Science, Kai...Pure Science, and be Damned to He Who Says "Enough".

[Remington]

A helpful resource for the good Doktor:
http://www.cracked.com/article_17016_7-items-you-wont-believe-are-actually-legal.html

40 states have absolutely no laws whatsoever concerning flamethrowers. Only in America would a device capable of launching rivers of fire at people be less regulated than marijuana.

That pesky 1st Amendment makes it pretty difficult for the government to ban a book just because it has instructions for baking Pyrex explosives and crippling the drive system of an M1 Abrams. This is a good thing.

[Doktor Howl]

A helpful resource for the good Doktor:
http://www.cracked.com/article_17016_7-items-you-wont-believe-are-actually-legal.html

40 states have absolutely no laws whatsoever concerning flamethrowers. Only in America would a device capable of launching rivers of fire at people be less regulated than marijuana.

That pesky 1st Amendment makes it pretty difficult for the government to ban a book just because it has instructions for baking Pyrex explosives and crippling the drive system of an M1 Abrams. This is a good thing.

Woot!

[The Wizard]

I'm quite interested in Salvia. And the homemade weaponry. And holy shit, I can own a minigun. Remington, I love you.

[Bu☆ns]

Allow me to be one to

COCK!
http://www.shomer-tec.com/department/special-ingredients-32.cfm
REPOSTE! 

considering these should be standards in any mad ________'s laboratory.

also if anybody tries this out in the field, please share your experiences.

[Template]

Allow me to be one to

COCK!
http://www.shomer-tec.com/department/special-ingredients-32.cfm
REPOSTE! 

considering these should be standards in any mad ________'s laboratory.

also if anybody tries this out in the field, please share your experiences.

What of KYFMS?

[Requia ☣]

Hmm, what the hell is there that thermite *won't* burn or melt?  Looking at it, the stuff is hot enough for the rubies from beer cans experiment I always wanted to do.

[Doktor Howl]

Allow me to be one to

COCK!
http://www.shomer-tec.com/department/special-ingredients-32.cfm
REPOSTE! 

considering these should be standards in any mad ________'s laboratory.

also if anybody tries this out in the field, please share your experiences.

What of KYFMS?

Dangerously out of calibration right now, I think.  We need to knock this shit off, and find a better way to communicate.

[Pariah]

I LOVE YOU AMERICA!

http://unitednuclear.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2_4  

Something is disturbing about the fact that only the more highly radioactive ore is sold out.

[Kai]

Dear Dkr. Howl,

I understand your reasoning completely. In a world where people are taken way too seriously, being a mad scientist means you are one of the few who actually /isn't/.

However, I think I'm there already. You see, I'm a biologist, and not just a biologist, but a systematist, and not just a systematist but a pattern cladist systematist, and not just a pattern cladist systematist but a pattern cladist systematist that specializes in a group of insects which make most people ask the question, "What the HELL is a Cah-deece Fly?" No one takes me seriously, except my fellow Trichopterists, and we're all a small group.

Turns out we end up pretty much like mad scientists without even trying. All that's left is some style. I mean, what's the point of all this if you can't look strange doing it?

So, here's some ideas:

1. Change of wardrobe. I have some of the same sort of button downs my adviser wears, but my pants are all wrong. Also, fishing vests, you know, the sort that have all the pockets so I can have vials and notebooks and forceps stuffed in with me at all times. Also also, pocket protectors. My glasses are just about perfect now, so no change there.

2. Library. My adviser stresses this quite a bit, and I've obliged probably more than I should considering my funds. The more old entomology texts I have, the better. Hell, I've got 100 year old copies of Darwin. And I've always got an old book on my person for reading.

3. Language. It's not that I can't speak English, it's just that it's so much more fun to speak in lingua siencia. Using entomology terms for body parts is a good start (ig, frons for forehead, tarsus for foot). Also, change of curse words. Frass for shit, adeagus for penis derivatives, and "Phryganeids!" as an interjection. If I'm gonna swear, might as well do it in style.

4. Absentminded professor. Now, I don't mean being actually absentminded. I mean, instead feining absentmindedness. Keep the kids on their toes. Part of being a mad scientist is seeming completely harmless in your ridiculous while in actuality you're so much more.

I know this is probably not the sort of mad scientist you aspire to, but there's more than one mad scientist out there. We're all the same in the sense that we see how unbelievably amazing reality is, and how equally unbelievable is the stupidity of the ordinary human monkeys we see every day in their complete failure to see the amazingness of reality. This, of course, drives us mad.

Sincerely yours,

Kai

[Doktor Howl]

I know this is probably not the sort of mad scientist you aspire to, but there's more than one mad scientist out there. We're all the same in the sense that we see how unbelievably amazing reality is, and how equally unbelievable is the stupidity of the ordinary human monkeys we see every day in their complete failure to see the amazingness of reality. This, of course, drives us mad.

All of the preceding statements/ideas are good.  But where's the maniacal laughing?  Where's the revenge-driven statements of intent?

Where's the "TIME TO FEED, MY LITTLE ONES!", while the panicked masses scream and try to escape?

[Cain]

I have to ask:  What the fuck was that?

"Fringe."  A pretty great show, actually.

I'm going to buy the DVDs on Cain's say-so alone.

The science is more than a bit pseudo-sciency, but Walter is the perfect mad scientist for the modern era.  Whether its taking heroic amounts of homemade LSD, exploding fruit with microwave based implants, keeping a cow in Havard University or attempting to make super-soldiers for the military, Walter is a fine role model.  Plus when he says "they said I was mad", he really means it.  17 years in a mental asylum is not conducive to stable thinking.

[Doktor Howl]

I have to ask:  What the fuck was that?

"Fringe."  A pretty great show, actually.

I'm going to buy the DVDs on Cain's say-so alone.

The science is more than a bit pseudo-sciency, but Walter is the perfect mad scientist for the modern era.  Whether its taking heroic amounts of homemade LSD, exploding fruit with microwave based implants, keeping a cow in Havard University or attempting to make super-soldiers for the military, Walter is a fine role model.  Plus when he says "they said I was mad", he really means it.  17 years in a mental asylum is not conducive to stable thinking.

Well, there you go.  If I wanted regular science, I'd watch Bill Nye, who is a God in his own right.

[Remington]

1. Change of wardrobe. I have some of the same sort of button downs my adviser wears, but my pants are all wrong. Also, fishing vests, you know, the sort that have all the pockets so I can have vials and notebooks and forceps stuffed in with me at all times. Also also, pocket protectors. My glasses are just about perfect now, so no change there.

I propose a long, off-white lab coat. Wear it everywhere you go.
Should anyone mention it, simply reply "Oh, it's a science thing. You wouldn't understand."

Related:

[Doktor Howl]

1. Change of wardrobe. I have some of the same sort of button downs my adviser wears, but my pants are all wrong. Also, fishing vests, you know, the sort that have all the pockets so I can have vials and notebooks and forceps stuffed in with me at all times. Also also, pocket protectors. My glasses are just about perfect now, so no change there.

I propose a long, off-white lab coat. Wear it everywhere you go.
Should anyone mention it, simply reply "Oh, it's a science thing. You wouldn't understand."

Related:

[Jenne]

  I love this thread.