Author Topic: I present to y'all a teaser...  (Read 362 times)

Payne

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I present to y'all a teaser...
« on: May 08, 2011, 08:43:13 pm »
...of what I've been working on the last little while, the Holy ScriptureTM Roger wanted me to compose after my Holy QuestTM. The idea for this came to me during my caffeine and other substances withdrawl. I've been shaping the idea ever since and today I wrote down the first lines (which will most assuredly be edited all to fuck in time).

So here it is, the first bit of part one (the Proem in the genres parlance).



   I ask, oh muse, you sing of Lexakles
   the Blueshifter and belov'd of Eris.
   Brought to Illiam by Discordia
   who laid 'pon him proud elucidation
   as in his heart he knew not who he loved.
   Speak then of him coming near from afar,
   of great conflict and destinied balance.
   Tell of the trials he tested, triumph
   in Trojan, Greek and in Eris' name
   so doing in wearing glory and fame,
   to stand before bittered foes, Lexakles!
   Jester to a king who hath not a throne -
   Become grave man of great spirit a'fire,
   Builder and razer, poet'cal liar,
   A warrior skilled, strifing discord blows,
   Final to trickster whom contention sows.
   All this, and more did The Blushifter wring,
   to sing of his song is life to my lyre.
   When all glory is dead and heroes, gone,
   lord Lexakles will be gold gainst our brass.
   In balance, in truth, in beauty withal
   conquering madness, deceiving the fall
   of humans who know not the truth most foul.



I intend to continue working on this as and when I can, and further parts will probably be thrown down in literate chaotic.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

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Re: I present to y'all a teaser...
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2011, 08:47:01 pm »
Wow. I had not realized you were so poetic. This is so kick ass.
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Payne

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Re: I present to y'all a teaser...
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2011, 08:48:09 pm »
I cannot PROPERLY Iambic Pentameter, but at least every line is ten syllables :D

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

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Re: I present to y'all a teaser...
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2011, 08:49:51 pm »
No one can properly iambic pentameter. Not even the bastards who thought it up. My attempts at sonnets . . . unless the subject is so simplistic as to consist of three letter words . . . are abominations in the eyes of poetry. I like this. It makes me want to go back to hacking away at sonnets again. Only without so much SeriousTM and a lot more fun, instead.

I also want more of the story.
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"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Payne

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Re: I present to y'all a teaser...
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2011, 05:35:56 pm »
Anyone else have any thoughts or suggestions?

Rumckle

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Re: I present to y'all a teaser...
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2011, 07:46:15 am »
 :lol:
Awesome!

And as CPD said, don't worry about not having perfect iambic pentameter.
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: I present to y'all a teaser...
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2011, 04:47:53 pm »
Nice.
"The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way, and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theatre."
- Frank Zappa

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: I present to y'all a teaser...
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2011, 04:48:22 pm »
And as CPD said, don't worry about not having perfect iambic pentameter.

Isn't that stuff illegal in England?
"The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way, and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theatre."
- Frank Zappa

Luna

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Re: I present to y'all a teaser...
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2011, 05:31:38 pm »
Good stuff!
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I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

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