Author Topic: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™  (Read 13451 times)

*GrumpButt*

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #30 on: May 10, 2011, 06:22:49 pm »
First Moon landing. What really happened?
*sigh* You have to be kidding me.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #31 on: May 10, 2011, 06:23:26 pm »
Speaking along those lines, let's hear the real story behind Catherine the Great and that horse.

You tell me.

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #32 on: May 10, 2011, 06:25:40 pm »
How many and who killed JFK?

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #33 on: May 10, 2011, 06:26:33 pm »
Tunguska Explosion of 1908.  Meteor, or Tesla fucking about?

As documented in the Encyclopedia Ricterania, that was the tragic result of the first and only attempt to mix vindaloo and vodka in the human body.  Note that this wasn't an explosion, but rather an implosion, resulting in acres of trees pointing toward the erstwhile kitchen/lab, not a few of which were hauled up the arse of the test subject.  The matter was put under lock & key, and not even released after the fall of the iron curtain.
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Eve Hill

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #34 on: May 10, 2011, 06:26:40 pm »
What really happened during the Apollo 13 mission?

Good one.  The official story has more holes in it than Gabrielle Gifford.  Supposedly, an oxygen tank exploded, tearing a hole in the side of the service module, also causing their electrical power to fail.

However, we all know that oxygen isn't explosive, or our atmosphere would blow up the first time someone carelessly lit a cigarette.

No, what really happened is that Ken Mattingly, the original CM pilot, got a case of the ass when he was yanked from the mission.  Calling in old gambling debts, Mattingly was able to have a bomb put aboard the spaceship.  The bomb would have destroyed the spaceship entirely, but Richard Nixon had caught wind of the plot, and had Spiro Agnew stow away in the service module with a scuba tank.  Agnew's bulk absorbed most of the explosion, but tragically, Agnew was blown into space, where he froze solid, eventually reentering as a solid block of blubber that impacted on some lady's house in England, killing her stone dead.  This was blamed on a passing airliner's "faulty" septic plug.

 :spit:

 :mittens:

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #35 on: May 10, 2011, 06:26:58 pm »
How many and who killed JFK?

One of the Oswalds acted alone.
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Luna

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #36 on: May 10, 2011, 06:27:33 pm »
Tunguska Explosion of 1908.  Meteor, or Tesla fucking about?

As documented in the Encyclopedia Ricterania, that was the tragic result of the first and only attempt to mix vindaloo and vodka in the human body.  Note that this wasn't an explosion, but rather an implosion, resulting in acres of trees pointing toward the erstwhile kitchen/lab, not a few of which were hauled up the arse of the test subject.  The matter was put under lock & key, and not even released after the fall of the iron curtain.

 :lulz:
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Dysfunctional Cunt

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #37 on: May 10, 2011, 06:27:45 pm »
Little Big Horn?  What really happened there?

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #38 on: May 10, 2011, 06:27:52 pm »
First Moon landing. What really happened?

Not touching that.  Buzz Aldrin would kill me with one punch, as has been documented on this board.
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Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #39 on: May 10, 2011, 06:28:21 pm »
What happened to the people on Roanoke Island? WTF is "CROTOAN"?
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #40 on: May 10, 2011, 06:30:40 pm »
Little Big Horn?  What really happened there?

"Where'd all these fucking indians come from?"
- General Custer, last words.

Well, it's really simple.  Custer was set to wipe out an entire tribe in one blow, but he made two crucial mistakes.

1.  He offended Tonto, who then refused to scout for him, and

2.  He failed to hire Roy Rogers (who would fucking anybody while singing a trail song.

The results were predictable.  
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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #41 on: May 10, 2011, 06:31:38 pm »
Little Big Horn?  What really happened there?

"Where'd all these fucking indians come from?"
- General Custer, last words.

Well, it's really simple.  Custer was set to wipe out an entire tribe in one blow, but he made two crucial mistakes.

1.  He offended Tonto, who then refused to scout for him, and

2.  He failed to hire Roy Rogers (who would fucking anybody while singing a trail song.

The results were predictable.  

I fucking love the movie Little Big Man.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #42 on: May 10, 2011, 06:32:32 pm »
What happened to the people on Roanoke Island? WTF is "CROTOAN"?

They got sick of waiting, and caught a ride with some Dutch guys.  They carved "Croatoan" on a tree as a mindfuck, and eventually settled in the "Red Hook" neighborhood of New York, where they lived happily ever after as pimps and prostitutes...Hence the term "Hooker".
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #43 on: May 10, 2011, 06:33:21 pm »
Little Big Horn?  What really happened there?

"Where'd all these fucking indians come from?"
- General Custer, last words.

Well, it's really simple.  Custer was set to wipe out an entire tribe in one blow, but he made two crucial mistakes.

1.  He offended Tonto, who then refused to scout for him, and

2.  He failed to hire Roy Rogers (who would fucking anybody while singing a trail song.

The results were predictable.  

I fucking love the movie Little Big Man.

Utter crap.  Dustin Hoffman doesn't look anything like Tonto.
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Luna

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Re: ITT, You ask TGRR anything about history, and get the REAL TRUTH™
« Reply #44 on: May 10, 2011, 06:35:37 pm »
Chicago Fire.  1871.

Did the cow do it?  Always thought that was a lot like blaming the dog for knocking Mom's vase off the table.
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"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

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"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."