Author Topic: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.  (Read 2894 times)

*GrumpButt*

  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 9924
  • Glorious Sinner of Contagion
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #15 on: May 11, 2011, 04:45:04 pm »
at least you dont gotta Kessel run it in 88mpggigahhhwatttsons of power!

toast

hi branching out

this forum is a whole world to explore now oh my god

YOU

Stay the fuck out of my threads
*sigh* You have to be kidding me.

Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 80835
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #16 on: May 13, 2011, 11:13:04 am »
( http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=15046.0 )



FILTER CUP HOLDER METHOD > FRENCH PRESS > DRIP MACHINE

I use the drip machine only when I need large amounts.

I honestly prefer this method to the french press, the above method is by far the best way to create the most flavourful coffee I know of. Four scoops is quite a lot, BTW, but it works because this method doesn't impart that particular "sour" (-ish) flavour you get when you make too strong a batch in a regular drip machine.

When I use the filter cup method in combination with freshly ground beans (1:1 arabica/robusta, maybe 2:1), I get simply the best coffee I ever tasted, anywhere.

For some reason I'm never that impressed with even a good quality espresso (well okay, a really really good one is of course good, because really good things are just good). Cappuccino is most often not strong enough, when it is, it is good, but you never know until you've ordered it.

Above method + fresh ground coffee beans = consistenly best coffee ever.

I also have a vintage vacuum coffeemaker, which I bought because it was 1 cheap secondhand and 2 because it looks so damn fucking SCIENCEY!! But I have never tried it. Anyone got any experience with one of those?
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 80835
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #17 on: May 13, 2011, 11:14:41 am »
Oh I almost forgot, the point of posting that of course, is that when your drip machine breaks, a single-cup filter holder only costs about $2 or so.

Only downside is, over the long run, it uses more ground coffee. BUT IT TASTES SO MUCH BETTER.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87066
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #18 on: May 13, 2011, 01:04:58 pm »

AUTOMATIC GRIND AND BREW WITH A TIMER SET TO WHEN YOU WAKE UP > FILTER CUP HOLDER METHOD > FRENCH PRESS > DRIP MACHINE


There can be no disputing this.  You wake up, and a freshly ground cup of coffee is already waiting for you. 

Luna

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104584
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #19 on: May 13, 2011, 01:06:07 pm »

AUTOMATIC GRIND AND BREW WITH A TIMER SET TO WHEN YOU WAKE UP > FILTER CUP HOLDER METHOD > FRENCH PRESS > DRIP MACHINE


There can be no disputing this.  You wake up, and a freshly ground cup of coffee is already waiting for you. 

Had one of those, back before I started drinking coffee.  (Yeah, I know.  Late bloomer.)  Used to set the fucking thing up for my husband.  Worst thing was cleaning that bitch out daily.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87066
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #20 on: May 13, 2011, 01:20:50 pm »
If emptying coffe grounds and sticking the parts under running water was the "worst thing", then my point stands.  How is that any different than any other method?  You're left with coffee grounds, and the brewing tools.  You clean them.  Rinse, repeat.

Luna

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104584
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #21 on: May 13, 2011, 01:22:51 pm »
If emptying coffe grounds and sticking the parts under running water was the "worst thing", then my point stands.  How is that any different than any other method?  You're left with coffee grounds, and the brewing tools.  You clean them.  Rinse, repeat.

The model we had (I can't remember, now) had to be completely disassembled and scraped out.  The grounds went everywhere in there.  And, I got grumpy doing it every day, when I didn't drink coffee, and the only time it was noticed that there WAS coffee was the mornings when there WASN'T.

A "thanks for making coffee," once in awhile would have gone a LONG way.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

AFK

  • We all
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 73111
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #22 on: May 13, 2011, 01:23:25 pm »
I contemplated getting one of those combo-deals, but just ended up getting a regular drip machine and a separate coffee grinder.  It actually works out for me to do it separately because the loud sound of the grinder helps me wake up all of the lazy, sleepy-heads in the house.  

And I get fabulous coffee!
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87066
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #23 on: May 13, 2011, 01:29:38 pm »
If emptying coffe grounds and sticking the parts under running water was the "worst thing", then my point stands.  How is that any different than any other method?  You're left with coffee grounds, and the brewing tools.  You clean them.  Rinse, repeat.

The model we had (I can't remember, now) had to be completely disassembled and scraped out.  The grounds went everywhere in there.  And, I got grumpy doing it every day, when I didn't drink coffee, and the only time it was noticed that there WAS coffee was the mornings when there WASN'T.

A "thanks for making coffee," once in awhile would have gone a LONG way.

In my professional opinion, the problem did not necessarily involve the coffee maker, per se.

Luna

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104584
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #24 on: May 13, 2011, 01:36:02 pm »
If emptying coffe grounds and sticking the parts under running water was the "worst thing", then my point stands.  How is that any different than any other method?  You're left with coffee grounds, and the brewing tools.  You clean them.  Rinse, repeat.

The model we had (I can't remember, now) had to be completely disassembled and scraped out.  The grounds went everywhere in there.  And, I got grumpy doing it every day, when I didn't drink coffee, and the only time it was noticed that there WAS coffee was the mornings when there WASN'T.

A "thanks for making coffee," once in awhile would have gone a LONG way.

In my professional opinion, the problem did not necessarily involve the coffee maker, per se.

Yes, well.  I no longer have the coffee maker, and I am in the process of shedding the husband.

Having a spectacularly better time, both with the $10 coffee pot, and with the friends I hang with.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Dysfunctional Cunt

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 54764
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #25 on: May 13, 2011, 02:26:23 pm »
 :cry:

I so miss coffee..... 

 :cry:


Doctor says no more coffee for Khara. 

Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 80835
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #26 on: May 13, 2011, 02:38:50 pm »
BTW one trick with the filter cup method I forgot to mention (as I just made one :D), as you stir the sludge, a fine brown foam will form on top of it. I believe this is called crema, and you should try to spoon it into your cup (bypassing the filter) if in any way possible without getting too much coffee grinds in.

It's basically the same protein scum you get when boiling any kind of beans, but it's good in coffee.

LMNO's method is definitely superior on grounds of convenience. And since I've never tasted his coffee I can't say whether the filter-cup method has superior flavour / gives more "body" to the coffee. Sounds like the machine's probably fancy enough though, and fresh beans always help.

However, as long as all my coffee equipment is in their right place, manually making a cup of coffee is pretty much the only thing I can do with those first 5 minutes of zombie state anyway :-P

Still, convenience. I will keep this in mind for when I can afford such a device. [not so much $$$, rather about spending priorities, btw]

I love my coffee grinder. It's pretty, not very big, and reasonably quiet, too. Been a while since I've had beans to grind with, though. In the supermarket they are more expensive than the pre-ground vacuum sealed packets. Which is silly, because technically the beans are the half-product :) , I guess I need to search online to find a good deal.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Pope Pixie Pickle

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 54399
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #27 on: May 13, 2011, 06:46:52 pm »
i hate coffee. TIA
"YOU SAY CULTURAL MARXISM LIKE IT'S A BAD THING"

Thurnez Isa

  • Director of the Church of Pornography and Jesus
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 32178
  • SCREAMING PRIMATE
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #28 on: May 13, 2011, 07:04:59 pm »
Lately all I've been doing is finding a dollar 50 and buying my coffee at a coffee shop.
Yes I know it's horrible tasting and made of ground Vietnamese orphans but I just can't be hassled as of lately.
Through me the way to the city of woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost.
Justice moved my maker on high.
Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and Primal love.
Before me nothing was but things eternal, and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.

Dante

AFK

  • We all
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 73111
    • View Profile
Re: COFFEE MAKER FAIL.
« Reply #29 on: May 13, 2011, 07:08:33 pm »
What a coincidence.  I just got back from a Tim Hortons. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.