Author Topic: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST  (Read 70521 times)

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1005 on: October 08, 2016, 04:19:54 pm »
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?

Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!

-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.

I'm very slowly rebounding from a black depression that's brought me too close to a very different precipice these last couple months and getting myself all hopped up on ORANGES..... was appealing.  :p

Puns aside, I REALLY underestimated the fuckers by more than I even figured possible. Here's the fucked up part: Even in the worst of the agony I felt a certain thrill. It wasn't masochism. The pain was a massive distraction from the good feeling I had, in fact. I don't think it was a product of the bitter ass chemistry at play either, nor the "rush" of an altered state. I can do more with less and no side effects in meditation if I so choose, not my first rodeo as they say.

I think it was the unexpected challenge I brought on myself and the sense that even though I'd brought it on myself it was also mine alone to overcome. Again I only told the most technical parts of the experience for the reason stated, but the rest of that story feels like it helped me seal the shit these last couple months behind me.

I soppose I could say I was tossed and laid out for trespass, but they deposited me on the far side of their turf, where I was headed. They are now between me and what I left behind. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the feeling.

What you felt, son, was the thrill of being an ATHLETE. Of pushing your body to its limits. Being a competitive orange-eater isn't just about an event, it's about a mindset and a lifestyle. It's about a way of being. It's about being WILLING to eat orange after orange, even when the body and everyone around you says no. It's about KNOWING that you might shit yourself or vomit blood. It's about SMELLING the orange sweat for days afterward.

When you're an orange-eating competitor, you are more than just an athlete. You are AN HERO.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1006 on: October 08, 2016, 05:14:47 pm »
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?

Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!

-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.

I'm very slowly rebounding from a black depression that's brought me too close to a very different precipice these last couple months and getting myself all hopped up on ORANGES..... was appealing.  :p

Puns aside, I REALLY underestimated the fuckers by more than I even figured possible. Here's the fucked up part: Even in the worst of the agony I felt a certain thrill. It wasn't masochism. The pain was a massive distraction from the good feeling I had, in fact. I don't think it was a product of the bitter ass chemistry at play either, nor the "rush" of an altered state. I can do more with less and no side effects in meditation if I so choose, not my first rodeo as they say.

I think it was the unexpected challenge I brought on myself and the sense that even though I'd brought it on myself it was also mine alone to overcome. Again I only told the most technical parts of the experience for the reason stated, but the rest of that story feels like it helped me seal the shit these last couple months behind me.

I soppose I could say I was tossed and laid out for trespass, but they deposited me on the far side of their turf, where I was headed. They are now between me and what I left behind. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the feeling.

What you felt, son, was the thrill of being an ATHLETE. Of pushing your body to its limits. Being a competitive orange-eater isn't just about an event, it's about a mindset and a lifestyle. It's about a way of being. It's about being WILLING to eat orange after orange, even when the body and everyone around you says no. It's about KNOWING that you might shit yourself or vomit blood. It's about SMELLING the orange sweat for days afterward.

When you're an orange-eating competitor, you are more than just an athlete. You are AN HERO.

I swear the fuck to Christ two things

1. I heard goddamn majestic trumpets in my head as I started reading that, and they weren't just for me. They were for THE FUTURE of the many.

2. When you wrote AN HERO my brain translated it to something like not quite a British accent saying something like "an errow" in a winky sort of way like you might say horrible as "'orrible". As in an historic or an honorable... but. . You.. know that...
Anyway what I'm saying is that that particular pronunciation should be the "inside" version, methinks.


You know what I would rather do than eat ORANGES again? Almost literally anything else, including unmentionable things I might NEVER consider preferable except by comparison TO ORANGES. I have eaten exactly one since last time just to see if I could, and I did. My body no longer seems to instinctively consider them food, but recognized the sugar and vitamins enough to get going... "if that's how it's going to be then". Just one. It felt like I'd left a little reminder of myself behind after, a memento for them of my gratitude for their kind treatment on my way through.

Funny story, true story. Things got awfully anthropomorphic up in this head here. Didn't place the accent and THAT seemed a neat effect, novel linguistic permutations are rather rare. Usually it's a more recognizable set of stuff that the mind builds imagery from. Not quite on par with shouting in a truly foreign language, but hey.

When I was peeling the one since I happened to notice that the sticker said Product of South Africa and it clicked. That was the accent.

The ORANGES will see me again. I'll be more respectably prepared next time.

( :horrormirth: "WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING??" That's the part of me that's not on board, loosely translated from the neural signals of the parts of me that have to actual EAT them, but they don't actually have a vote.)
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

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Freeky

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1007 on: October 11, 2016, 11:48:46 pm »
This thread is the best thing to ever happen to the internet. 
If someone does the Fine, youre right, Im clearly a terrible person, Im Satan, Im the worst person alive, I should just die thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

Vanadium Gryllz

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1008 on: December 05, 2016, 07:01:09 pm »
I hear their siren song...
"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1009 on: December 05, 2016, 07:27:43 pm »
I hear their siren song...

This became my unofficial theme song for the last competition. I hadn't seen this video until now and it made me give even MORE association.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_mSmOcmk7uQ
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Freeky

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1010 on: December 05, 2016, 07:58:57 pm »
I hear their siren song...

Oh, dude.  The trees in my backyard are full of ORANGES.  They'll be ripe in the next few days.

I CHALLENGE THEE!
If someone does the Fine, youre right, Im clearly a terrible person, Im Satan, Im the worst person alive, I should just die thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

Freeky

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1011 on: December 05, 2016, 07:59:34 pm »
However, it'll have to wait until after Wednesday, beacuse my laptop is getting fixed that day.
If someone does the Fine, youre right, Im clearly a terrible person, Im Satan, Im the worst person alive, I should just die thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1012 on: December 05, 2016, 08:53:15 pm »
I am here for this.
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Vanadium Gryllz

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1013 on: December 05, 2016, 09:22:33 pm »
Uhh i'm gonna have to buy more oranges because those got turned into orange vodka.

And I don't know how I feel about turning my insides into outsides in the near future.
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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1014 on: December 05, 2016, 09:38:22 pm »
yOU MIGHT dIE!!!
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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1015 on: December 05, 2016, 11:29:29 pm »
This thread is now 68 pages of people not learning a damn thing. And I love you all for it.

May the gods have mercy on your bowels for citrus surely will not.
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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1016 on: December 05, 2016, 11:33:59 pm »
Uhh i'm gonna have to buy more oranges because those got turned into orange vodka.

And I don't know how I feel about turning my insides into outsides in the near future.

Can you get it done by Thursday? Thursday is shrink day and I can't think of a better day to do something hornet-fucking stupid.
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1017 on: December 06, 2016, 12:13:00 am »
This thread is now 68 pages of people not learning a damn thing. And I love you all for it.

May the gods have mercy on your bowels for citrus surely will not.

Only the first two were any fun.

The 3rd one was just a bunch of people quietly damaging themselves with fruit.
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The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1018 on: December 06, 2016, 01:02:13 am »
It was a very somber occasion.  :|
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #1019 on: December 06, 2016, 12:52:37 pm »
The Catholics have the flagellum.

Muslims have Ashura.

Discordians have fucking oranges.