Figured I'd give this a shot. I'm not sure on how I feel about this myself, but, hey, it was worth a shot. If you feel like it's almost
there, let me now what I should fix up.
What it Means to be a Self-Reliant American in 2010-20XX
I know what to do in any given situation. I am completely idependant and self reliant. Some people say that I wouldn't last any more than thirty-two seconds during the "Zombie Apocolypse" (whatever that
means), but I'm a full eighteen years old now, and you know what? That
an adult. And we all
know that adults are all in complete control of their lives. You can't tell me anything that I don't already know, and like I said, I know what it means to be self-reliant. For instance: When I'm hungry, I drive to the closest TGI Fridays and order my fave, Jack Daniels Chicken strips (Nom Nom, lolol). If I'm really
starving, and I'm too weak to drive, I just order pizza or chinese, and it's there in a flash! Some people ask what I would do if, say, my car broke down, but seriously, they must be either busting my balls or just downright incompetant. I trust my mechanic to fix my
car, and I drop it off there all by myself
These same people, though, are really persistant. They asked me what I would do if my clothes got ripped or torn, how would I protect myself from the enviroment? These guys are soooo
dumb lol. I'd go to Old Navy and get new clothes! And I doubt there's anything
some stupid zombie could do about it. After that, these people asked me "what if there are no more Old Navy's?" (as if that
could ever happen) I just said "Hollister!" while stuffing my face with an Auntie Anne's specialty pretzel (I swear to God, I don't now what I would do without pretzels! I think I might die!)
I think after that, they started to get angry. I think they started to feel dumb for asking so many stupid questions, because they started asking me what I would do if I were in immediate physical danger. Well, funny joke on them, I called the cops
! Everyone knows that you're supposed to call the police when you're in danger! Now these dumb people won't bother me any more and I can spend my
time being self-reliant, right in front of my T.V.set. Just as soon as my mom finishes making dinner...