Author Topic: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?  (Read 9540 times)

Doktor Howl

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So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« on: May 03, 2010, 05:21:40 pm »
Jim, while I am definitely not going to claim to be an authority on Discordianism, I am entitled to and do have my own opinions on what qualifies or disqualifies a person.  Let me stress that again:  In my eyes, there are some things that preclude you from being a Discordian, as I understand it.  There.  Enough e-prime.

It is my opinion that when you start identifying with the various fake ideologies that the monkeys have all bought, you drop on your knuckles and no longer qualify as a biped...This, in turn, disqualifies you as a Discordian for the duration of your error.  This would include political, economic, religious, and fraternal beliefs. 

For example, if you identify yourself as a "Libertarian" or a "Liberal" or a "Baptist" or an "American Legionaire", then that's what you are.  Enjoy it.  Don't try to redefine Discordianism to fit your new and ridiculous beliefs.  All of the above are monkey traps, and while you have the perfect right to crawl right into one and close the cage behind you, please don't get your poop all over the rest of us.  We'll still be here when you remember how to think, and - as the man said - you can come back, baby, rock n roll never forgets.

We are not on ANY of their sides, as none of them are on OUR side.

One test of humanity is whether or not you spend all day trying to pound square pegs into round holes...By which I mean whether you try to warp and twist some ideology you think looks GREAT on paper into functioning in the real world.    If you're in the habit of doing this, then you'd be better off joining the organization that most closely resembles your belief, and then riding it WHOLE HOG, until the inherent idiocies make themselves plain to you.  This may be the only way to cure yourself, and even if you don't, you'll have more fun than the other monkeys you're associating with.

This seems to be the solution for a lot of things...Take it, and then run it right to the wall.  If it can't stand the strain, it's not valid.  If the others can't handle the strange bodily fluids you emit, or the strange howlings of the rock n roll you blast while you stress-test their system, then you'll know the truth.

It even happens here.  When things go in the shitter, the weak-kneed so-called "Discordians" get all huffy and "throw a Paes", and piss off until things are nice and safe and vanilla again.  This century isn't going to be kind to them, I think.  In fact, I think it's going to be a real bummer.

Which is okay.  More fun for the rest of us.

Okay for now,
Dok

"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2010, 06:06:27 pm »
:mittens:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”



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Lies

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2010, 06:14:09 pm »
I approve this fucking message.
Standing above the crowd,
He had a voice that was strong and loud and I
Swallowed his facade cuz I'm so
Eager to identify with
Someone above the ground,
Someone who seemed to feel the same,
Someone prepared to lead the way, and
Someone who would die for me.

Will you? Will you now?
Would you die for me?
Don't you fuckin lie.

Remington

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2010, 06:28:30 pm »
This motorcycle is the correct one! Sorry I can't add much more, but Dok pretty much said it all.
 :mittens:
Is it plugged in?

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2010, 06:32:55 pm »
It's always been easy for a lot of people to follow. They are the kind to point at a leader and say, "What a great person." They are sheep and always will be. Personally I don't care what label is slapped on me because I simply don't care what other people think.

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2010, 06:41:15 pm »
That's jsut the way to have it Dok.  Beign a sedate, peaceful, observing student doesn't learn you JACK.  Stand patient and attentive, hands folded or notepad out, on the sideline long enough, and the best that will happen is someone tells you to get out of the way.  Grabbing the horns of the beast in one hand, the balls in the other, screaming at the heavens and seeing just HOW fast it will go is what makes worthwhile experience.  

Like we found out this weekend, when some folks are doing it HARDER, FASTER, or MORE FUN than before, there will always be fireworks.  Kind of like surfing a rock slide on a smiling buddha.  It'll wear away, and you'll be toast soon, but it's hillarious, and the fucker is smilling still, all the way down.
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Doktor Howl

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2010, 06:49:07 pm »
That's jsut the way to have it Dok.  Beign a sedate, peaceful, observing student doesn't learn you JACK.  Stand patient and attentive, hands folded or notepad out, on the sideline long enough, and the best that will happen is someone tells you to get out of the way.  Grabbing the horns of the beast in one hand, the balls in the other, screaming at the heavens and seeing just HOW fast it will go is what makes worthwhile experience.  

Like we found out this weekend, when some folks are doing it HARDER, FASTER, or MORE FUN than before, there will always be fireworks.  Kind of like surfing a rock slide on a smiling buddha.  It'll wear away, and you'll be toast soon, but it's hillarious, and the fucker is smilling still, all the way down.

America isn't a Caddilac, Richter.  It's a goddamn 1955 Jeep with rusted floorboards and bad valves.  You drive it hard, and you drive it fast, and roads are for those going to the supermarket.  What you do, is you take this attitude to the new guru of your choice, and you apply it to his nads.   If he screams, listen to what he's screaming...If he's hollering that you need to stop, then get the fuck out of there.  If he starts yelling at you to go faster, to smash through the fucking drywall and see what's behind the Dojo, then maybe he has something to say.

But you're going to find that all these -isms and their adherents aren't about that, Richter.  They already have all the answers, shit, they got so many answers they've forgotten how to ask questions.

And that's no way to be a biped.
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

Doktor Howl

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2010, 06:49:52 pm »
It's always been easy for a lot of people to follow. They are the kind to point at a leader and say, "What a great person." They are sheep and always will be. Personally I don't care what label is slapped on me because I simply don't care what other people think.

HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR ALPHA?
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

Kai

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2010, 06:51:44 pm »
Discordianism is also a monkey trap.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

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Doktor Howl

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2010, 06:53:17 pm »
Discordianism is also a monkey trap.

Right you are.

So, let's just all grab bananas, masturbate for the crowd, and throw poop.

Since there's no way out, and it's all hopeless, and we're not any different.

Why am I here, again?  There are easier ways to be a monkey.
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

Jasper

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2010, 06:53:32 pm »
Discordianism is also a monkey trap.

Damn right.  Only thing that makes it worthwhile is that Discordia attempts to subvert itself.

Doktor Howl

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #11 on: May 03, 2010, 06:54:20 pm »
Discordianism is also a monkey trap.

Damn right.  Only thing that makes it worthwhile is that Discordia attempts to subvert itself.

If we have a consensus on this, I'm going to go find an easier way to screech.
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #12 on: May 03, 2010, 06:55:44 pm »
Discordianism is also a monkey trap.

Right you are.

So, let's just all grab bananas, masturbate for the crowd, and throw poop.

Since there's no way out, and it's all hopeless, and we're not any different.

Why am I here, again?  There are easier ways to be a monkey.

To expound/expand on what I said, Discordia can easily be a monkey trap, but it is systematically better than other monkey traps because a huge element of Discordia is shameless constant self-subversion.  It's the only way to avoid monkey minded ideology worship.

Doktor Howl

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2010, 06:58:56 pm »
Discordianism is also a monkey trap.

Right you are.

So, let's just all grab bananas, masturbate for the crowd, and throw poop.

Since there's no way out, and it's all hopeless, and we're not any different.

Why am I here, again?  There are easier ways to be a monkey.

To expound/expand on what I said, Discordia can easily be a monkey trap, but it is systematically better than other monkey traps because a huge element of Discordia is shameless constant self-subversion.  It's the only way to avoid monkey minded ideology worship.

I believe the statement was that it IS a monkey trap.

If it is, I'm fucking done.  I expected more, and there are local people I can be a fucking monkey with, just down the street.

Fuck the bunch of you, if you're so damn desperate to be monkeys.  Or if you want to look so jaded that it simply isn't done to suggest that maybe, just maybe, there's a way out.  Go on, get it over with and drop down on your fucking knuckles like all the other fucking primates on this sorry fucking mudball.

Doesn't mean I have to.

You damn dirty apes.

"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

Kai

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Re: So, Jim...When Did We Join The Monkeys?
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2010, 07:05:35 pm »
Discordianism is also a monkey trap.

Right you are.

So, let's just all grab bananas, masturbate for the crowd, and throw poop.

Since there's no way out, and it's all hopeless, and we're not any different.

Why am I here, again?  There are easier ways to be a monkey.

I didn't say what you posted.

If, by your OP, these identifications are "monkey traps", then identifying as Discordian is also a monkey trap. Unless, of course, identifying as Discordian is not the same as any other identity.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

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