Author Topic: Mang's letters from the afterlife  (Read 4253 times)

Mangrove

  • Founder of the David Foster Wallace Appreciation Society
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 11769
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #15 on: May 17, 2010, 10:14:16 pm »
Life imitates art #2.

The same day I posted the 'meeting with buddha', my parents arrived. The brought with them pictures they took in Hong Kong and some gifts. Mrs Mang' got a jade necklace, I got a little hanging thing with stone buddhas on them.

What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

zarathustrasbastardson

  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 870
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2010, 12:26:21 am »
forsooth!

careful for what you seek, it may be closer than you think  :evil:

eris be ye salvation i eris be truth

say open your eyes let not discord kill the earth

not one who knows not eris, is not one who doesn't know

save mind full of poison, 'tis not a crime to love
chaos is truth
radiate better

Mangrove

  • Founder of the David Foster Wallace Appreciation Society
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 11769
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2010, 12:43:26 am »
forsooth!

careful for what you seek, it may be closer than you think  :evil:

eris be ye salvation i eris be truth

say open your eyes let not discord kill the earth

not one who knows not eris, is not one who doesn't know

save mind full of poison, 'tis not a crime to love

err....okay.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Bu☆ns

  • █ ▀█ ▀ █ ▀█▄ ▀█
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 40006
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #18 on: May 20, 2010, 03:11:24 pm »
Sorry, Post-mortem Mang, you were saying?

Mangrove

  • Founder of the David Foster Wallace Appreciation Society
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 11769
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #19 on: May 21, 2010, 12:47:03 am »
Sorry, Post-mortem Mang, you were saying?

Back soon.

Plus the lame dada post gave me a great idea.

 :lulz:
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Mangrove

  • Founder of the David Foster Wallace Appreciation Society
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 11769
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #20 on: May 21, 2010, 05:37:20 pm »
Hey everyone,

So, I was hanging out the one of the Buddhas and happened to make a snarky comment about Catholicism. The Buddha interupted me and said "No, Mang...that's not cool. You don't know what you're talking about!"

Naturally, I was surprised that the pleasantly plump enlightened one would have anything in common with the Vatican. The Buddha grabbed my arm and dragged me off shouting "Johhny P! We gotta go find Johhny P!!"

Moments later we found Johhny P. He was sat at a desk with his feet resting upon it, showing off his brand new pair of custom Dr Marten boots. In front of him lay a spread of tarot cards. He was snacking on some Kielbasa which he held between his fingers like a cigar. Not only was it his lunch, he would also gesture with it to emphasize a point.

Johhny P lowered his head so he could peer at me over the top of his aviator shades. "So, Mang....Chubby Checker here has told me that you've been ripping on my doctrines." I was starting to feel nervous and out of my depth.

"You see, Mang. It's now very easy to diss the Catholic church. I'm not saying that we didn't do anything do deserve it over the centuries because..yeah, I admit...we made some mistakes. Trouble is, not only do people on the outside not understand, I'm not convinced many people on the inside really get what this gig is about.

For instance, let's take Purgatory. Now, purgatory you see, is not a place but a process. No one ever actually 'goes to purgatory. I don't know why people are so hung up on that. I blame Dante to be honest with you. Anyway, purgatory is about letting go. Purgatory or the purgation is about things being stripped away. What, you may ask, is being stripped away? The answer my boy, is this - whatever is not essential.

Picture this. You're standing outside your house in the driveway and in your hand is a bag of garbage. Some guy comes from beside you, grabs the bag, throws it into an awaiting truck and drives off. At this point you've got two choices. You can bitch & moan....maybe you'll even call the cops and complain about how some asshole ran off with your bag of inessentials.  Or maybe, you just might realize he did you a favor.

You can either throw it away or you can have it taken from you. The bottom line is that you don't get to keep what is inessential. That is purgatory.

Ok...now get outta here...I gotta finish this reading."

We took our leave. As we headed back to the 3rd heaven, Buddha got a text from Krishna. "Mang', pick up the pace! I've arranged a meeting with Tha Smurf!"

Back soon,

Mangrove


PS Bummer. Ghost Whisperer got cancelled. Btw, Jennifer Love Hewitt's psychic powers leave much to be desired. She hasn't once yet noticed me twanging her brastrap.   

What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Bu☆ns

  • █ ▀█ ▀ █ ▀█▄ ▀█
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 40006
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #21 on: May 21, 2010, 05:58:45 pm »
HAHAHA

:mittens:

Mangrove

  • Founder of the David Foster Wallace Appreciation Society
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 11769
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #22 on: June 10, 2010, 09:39:26 pm »
Hey everyone,

Well, it certainly has been a weird week. The Buddha got me an appointment with who he likes to call ‘The Smurf’ but is known to millions of Hindus as ‘Krishna’.

When I arrived at the rendezvous point he was sitting under a tree surrounded by beautiful women. They were watching a movie on one of those portable laptop DVD players.

“Avatar!?? AVATAR!??? I’ll show you a fucking avatar!!”

He produced a small wooden flute and blasted a few shrill notes causing the DVD player to shatter. The crowd of scantily dressed women became nervous and drifted away, leaving me along with India’s favorite blue deity.

“Mangrove! Fat Boy told me you were on the way over. Now, sit down so we can talk. By the way, don’t rent that Avatar movie…it’s just full of CGI and historical inaccuracies.”

I asked him what he thought about reincarnation. He flashed this big cheesy grin with his eyes sparkling with an impish delight.

“You see Mang’, all you Western types keep arguing about the afterlife. In fact, before you even do that, you first argue if there is an afterlife at all and the ones who think there is, then argue about how it should work.

Of those who think there is, you argue about whether there are ghosts or whether there’s reincarnation. Some of you will argue that it must be the one or the other while others disagree and say that you could conceive of both being true.

Well, let me tell you something. Reincarnation is not something you do after you die. Why you ask? Think upon this. When you were incarnate, there wasn’t a cell in your body that was more than 7 years old. Even a ninety year old crone in a nursing home has the bones of a seven year old! The trouble is that the regeneration process isn’t quite so hot at that stage, but the regeneration takes place nonetheless.

When you were incarnate, most of your body consisted of water. The water you drank was made from hydrogen and oxygen. The very same hydrogen and oxygen that was formed when the Lord Shiva opened his eye some 14 billion years ago.

The sun shone down upon the Earth giving energy to the plants; that were eaten by the animals that were eaten by you. The protein you absorbed, some of that helped patch up the muscle you tore playing basketball with the neighborhood kids.

No Mangrove, you don’t die and reincarnate. In fact, there really is nothing else.”

Right gotta go. Every summer I like to follow T.A.P.S around the country and haunt all the houses they visit.

Ghostgrove

   


What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

AFK

  • We all
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 73111
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #23 on: June 11, 2010, 01:37:40 pm »
:mittens: 

Great read. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Mangrove

  • Founder of the David Foster Wallace Appreciation Society
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 11769
    • View Profile
Re: Mang's letters from the afterlife
« Reply #24 on: July 29, 2010, 10:08:20 pm »
Coming soon - Mang's letter from the afterlife, ultimate blasphemy edition!!

Available for pre-order from SSOOKN thread bumping division.

What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.