How can you be anything other than a monkey? Do you possess a non-human brain?
Discordianism is also a monkey trap.
Right you are.
So, let's just all grab bananas, masturbate for the crowd, and throw poop.
Since there's no way out, and it's all hopeless, and we're not any different.
Why am I here, again? There are easier ways to be a monkey.
To expound/expand on what I said, Discordia can easily be a monkey trap, but it is systematically better than other monkey traps because a huge element of Discordia is shameless constant self-subversion. It's the only way to avoid monkey minded ideology worship.
I believe the statement was that it IS a monkey trap.
If it is, I'm fucking done. I expected more, and there are local people I can be a fucking monkey with, just down the street.
Fuck the bunch of you, if you're so damn desperate to be monkeys. Or if you want to look so jaded that it simply isn't done to suggest that maybe, just maybe, there's a way out. Go on, get it over with and drop down on your fucking knuckles like all the other fucking primates on this sorry fucking mudball.
Doesn't mean I have to.
You damn dirty apes.
Annnnnnnnnd here we go into semantics.
Why the FUCK do I bother?
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"