracks. I become the machine with half of its bearings taken out, rattling and screeching, performing its tasks with grinding, noisy hesitancy. Everything inside and outside my head becomes a disordered mess and I know that at any moment I might truly begin to laugh and laugh and laugh until I realize I'm screaming.

Finally, the jackbooted feet the worms never had in the first place wear off and they go back to wriggling and burrowing. I am no longer the machine, and I can rest until I need to be effective again.

Elder Iptuous

  • Professional Discordian and Physiognomist
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 56216
  • terribly tedious
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2009, 08:25:23 pm »
I like the metaphor
:mittens:

zoloft 50mg?

when i had my teenage angst years and decided my parents faith wasn't for me and was left with an existential crisis that made me all mopey, they sent me to a shrink who sent me to a mindbender who gave me the little green/white pills (prozac 20mg), and then gave me the little yellow pills (zoloft 100mg).
I didn't trust those things to mess with my synapses (knowing full well that my problem wasn't some chemical imbalance), and would wait until before biology class and jump around the room singing some stupid song about the prozac fairy, and toss my pills about haphazardly.  i was always surprised at the number of kiddos that would actually clamber for those dreadful things.  especially considering the fact that they had highly regimented jackbooted worms already...


Cainad (dec.)

  • Houseplant Supreme
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 93165
  • The Emperor's Hairy Right Hand
    • View Profile
    • Internet Forum Safari
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2009, 08:54:29 pm »
Adderal 5mg and 10mg. Took Zoloft years ago when I really had depression, but that was before the worms took up residence.

Elder Iptuous

  • Professional Discordian and Physiognomist
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 56216
  • terribly tedious
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2009, 09:00:46 pm »
oh, duh.  i guess that does fit the metaphor better...   :oops:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2009, 09:13:17 pm »
Even though my pills are green, I knew what you were talking about right away. :mittens:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 80835
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2009, 09:32:54 pm »
count yourselves lucky they work for you two. seriously I'm jealous as fuck about that.
I have all the symptoms that sketch typical ADD except that the pills hardly do anything. not the efexor i told about in another thread, I also got dex (used to be ritalin, but that gave me panic attacks). it kind of helps, sometimes, a littlebit. but nothing even close to the miraculous wonders of focus and concentration that I hear stories about from the people I know with ADHD. i wish it was just ADHD, so there would be something for me that actually works. except there is nothing. and kicking myself to man up and just try harder was what made the panic attacks begin a few years ago. (im not saying this to get attention btw, just, who knows, someone might recognize what I'm talking about here and have an idea, then pm me)

so, um, never mind that, on with the worms. I liked your piece, Cainad. cool metaphor. and I'm glad the blue pills work too :)
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Cainad (dec.)

  • Houseplant Supreme
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 93165
  • The Emperor's Hairy Right Hand
    • View Profile
    • Internet Forum Safari
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2009, 09:58:23 pm »
count yourselves lucky they work for you two. seriously I'm jealous as fuck about that.
I have all the symptoms that sketch typical ADD except that the pills hardly do anything. not the efexor i told about in another thread, I also got dex (used to be ritalin, but that gave me panic attacks). it kind of helps, sometimes, a littlebit. but nothing even close to the miraculous wonders of focus and concentration that I hear stories about from the people I know with ADHD. i wish it was just ADHD, so there would be something for me that actually works. except there is nothing. and kicking myself to man up and just try harder was what made the panic attacks begin a few years ago. (im not saying this to get attention btw, just, who knows, someone might recognize what I'm talking about here and have an idea, then pm me)

When I was on a combo of Adderall and Strattera, I had a panic attack as well.

Adderall works for me, but not as well as it used to and the "coming down" phase nearly caused me to get into an accident while driving this past Friday. I had set the car in drive while holding the brake, expecting traffic to move forward soon... when suddenly I felt myself moving backwards. I freaked, and it is only by sheer luck that in my panic I threw the car into park before my foot hit the gas, apparently in an attempt to stop moving backwards (obviously, reason was not playing a very large role in my head at the moment). Once the car revved without moving, my focus expanded and I realized that the sensation of moving backwards was a hallucination, triggered by the forward motion of a large white truck trailer to my right.

Realizing that your sense of reality is warping while you are still behind the wheel is a very, very unpleasant experience.

KopyKat253

  • I 4 rizzle guys! REALLY!1!1!@!2
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1497
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2009, 11:25:08 pm »
All of your experiences, all of your cures. I'd hate to say it but it may all be for not if you can't find your own personal balance. Inside of balance you can find that its all in your head and tho they claim to know your brain. It is all just a guessing game... If it doesnt work, stop it. If it doesnt feel good, Dont do it. If it makes you sick, Find another way. Breathe and stretch and ponder, Simply relax and ask yourself, "why am I so worked up?"

Don't listen to me, what could i know? Im just a dumb hick from a stupid little town.
Just be sure to ask yourself.
Keep It Simple Stupid
Write for the masses. Don't use to many big words.
The mob doesn't like lexicographers.

The Johnny

  • did nots
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 41296
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2009, 11:47:07 pm »

No duh.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2009, 01:12:02 am »
Adderal 5mg and 10mg. Took Zoloft years ago when I really had depression, but that was before the worms took up residence.

DISCORDIA:  EVERYONE'S IN THE CLUB CAR, NOBODY IS DRIVING THE TRAIN.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Rumckle

  • Made damn sure he
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 24739
  • Roaring bowel of the Discordiosphere
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2009, 01:14:31 am »
Actually, HIMEOBS is driving the train.
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2009, 01:16:15 am »
Actually, HIMEOBS is driving the train.

That's what I said.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Reginald Ret

  • 'Miserable Atrocianthrope'
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 38806
  • Interweb Gloryhole QC Inspector #23
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2009, 03:54:33 pm »
HIMEOBS FOR PRESIDENT!
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2009, 04:04:08 pm »
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cainad (dec.)

  • Houseplant Supreme
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 93165
  • The Emperor's Hairy Right Hand
    • View Profile
    • Internet Forum Safari
Re: The Worms and Their Little Blue Pills
« Reply #14 on: November 09, 2009, 04:33:48 pm »
Adderal 5mg and 10mg. Took Zoloft years ago when I really had depression, but that was before the worms took up residence.

DISCORDIA:  EVERYONE'S IN THE CLUB CAR, NOBODY IS DRIVING THE TRAIN.

Old Charlie stole the handle, and the train, it won't stop going

No way to slow down...