Author Topic: "To the Fairest"  (Read 1335 times)

PopeTom

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"To the Fairest"
« on: September 26, 2010, 07:01:08 pm »
As we all know the Apple of Discord had engraved upon it "To the Fairest".
Being tossed into the wedding of Peleus and Thetis it started a bickering match between three of the most iconic sorority girls ever.
This lead to the judgment of Paris which lead to the Trojan War.

My question to PD.com is what would have changed if rather than saying "To the Fairest" the apple said "To the Fattest".

Would the goddesses then gotten into a fight over which one of them was the tubbier or the group.  Would it just have gone to Dionysus (or perhaps Demeter)?
What would happen to the poor mortal (be it Paris or not) who had to tell one of the Olympian Goddesses she was a bit thick around the middle.
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

the last yatto

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Re: "To the Fattest"
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2010, 10:27:53 pm »
Id assume Hera would give it to Zeus then
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Storebrand

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2010, 12:47:49 am »
Can't deny a measuring tape.

The Great Pope of OUTSIDE

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2010, 02:47:32 am »
Couldn't the gods continually reshape themselves to be less fat?

Also I think Dionysus would win that apple hands down anyway. Can't beat a beer-belly.
There are times when I imagine God laughing until it cries, shouting, "I am going to fuck ALL your minds over, and you're going to pay me for it!"

The Johnny

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2010, 05:40:39 am »

Ive always considered the golden apple as a present for Thetis that got stolen by three bitches.

So i would think it was an insult to the bride.

Rumckle

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2010, 01:53:35 pm »
Ironically, one of our school productions was the story of Hades kidnapping Persephone (Demeter's daughter) and Demeter was played by the skinniest girl in that year.
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2010, 07:11:29 pm »

Ive always considered the golden apple as a present for Thetis that got stolen by three bitches.

So i would think it was an insult to the bride.

This
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2010, 08:31:34 pm »

Ive always considered the golden apple as a present for Thetis that got stolen by three bitches.

So i would think it was an insult to the bride.

The prettiest one at any wedding is the Bride... even when she isn't.
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Cramulus

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2010, 03:47:23 pm »
TO THE FATTEST ONE is a hilarious idea and would make a great comic strip or something

to me, the apple represents human desire. By rolling it into the party, Eris brings out the goddesses vanity, their jealousy, and their desire for approval.

When Paris had to choose between the three, they promised him all sorts of great things. Had he been asked to choose the ugliest goddess, they probably would have all threatened him, rather than promising him some Mediterranean hottie.

PopeTom

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2010, 07:39:16 pm »
When Paris had to choose between the three, they promised him all sorts of great things. Had he been asked to choose the ugliest goddess, they probably would have all threatened him, rather than promising him some Mediterranean hottie.

I can see the goddesses pulling the reverse of their offers.

Like Aphrodite promising him the love of the most beautiful woman in the world as long as he pick Hera as the fattest.
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

The Great Pope of OUTSIDE

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Re: "To the Fairest"
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2010, 01:19:39 am »
I think though that the _desire_ to be called the fairest was the main driving point of that story. If it had said "To the Fattest", there's really nothing stopping them from throwing it away...unless Eris cursed it or something.

Which she could have done.
There are times when I imagine God laughing until it cries, shouting, "I am going to fuck ALL your minds over, and you're going to pay me for it!"

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