Author Topic: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free  (Read 48494 times)

East Coast Hustle

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Yeah, my lungs recently started plotting to kill me. It's a race now. I'm pretty sure I can kill them first.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

P3nT4gR4m

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Any time I hear anyone extolling the virtues of nature and how wondrous biology is, I make a point of explaining to them that no it isn't. Biology is the most half arsed, shonky crock of shit platform the world has ever witnessed. It's over complicated, unreliable bullshit, with pretty much every single function achieved in the stupidest way imaginable.

My plan is to replace every dumb part of this piece of shit vehicle with something that actually works at earliest available opportunity. If nothing becomes available then cascade systemic failure is well underway. Another 10 years max and I'll be checking the fuck out. :argh!:
Not actually a meat product.
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Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Good Reverend Roger

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Any time I hear anyone extolling the virtues of nature and how wondrous biology is, I make a point of explaining to them that no it isn't. Biology is the most half arsed, shonky crock of shit platform the world has ever witnessed. It's over complicated, unreliable bullshit, with pretty much every single function achieved in the stupidest way imaginable.

My plan is to replace every dumb part of this piece of shit vehicle with something that actually works at earliest available opportunity. If nothing becomes available then cascade systemic failure is well underway. Another 10 years max and I'll be checking the fuck out. :argh!:

Yeah, electricity is way more elegant, as far as I'm concerned.  It does exactly what it's supposed to do.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

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It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.


Welcome to not being a kid anymore.   :lulz:

I woulda kept on with it for a while longer if my glands hadn't tried to kill me  :argh!:

You aren't a kid anymore the first time one of your organs, etc, betrays you.

Fittingly, this moment for me was ass polyps.

For me it was heart, brain, then pancreas.  They are all TRAITORS and I plan on having them removed as soon as is practical.

Brain, Back then brain again. When the surgery is finally invented to extract the tiny bastard behind my right eye, I want him taken out alive  so I can kill the fucker myself. Slowly. I owe that fucker some serious pain.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

P3nT4gR4m

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Any time I hear anyone extolling the virtues of nature and how wondrous biology is, I make a point of explaining to them that no it isn't. Biology is the most half arsed, shonky crock of shit platform the world has ever witnessed. It's over complicated, unreliable bullshit, with pretty much every single function achieved in the stupidest way imaginable.

My plan is to replace every dumb part of this piece of shit vehicle with something that actually works at earliest available opportunity. If nothing becomes available then cascade systemic failure is well underway. Another 10 years max and I'll be checking the fuck out. :argh!:

Yeah, electricity is way more elegant, as far as I'm concerned.  It does exactly what it's supposed to do.

You'll be able to answer this with your engineering chops - how many moving parts do we need for a mechanical arm with 2 ball joints, a hinge and a grip at the end? If your answer is less than a couple of trillion then you get the gig :lulz:
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Nature is basically all about the good enough. Evolution is based on the principle that if you didn't die, you're successful.

It's a pretty low bar but it's still better than anything humans have come up with.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Ziegejunge

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My wife and I are starting week four of drastically reducing our sugar intake. Reasonable quantities of fresh fruit and occasional beetroot juice is where it's at now, although I did chug a couple of Gatorades over the weekend despite knowing their sugar content (I had to work outside in the 95 degree heat and walked over 17 miles while doing so, according to my pedometer, and both the heat exposure and activity levels were way beyond my current routine.)

We've started eating meals, almost exclusively, with ingredients we can pronounce and understand. This and the aforementioned sugar avoidance make a big difference! We're both already looking and "feeling" lighter and more energetic.

It's usually easier for me to adopt a better workout/activity regimen if I've corrected my diet first. Sugar withdrawal is a bitch, though, and hit me this time around the second week. It's not too different from having the flu in a lot of ways: chills, aches, nausea, headaches, etc.

And of course this week both offices we share a building with brought us donuts. Nice of them. So far I've been good about avoiding them and the other office goodies, but damned if their siren song isn't strong! I remember last time I did this, I started dreaming vividly about pastries. I haven't gotten to that point yet this time, but it wouldn't surprise me at all if one were to occur at this point.

Annnnnnnd now Sugar Sugar by The Archies is stuck in my head.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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We've started eating meals, almost exclusively, with ingredients we can pronounce and understand. This and the aforementioned sugar avoidance make a big difference! We're both already looking and "feeling" lighter and more energetic.


Better not take Organic Chemistry.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”