Author Topic: Dear Jim Koch,  (Read 2940 times)

Eater of Clowns

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Dear Jim Koch,
« on: December 09, 2009, 03:46:56 am »
I respect you, really I do.  I place a good deal of credit in the revival of craft brewing in this country with the success of Sam Adams.  You weren't the first to do it, but I think you played a big hand in its popularity.  I think that you have a live feed of hop fields in Germany to have up to date weather information is fantastic, and that you bought a surplus of hops during the shortage to sell at a loss to other microbrews was a great gesture.  I like your commercials and that catchy tune that plays in the background.  I like that when you gave your speech at the 2008 Octoberfest I'm pretty sure you were drunk.

But our relationship is tumultuous at best, Jim.  Quality seems to be taking a dive.  There was a time when your seasonals were only available in New England and summer wasn't summer without Summer Ale.  Winter Lager was one of my favorite beers and I could ignore Spring Wheat because your Oktoberfest kept getting tastier.  They just aren't as fresh anymore; this year's Summer Ale tasted like piss and I don't mind telling you, but this year's Winter Lager is one of your best in some time.  Nothing has become more stressful in the season changes than that first Sam Adams to find out if my safe standby for the next few months will be your own or if I'll have to find another.

I'm a fan, Jim Koch, I'm a fan of you and I'm a fan of your brewery.  I've known you and enjoyed you for years, and I wish you would take this simple advice:

Make Old Fezziwig Ale available in a six pack.

It is the best beer you make, hands down, year after year.  It is cruel, making me suffer through a Winter Warmer 12 pack including that god forsaken Cranberry Lambic so I have an opportunity for two of those delicious Old Fezziwig Ales.  Give me direct, unhindered access to Old Fezziwig and I'll ignore your miserable decision to mass produce Blackberry Witbier, which I advised you upon taste testing it against the Espresso Stout to shit can both.

So Jim, I ask you, nay, implore you with all humility and deference, give us Old Fezziwig.

Sincerely,
EoC
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Sir Squid Diddimus

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2009, 08:28:21 am »
Try this



Cigar city brewing co

East Coast Hustle

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2009, 04:39:08 pm »
Sam Adams is god-awful beer.

I like the rant, though.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2009, 05:11:15 pm »
Sam Adams is god-awful beer.

I like the rant, though.

i agree with both sentences

Eater of Clowns

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2009, 09:01:21 pm »
 :lulz:

I just really love Old Fezziwig.

I have a soft spot for Sam Adams because I think it does its job great.  Being a large enough company to have recognition nation wide makes it sort of a gateway into better beers.  It's rare to find someone who'll try a serious beer and love it right away, so Sam Adams can be used to build up to that.

Unless you're my girlfriend, who somehow tried Arrogant Bastard early in her beer sampling and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Squiddy, in all the hunting I do in my area I don't believe I've ever seen Cigar City Brewing around.  If it ever pops up I'll keep it in mind.  Thanks for the suggestion.
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

East Coast Hustle

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2009, 03:58:20 am »
EoC, you're a New England spag, right?

get your hands on some of Allagash Brewery's stuff. They're probably the best American brewery going (and probaly the ONLY american brewery that's worth a shit except for maybe Dogfish Head).
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2009, 06:22:29 am »
OOOoooh. That. Allagash is awesome.
EoC- I don't know if you'll be able to find cigar city stuff where you are. i mean, it's a florida beer (that surprisingly does NOT taste like ass.... no for real) so i'm not sure how far out they ship it, or who would actually want it.
you might be able to buy it off the website?? i dunno

Eater of Clowns

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2009, 06:48:23 am »
EoC, you're a New England spag, right?

get your hands on some of Allagash Brewery's stuff. They're probably the best American brewery going (and probaly the ONLY american brewery that's worth a shit except for maybe Dogfish Head).

You know, I think I've had Allagash.  I generally fill up a mix-a-six pack a week with whatever I haven't tried and then work through it, so I'm sure I've crossed it.  Dogfish Head, to be honest, I don't see what the fuss is about.  Jim Cagalione is a maniac, and I love him for it like I love the obsessive and intolerable Jim Koch, but I find his vision greater than his ability.  Every Dogfish Head beer is worth a story but there's a sad few worth a second drink.  I -love- the Palo Santo Maron background of it being aged in a hard, oily wood, but couldn't get past a few glasses of the stuff.  Their liters or British pints or whatever the big bottles are, though, are generally quite tasty, especially Sahtea, as is 90 Minute Imperial IPA.

Stone is by far my favorite brewery in America.  Ruination is the best IPA I've ever had, and were it not for the $18 per six pack tag it commands in my area I'd drink nothing else.  They hold the title of the best beer I've had the fortune to experience, the Stone Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout, which was their 2008 limited edition and as I understand highly coveted to find by its enthusiasts (my brother-in-law works at a liquor store and found a few in the discount bin, if he doesn't save at least one I will end him).

Southern Tier definitely has my respect for a few of their brews, but their seasonal ones like Harvest and Old Man Winter are actually terrible (proof you can't just add hops to anything and have it work out).  Pumpking is still my favorite pumpkin beer, and if I want to get fucked up without knowing it I'll go with their smooth-as-shit-for-11% Unearthly IPA.

As of their Leviathan series, I give my accolades to best all around brewery to Harpoon.  I can turn to them safely for a solid and safe regular line up and also delicious extreme brews if I'm down for them.  The Leviathan IPA is a god damn triumph (I would rank it 2, behind Ruination, but above 90 Minute, for IPAs).  Plus, Harpoon offers free "tastings" at their Boston location where they just keep filling up your 4oz glass for an hour (including the 9%+ Leviathans) that I've left straight fucked up from.  I fully intend to apply for their apprenticeship program come January when I officially meet the quota for the year of professional experience it requires.

OOOoooh. That. Allagash is awesome.
EoC- I don't know if you'll be able to find cigar city stuff where you are. i mean, it's a florida beer (that surprisingly does NOT taste like ass.... no for real) so i'm not sure how far out they ship it, or who would actually want it.
you might be able to buy it off the website?? i dunno


I clicked around a bit on their site and didn't see a distribution thing.  Maybe some third party site would have it?  I'll have to look into it.

I'll admit it, when I went to Florida I was so psyched that you guys had a Yeungling brewery down there and the place I got it from had it on $2 draught that I bought nothing but.  For a straight up "American style" lager I love the shit out of it and even it being located in Pennsylvania we cannot get it shipped north of Connecticut.

Also, sorry for the geekery and lengthiness of my reply.  I've been drinking.   :lulz:
(Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout - not bad).
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Sir Squid Diddimus

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2009, 07:20:39 am »
LOL I had that on Saturday when I put up the ugly tree. (BB choc stout)
I like it.

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2009, 01:16:37 pm »
EoC, I think MA still uses the "three tier" system, so you can't get the beer shipped directly to you; you have to ask your local beer guy to ask the distributer to get it from the brewery.

From your posts, it sounds like your'e on pretty good terms with your local beer guy, so you should be all set.
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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2009, 05:02:28 pm »
Yuengling is probably the 2nd best cheap shit beer in america, just behind Rainier.

I don't care much for Harpoon, but Stone makes some drinkable beers. Arrogant Bastard actually qualifies as good IMO.

And ITA about Dogfish. They're hit and miss and more misses than hits but the ones they get right are pretty good. I really like the Pangaea.

Admittedly, I'm not much of an IPA fan, I tend to go for lagers or alts with the occasional porter or stout thrown in on the rare occasions when I feel like chewing my beer. I've never understood the american breweries' obsession with just over-hopping every ale they make as much as possible. IMO, it kills the balance of flavors and leaves a crap aftertaste.

If you're willing to shell out the money for some of the higher-end american beers, you should do yourself a favor and start dabbling in some of the high-end european beers as well.

RCH's recommendations:

Reisdorf (their kolsch is awesome)
Bosteels' Tripel Karmeliet (one of my favorites)
Gouden Carolus (I came)
Peroni (nice crisp italian lager)
Harviestoun's Old Engine Oil (black lager, better than any american porter I've had)
« Last Edit: December 10, 2009, 05:14:24 pm by Rip City Hustle »
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2009, 05:05:48 pm »
Oh, how I hate you all.   :argh!:

TGRR,
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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2009, 06:52:14 pm »
I quit beer again because I gained almost five pounds back in the one month I was letting myself have it. And I quit wine because it gives me a headache. And I had a hot toddy last night but it gave me a headache, so maybe I'm quitting whiskey too.
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East Coast Hustle

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #13 on: December 10, 2009, 08:11:18 pm »
sounds like tequila time to me.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Dear Jim Koch,
« Reply #14 on: December 10, 2009, 08:12:13 pm »
sounds like tequila time to me.

:crankey:

TGRR,
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