Author Topic: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS  (Read 7465 times)

Cramulus

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A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« on: June 01, 2011, 02:49:54 am »
LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE PUKES
I'm Gary Fucking Gygax,
the Father of RPGs.


Today, the
DUNGEON MASTER
is kind.

I hereby grant you one 1st level
Dungeons and Dragons spell
 - from any edition
 - once per day.






Which one would you take?


1st edition spell list: http://www.mjyoung.net/dungeon/char/step018.html
2nd edition spell list: http://www.wizardmark.com/spellinv/spells.asp   (Protip: select level 1, & TSR only, hit search)
3rd edition spell list: http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/lists/spells&tablesort=5 (this one works too)
4th edition spell list: http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.F4ATnyO$apR/rev.28 excuse the shitty cut & paste

(please point out if there are better lists out there)
« Last Edit: June 01, 2011, 05:58:41 pm by Cramulus »

President Television

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2011, 03:10:34 am »
Bigby's Feeling Fingers.  :lmnuendo:
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

Luna

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2011, 03:17:01 am »
Decisions, decisions.

"Audible Glamer," the ULTIMATE whoopie cushion...

"Disarm" would be entertaining for fencing tournaments, but just once per day?

"Find Familiar" would be cool, but if it's the ONLY spell, evar...  No...

"Laeral's Dancing Whip" would certainly get me invited to the wrong sorts of parties...

"Summon Fetish Spirit."  I do not think that means what I think it means.

"Feather Fall."  There's a winner.  Even if I don't NEED it, the practical joke applications are endless.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbuttsô
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

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Cain

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2011, 03:17:52 am »
Blatantly Charm Person.

In anything but the most hack and slash of campaigns, the ability to make people see your every action and word in the most favourable light should be at least a level 5 spell.

The fact that people in D&D settings apparently still trust wizards, for the most part, despite this being one of the easiest spells to cast, is probably a testament to the stupidity of those settings inhabitants (and the writers).

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2011, 03:18:40 am »
TGRR'S EXPLODING HEAD OF RAGE.

Sure, it kills the caster, but it's gonna look GREAT in the movie!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2011, 05:06:41 am »
Charm person.  Oh hell. 

But then there's also find familiar, which...

No.  Charm person.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2011, 05:15:37 am »
I'm gonna settle on shocking grasp, just to FUCK ELECTRONICS UP.

And people, of course.  Loads and loads of people with my hand print scorched into their faces.

I get what Cain is saying, but I'm out to influence people without making friends.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cain

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2011, 05:27:46 am »
They'd only be my friend up to the point I convinced them to jump in front of an arrow for me.  Which is a reasonable request, as my quest is far more important than they are.

Eater of Clowns

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2011, 05:32:36 am »
FEATHER FALL


WHEEEEEEE
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Freeky

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2011, 05:53:59 am »
FEATHER FALL


WHEEEEEEE

"I'm gonna do it, man!"
"Please, Mr. Clowns, don't jump!"
"I'm doing it!  GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!"
-jump-

At the bottom...

"LOL J/K"
If someone does the ďFine, youíre right, Iím clearly a terrible person, Iím Satan, Iím the worst person alive, I should just dieĒ thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

Cainad (dec.)

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2011, 05:56:08 am »
They'd only be my friend up to the point I convinced them to jump in front of an arrow for me.  Which is a reasonable request, as my quest is far more important than they are.

I don't think I'd ever have the Charisma to pull that off. Asking a victim of charm to do something obviously suicidal usually breaks the spell.


I'll have to flip a coin to choose between disguise self and comprehend languages...

Cain

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #11 on: June 01, 2011, 05:57:38 am »
"Detect Alignment" allows you to pick Lawful Good dupes.  Then you just have to talk about your noble quest and its importance, and wait for someone with the weapons to appear.  They'll do the rest.

Freeky

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #12 on: June 01, 2011, 06:12:50 am »
Stone Fist.


There's nothing quite like having your pimp slap do lethal damage.
If someone does the ďFine, youíre right, Iím clearly a terrible person, Iím Satan, Iím the worst person alive, I should just dieĒ thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

President Television

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2011, 06:16:52 am »
Stone Fist.


There's nothing quite like having your pimp slap do lethal damage.

You could get the same result and much more versatility with Summon Monster I, assuming Steven Seagal or any of the actors from Troll 2 are summonable.
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

Freeky

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Re: A NERDY GENIE APPEARS
« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2011, 06:25:31 am »
Stone Fist.


There's nothing quite like having your pimp slap do lethal damage.

You could get the same result and much more versatility with Summon Monster I, assuming Steven Seagal or any of the actors from Troll 2 are summonable.

Why Summon others to do what I will derive more satisfaction from to do myself?
If someone does the ďFine, youíre right, Iím clearly a terrible person, Iím Satan, Iím the worst person alive, I should just dieĒ thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in