Author Topic: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"  (Read 8447 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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"Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« on: November 11, 2009, 03:56:47 pm »
Jabbered here to avoid spagging Suu's thread up any further.

I think I've spend a little too much time down the rabbit hole.  It's strange down here, and it's full of Hideous Truths™ that, in retrospect, I didn't really need to know.  The problem with this is that I have become, apparently, a very unlikeable person.  Outside of my immediate family, I have maybe ten people that can stand my presence, and half of them are crazy or damaged in some way.

Looking back, I was probably better off making my money in Wrongfun ways, hanging out with whores and hustlers and the very dregs of society.  At least I had someone to talk to, people that understood me.  My people, as it were.  They were shitheads, but they were there when I needed them, instead of merely expecting me to be there for them.

But the kids moved into state, and I had to become respectable, for their sake.  I have to deal with teachers and college reps and a neighborhood that is full of a better class of scum.  And as much fun as it is to tear into those people, I do kind of miss having more than a couple of people around me that like me.

As the man said, I can't take any more bad water, I've been poisoned from my head down to my shoes.  Poisoned by exposure to Calvinists, exposure to the horrible fucks that live behind me, exposure to people who want to hear me rant, but don't particularly like to have me around otherwise.  Exposure to people that want Roger on demand, who value my advice but not me, if you get what I'm saying.

Of course, I am certain that this is mostly me.  I have been told, for example, that I am a very difficult person to live with, and people who are at first excited to hang out with me - or even talk with me - soon avoid me like the plague.  I'm not sure what to do about that, because the day I become someone else for any reason, even for basic human contact, is the day I eat my fucking gun.  And that ain't happening...I'm not done with you fucking primates yet.

So, no, things are not okay in the wastelands.  Things are actually pretty fucking miserable.  But they make pills for that, I have found, and the pills do okay.  But I miss all the lowlifes I used to know, back when I knew how to Rock N Roll, back when the Lost Highway looked cool, when I was walking with The King.  Maybe I need to get back to that, and stop relying on people who don't actually view me as a person.

Something has to be done.  I refuse to live like this.  I refuse to be a crying towel one day, and an unwanted annoyance the next.  I refuse to be nothing more than entertainment on demand.  If that's how people view me, then I shall remove the annoyance from those particular people.  I am nothing if not considerate.

Let me be clear that I'm not bitching about "respect", here, or "my due", or any bullshit like that.  I'm bitching that I have been reduced to an On-Demand presentation, or a monster, or some horrible thing that is best viewed from a distance...Ho ho!  Look at the funny misanthrope and his funny pills and funny stories and okay, great, that's over, let's watch something else now.  I have, it seems, an off button.  My old associates were the scum of the Earth, really awful people in some cases, but they never aimed a remote at me when the funny ranting man ran out of rants for 10 seconds.

Something has to be done.

Or kill me.
« Last Edit: November 11, 2009, 03:59:15 pm by The Good Reverend Roger »
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

SuuCal

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2009, 04:02:20 pm »
First of all, if anyone requests you "On Demand", make sure you get paid, damnit. If someone only wants you around with it's convenient for their entertainment needs, may as well make a buck.

Also, MOVE TO THE NORTHEAST. There's enough vile hate here to keep you busy for a while. Except for in Vermont, but heck, maybe that state will make me a better person, who knows? Maybe I'll start a revolution and turn Vermont upside down...but then it would just be New Hampshire.


Anyways, I'd say, fuck all. Don't give these people the time of your day. Turn the tides. Make them come to you instead of you going to them.
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LMNO

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2009, 04:03:48 pm »
Well, damn.  Normally, I would prescribe cactus, handguns, and a few days in the Badlands, but it looks like you can't take any more poisons right now.

What the hell can you do, anyway?  Even clearing the carbon out of your brain pipes only lasts for so long.  You go outside the rules, breathe deeply for a few seconds, and then you're back into the thick of it, because there are people who need you to fit some semblance of the verb "to behave".  

I remember what happened to Cool Hand Luke... and to Bartleby.  They say there are some horses you can't break, but you can always take them behing the barn with a 30.06.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2009, 04:10:19 pm »
Anyways, I'd say, fuck all. Don't give these people the time of your day. Turn the tides. Make them come to you instead of you going to them.

This.

Also, going back to my people.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

SuuCal

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2009, 04:13:03 pm »
Canada?  :lulz:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
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"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2009, 04:15:02 pm »
Well, damn.  Normally, I would prescribe cactus, handguns, and a few days in the Badlands, but it looks like you can't take any more poisons right now.

What the hell can you do, anyway?  Even clearing the carbon out of your brain pipes only lasts for so long.  You go outside the rules, breathe deeply for a few seconds, and then you're back into the thick of it, because there are people who need you to fit some semblance of the verb "to behave".  

I remember what happened to Cool Hand Luke... and to Bartleby.  They say there are some horses you can't break, but you can always take them behing the barn with a 30.06.

I think what happened is that I forgot about Cool Hand Luke, because I was too busy worrying about Curly, so to speak.  That was a mistake.  Curly was a sap and a fool and a rube, and he deserved everything he got.  I tried to be something I'm not, and I should probably learn from the experience.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2009, 04:16:03 pm »
Canada?  :lulz:

No, they're a bunch of saps up there.  Even my family.  ESPECIALLY my family (The Terrible Old Man excepted).

No, I'm just talking about the South End, where you always know the deal.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Lies

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2009, 04:31:16 pm »
I feel like I should say something Rog, but I don't know what to say.

Something along the lines of, I know we haven't always gotten along, I know you can be a very big arsehole sometimes, and I don't always agree with you.

But I respect you. And I do, in some fucked up way, look up to you.
I don't know why, but I do.

You've taught me a lot, you've showed me a side of humanity that both confused and enlightened me.

You're a real one of a kind, and you make things that much more interesting, in a way that no one else can do.

I suppose, the thing that sort of comes to mind is, "You're not wanted, but god fucking damn it, you're needed, neigh, you're TOO FUCKING GOOD for most people out there, and they don't realise it til it's too fucking late, or they never realise it at all, and if they don't, they will forever be more lost then an Alzheimers patient in a funhouse full of mirrors and politicians".

In other words, YOU'RE TOO FUCKING REAL FOR MOST OF THE WORLD TO GET OR APPRECIATE.

I don't know where I'm really going with this, but I hope it means something to you.

If not, then whatever. I tried, and you know what happens when I try
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order… is you!

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2009, 04:36:59 pm »
I suppose, the thing that sort of comes to mind is, "You're not wanted, but god fucking damn it, you're needed,

That's the problem, Lys, you've hit it right on the head.  I no longer have any interest in addressing the needs of people who don't want me, if you catch my drift.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Lies

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2009, 04:42:08 pm »
I suppose, the thing that sort of comes to mind is, "You're not wanted, but god fucking damn it, you're needed,

That's the problem, Lys, you've hit it right on the head.  I no longer have any interest in addressing the needs of people who don't want me, if you catch my drift.

Quote
I have maybe ten people that can stand my presence, and half of them are crazy or damaged in some way.

There's something that's been told to me on various occasions throughout my life by learned men that I respect:(slightly paraphrased)
When you get to an old age, and you can count the amount of friends you have, real, true, honest to god friends that you can RELY on, on more then one hand, consider yourself LUCKY.

From the sounds of it Rog, you should consider yourself LUCKY.  
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order… is you!

Richter

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2009, 04:43:49 pm »
I like your example of folks who want a crying rag, then nothing else to do with you, Roger.  Those folks are just faces to me, work, home, or street, and should only get a by - the - book, "It's someone else's problem to fix" answer.  Not to say I only help out or act charitable to folks who can reciprocate, I just refuse to waste resources on folks who wouldn't even if they could.  They're just pits for emotion, resource, or time, so far as I can tell.
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

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LMNO

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2009, 04:46:38 pm »
I suppose, the thing that sort of comes to mind is, "You're not wanted, but god fucking damn it, you're needed,

That's the problem, Lys, you've hit it right on the head.  I no longer have any interest in addressing the needs of people who don't want me, if you catch my drift.

Y'know, if you look at it one way, giving people what they need but don't want is one step closer to martyrdom; and really, fuck that.

On the other hand, FUCKING JAMMING WHAT PEOPLE NEED DOWN THEIR FUCKING THROATS, WHETHER THEY WANT IT OR NOT can be considered to be Fun, for a certain value of "fun".

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2009, 04:49:23 pm »
I like your example of folks who want a crying rag, then nothing else to do with you, Roger.  Those folks are just faces to me, work, home, or street, and should only get a by - the - book, "It's someone else's problem to fix" answer.  Not to say I only help out or act charitable to folks who can reciprocate, I just refuse to waste resources on folks who wouldn't even if they could.  They're just pits for emotion, resource, or time, so far as I can tell.

Yep.  I think I'm going to erase half of my phone settings, change my hangouts, and start all over again.  Find a new crowd, new people to talk to.

Some of those few friends of mine are broke as fuck.  I have zero problem occasionally throwing some tobacco or booze or chow their way, because they are even happy to see me when I don't do those things.  I honestly like them, and I only worry that they may feel embarrassed when I do those things.  They shouldn't.  I ENJOY doing nice things for my friends, it gives me a level of gratification that ALMOST offsets the letdown I get from others who act as you describe.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2009, 04:50:14 pm »
You know, forgive what I'm about to say, but Rog..

you sound like someone who would fit right in and make friends easily in Florida.

Now, now, I know what you're thinking. "How dare you say such a horrible thing you insufferable woman!" but believe it or not there are actually some quite interesting people here hidden within the pool of stupid and ignorance.
We could use a few more gems.

S'all I'm sayin.

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Re: "Are things okay in The Wasteland?"
« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2009, 04:50:56 pm »
FUCK those people.  You don't need them and if they need you well then they should have fucking thought of that before they fucked it all up.  Screw them and the horse they rode in on.  

We all try so hard to be what everyone wants, present the correct face, associate with the right people, live in the chosen neighborhood, drive the preferred car....  because we want to be accepted, have friends, that human contact that is really needed but when we have it with those who don't want or appreciate us, it gets all fucked up.

FUCK ALL THAT!

I'm a bitch.  My kids warn their friends ahead of time.  I only associate with people who I genuinely like and respect.  Everyone else can pretty much kiss my ass.  

I'm not saying I don't put on my perfect mother mask when it comes to the kids, I do that to make THEIR lives easier not mine.  

Choose your aquaintances by whatever criteria you wish, choose your friends by trust and respect.