Author Topic: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST  (Read 73292 times)

Cramulus

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FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« on: June 22, 2010, 02:44:42 pm »


I CHALLENGE ALL OF YOU SIMPERING JIZZWIT FUCKS TO AN ORANGE EATING CONTEST

YOU'RE ALL ABOUT TO GET SCHOOLED, CRAMULUS STYLE

AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT I STAGGERED DOWNSTAIRS AND STARTED TRASH TALKING MY ROOM MATE. I WAS LIKE, "I BET I CAN EAT MORE ORANGES THAN YOU IN A DAY."

HE WAS LIKE, "ARE WE TALKING ABOUT EATING A SICKENING AMOUNT OF ORANGES FOR NO REASON AT ALL?"

I WAS LIKE, "HELL YES THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU FUCKING ASS TURBAN. I'M GOING TO EAT SO MANY ORANGES I'LL PISS TANG ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING GRAVE."

HE WAS LIKE "IT'S ON!!!!" AND I SHAT JIZZ EVERYWHERE LIKE THERE WAS A FIRE HOSE COMING OUT OF MY ASS AND THOROUGHLY SATISFYING YOUR MOTHER. SEXUALLY.

SO THIS MORNING ON THE WAY TO WORK I BOUGHT A BAG OF GODDAMN ORANGES. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU GIANT SPINNING TURDS WHO DOES NOT TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE IS GOING TO BE ENTERED INTO THE LEDGER OF PEOPLE WHOSE EYE SOCKETS I'M GOING TO ROMANCE WITH MY ELBOW WHILE I PLAY THE MEXICAN HAT DANCE ON YOUR LAME ASS FAIL BALLS.



IT'S ON

Cramulus

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2010, 02:49:56 pm »


GUESS WHO ATE AN ORANGE ALREADY?

ME

GUESS WHOSE ASS IS GETTING BANGED BY TEN NASTY GORILLAS IN THE ORANGE EATING CONTEST?

ALL OF YUO





Cramulus

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2010, 02:54:44 pm »
IN OTHER NEWS YOU BLOWGOATS ALL SUCK ASS

YOU COULDN'T EAT AN ORANGE IF YOU HAD A RUNNING START.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE JURASSIC AMOUNTS OF FAIL I EXPERIENCE EVERY DAY BY POSTING HERE, JUST BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT AND TAKE A SHIT

Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2010, 03:00:17 pm »
i tried this with bananas once... apparently bananas cause constipation :(

Cramulus

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2010, 03:01:57 pm »
HO HO HO HOLD THE PHONE

I'M ABOUT TO FINISH MY SECOND ORANGE

:cramstipated:

ALL OF YOU CAN EAT A SHIT TACO FROM GUAM FOR ALL I CARE

YOU'RE LIKE THE TACO BELL OF PRANCING FROLICKING DICKS. IF I WANTED A SINGING PHALLUS WHO SPENDS ALL DAY WEINERING ABOUT AND SLATHERING A KEYBOARD WITH BALLS I'D ORDER A CHALUPA AND CALL THE POLICE




Cramulus

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2010, 03:03:43 pm »
i tried this with bananas once... apparently bananas cause constipation :(

DID SOMEBODY SAY, HEY FRED, I'D REALLY LOVE TO HEAR YOU REAM ON AND ON LIKE YOU'RE CONDUCTING A SCIENTIFIC FILIBUSTER TO SEE IF YOU CAN REACH FATAL LEVELS OF FAIL? NO? THEN STUFF A BUTT PLUG IN YOUR MOUTH AND CRY YOURSELF A NEW ASSHOLE.

Richter

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2010, 03:11:57 pm »

CRAM IT CRAM.

ORANGES?  MORE LIKE BORANGES!
YOU CAN MOUTH MOLEST ALL THE SCREMAING FRUIT YOU LIKE.  CRAM AS MANY OF THOSE YIELDING PATHIC LIE DOWN TO GET FUCKED FRANCE-STYLE PARADISE FRUITS AS YOU LIKE.  WON'T CHANGE A THING.  MY POOP IS STRONGEST.  I'VE TAKEN 3 DUMPS TODAY.  STONE COLD SOLID FUCKERS.  EVERY BIT OF PLANT MATTER FOR 3 FURLONGS HAS WITHERED, AND SMALL CHILDREN ARE SOBBING FOR NO REASON.

SIMPEL FACT:  YOUR ASS IS GONNA GET BLOWN OPEN LIKE PEELED SLICED MONKY SNACKS.  YOUR SPHINCTER IS GONNA REMIND PEOPLE OF A MERCATOR PROJECTION.  


Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2010, 03:14:31 pm »
ORANGES = FAGFOOD
CHILLIES OR GTFO!!!!!
Not actually a meat product.
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Cramulus

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2010, 03:21:34 pm »
DEAREST RICHTER

WHILE YOU MAY BE THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF TAKING NINE DUMPS FASTER THAN I CAN TAKE NINE DUMPS, THIS CONTEST IS ACTUALLY ABOUT CRAMMING YOURSELF SO FULL OF CITRUS THAT EVEN YUOR DISTENDED WRINKLY SPHINCTER CAN'T HANDLE IT. BUT I PROMISE YOU THIS, TURD QUEEN: I CAN EAT MORE ORANGES THAN YOU CAN SHIT IN A DAY.

DO YOU WANT TO STEP? THEN STEP RIGHT UP AND GET A GOOD SNIFF OF MY WINNING ASS BECAUSE IT'S THE LAST THING YOU'RE GOING TO SEE BEFORE YOU NADS ARE SURGICALLY ATTACHED TO YOUR NIPPLES AND THEN RIPPED OFF BY A TEAM OF IDIOTS SPECIALLY TRAINED IN BADLY FUCKING UP WHATEVER SURGICAL PROCEDURE I'VE CONCOCTED FOR YOUR LUMPY SMEGMA POOL OF A FACE. WE'VE BEEN MALPRACTICING ALL MORNING, DILL SMOKE.

YOURS,

CRAMULUS

SuuCal

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2010, 03:23:52 pm »
I once did the Tropicana Run in less than 12 parsecs.

I've turned grapefruit into depth charges that have overturned motorboats in no wake zones to save the lives of Manatees.

I've played rugby with a goddamn papaya.

I have limed more Coronas from a tree in my front yard than Carter has liver pills.

I have shot kumquats into orbit using mortars on the Fourth of July.


SON, I AM THE PERSONIFICATION OF BACKYARD CITRUS UTILIZATION.


IT'S FUCKING ON!!!!! LIEK RED DAWN!

2 oranges down for breakfast, peeled by hand and everything, in 4 minutes and 6 seconds.
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"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

bds

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2010, 03:31:51 pm »
WHAT THE FUCK I'VE FUCKING EATEN FIVE SHITTING ORANGES ALREADY TODAY AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE WRINKLY ORANGE LITTLE FUCKS HOLY SHITBALLS MY ENTIRE HOUSE IS COVERED IN PEELINGS AND FECAL MATTER WOW HOLY DICKS YOU'RE GOING DOWN IN A HUGE ORANGE FLAMING FUCKNUGGET BALL OF OWNED CRAM

I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR "I FUCKING SUCK AND GOT PWND IN MY OWN ORANGE EATING COMPETITION" BADGE READY, CAUSE YOU'RE GUNNA NEED TO PIN IT TO YOUR BUTT ONCE I'M DONE WITH THIS SIXTH ORANGE


FUCKING SIX

Cramulus

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2010, 03:37:22 pm »
SIX ORANGES ALREADY? I CALL BULLSHIT. BLOW MY ASS AND CALL ME QUEEN FUCK


bds

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #12 on: June 22, 2010, 03:40:22 pm »
SIX ORANGES IN 45 MINUTES = ONE ORANGE PER 7.5 MINUTES


THAT'S FUCKING SLOW I COULD RUN A MILE QUICKER THAN THAT HOLY FUCK


FRUIT BOWL IS EMPTY NOW THOUGH, I BOW DOWN BEFORE THOSE WITH MORE CITRUS-EY FRUIT STORAGE AREAS

Cramulus

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2010, 03:43:43 pm »
THREE ORANGES HAVE BEEN CONSUMED BY CRAMULUS, CHAMPION OF THE HUMAN RACE. AFTER THE FOURTH ORANGE I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO TO THE CORNER STORE AND PISTOL WHIP A BITCH. THE VITAMIN C IS TURNING MY BLOOD ORANGE LIKE A VULCAN.

SuuCal

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2010, 03:44:36 pm »
If BDS really had 6 oranges, he's going to be peeing for the rest of the day and unable to continue. So fuck him.

3 oranges down here.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."