Author Topic: So last night...  (Read 112 times)

P3nT4gR4m

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So last night...
« on: August 08, 2015, 06:38:25 pm »
We're sitting in a tent the size of Casablanca, on the northernmost tip of scotland, watching ted2 with korean subtitles and puffing the last of the stash. Next thing there's a fkin helicopter, so low it's shaking the tent. Had to pause the movie, couldn't hear shit. Deep, thrummy engines, not one of those little rich-wanker fuckabouts, sounded like search and rescue. Nipped outside to see WTF and sure enough it's a rescue chopper, spotlight on the shoreline, probably looking for some idiot tourist drifting out to sea on a lilo. Seriously - shit happens so often nobody even bothers to laugh anymore.

It was dark, all you could really make out were lights and suddenly I wasn't looking at one of those swanky new SAR choppers, it was an apache gunship. "Maybe it's finally happening" I thought to myself, "maybe this is the zombie apocalypse!"

Of course I knew, deep down inside that it wasn't but I was just about baked enough to entertain the fantasy for a few minutes. The crowd that had gathered to stare at the pretty lights in the sky, one of them suddenly screaming "I've been bitten". Chain reaction. Running for the car, driving to the water, mowing down undead, rammstein blaring at 10, laughing maniacally. That's my dream of the perfect world.

Shattered.

They fished some fat english turd out the water this morning. He'd been doing fine until he got caught in a tiderace off the headland and lost the lilo. Fucker didn't even have the decency to wake up and bite the paramedic.

Fuck this planet! :argh!:
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The Wizard Joseph

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Re: So last night...
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2015, 09:22:24 pm »
I still play Plague Inc. for a reason! It's like my quiet little hope to myself that the shit will indeed go down one day. I even got the Zombie and Neurax worm expansions. Only time I've ever actually put money into a "freemium" game and worth every shekel.

Sorry you didn't get the apocalypse you were hoping for.Sorry with a fist!!  :argh!:

 So hows the herb out in Scotland?
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

P3nT4gR4m

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Re: So last night...
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2015, 10:10:24 pm »
So hows the herb out in Scotland?

It's a piss poor, undercured, 90% cabbage and stalk substitute for dried oregano - dipped in diesel and broken glass so it at least does something to you - atrocity of a thing. Id be lost without it, man.
:hippie:
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: So last night...
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2015, 10:55:00 pm »
So hows the herb out in Scotland?

It's a piss poor, undercured, 90% cabbage and stalk substitute for dried oregano - dipped in diesel and broken glass so it at least does something to you - atrocity of a thing. Id be lost without it, man.
:hippie:

 :lol: Right on man! Any port in a storm.

By comparison the stuff out in this particular western part of Wisconsin where I live is almost etherially pretty. College town with a world record for most bars packed into one street. The kids expect a certain standard apparently.
Where I'm from, on the south east coastal area, there you will find the brickiest, most questionable and stomped on stuff. But you do get what you pay for usually.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz: