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Author Topic: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.  (Read 289 times)

Doktor Howl

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ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« on: June 21, 2011, 05:22:55 pm »
#1 OZYCRAPULOUS

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered toilet lies, whose commode
And blasted lid, and veneer of cold and crusted poop
Tell that its sculptor well those movements read
Which yet survive, sloppped on these lifeless things,
The hand that wiped them and the anus that bled.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, King of Tucson:
Look on my poop, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The loose and level turds stretch far away.
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"Keep the stupid ones lazy and the smart ones scared."
- Knuckles

"Just say no to drugs.  Keep saying no to them, no matter what they say to you.  In fact, scream at them and threaten to kill them and roll around on the floor barking like a dog.  Pretty soon people will give you your own room, and come every few hours to give you drugs."
- Rev DynaSoar

Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2011, 05:26:20 pm »
#2:  The Horace Smith Version:

In Tucson's filthy silence, all alone,
Stands a gigantic turd, which far off throws
The only shadow that the Desert knows:
"I am great DOKTOR HOWL," carved in the porcelain throne,
"The King of Kings; this mighty shit shows
"The smears upon my hand." The City's gone,
Nought but the turd remaining to disclose
The site of this forgotten water closet.
We wonder, and some Hunter may express
Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness
Where Chicago stood, holding the septic tank in place,
He meets some feces huge, and stops to guess
What powerful but unrecorded race
Once shat in that annihilated place.

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"Keep the stupid ones lazy and the smart ones scared."
- Knuckles

"Just say no to drugs.  Keep saying no to them, no matter what they say to you.  In fact, scream at them and threaten to kill them and roll around on the floor barking like a dog.  Pretty soon people will give you your own room, and come every few hours to give you drugs."
- Rev DynaSoar

M. Nigel Salt

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2011, 05:27:25 pm »
 :x Evocative.
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Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2011, 05:34:38 pm »
Quote from: Your Mom on June 21, 2011, 05:27:25 pm
:x Evocative.

Tomorrow, I improve Rudyard Kipling.
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"Keep the stupid ones lazy and the smart ones scared."
- Knuckles

"Just say no to drugs.  Keep saying no to them, no matter what they say to you.  In fact, scream at them and threaten to kill them and roll around on the floor barking like a dog.  Pretty soon people will give you your own room, and come every few hours to give you drugs."
- Rev DynaSoar

Idem

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2011, 05:44:31 pm »
 :argh!:
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Slyph

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2011, 07:32:13 pm »
Twas Shit and the Shitty Shit did Shit and Shit upon the Shit, all Shitty where the Shits, and the Shitty Shites Outshat.

(not calling this shit, I lailed)
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Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2011, 08:42:36 pm »
Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 07:32:13 pm
Twas Shit and the Shitty Shit did Shit and Shit upon the Shit, all Shitty where the Shits, and the Shitty Shites Outshat.

(not calling this shit, I lailed)

Joke dead.  I was going to do Kipling by channeling MRH, but this post has killed any desire to do so.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2011, 08:44:18 pm by Doktor Howl »
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"Keep the stupid ones lazy and the smart ones scared."
- Knuckles

"Just say no to drugs.  Keep saying no to them, no matter what they say to you.  In fact, scream at them and threaten to kill them and roll around on the floor barking like a dog.  Pretty soon people will give you your own room, and come every few hours to give you drugs."
- Rev DynaSoar

Eve

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2011, 08:49:03 pm »
You offend my poetry-loving sensibilities, sir. :horrormirth:

;) I laughed anyway.
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Slyph

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #8 on: June 21, 2011, 09:32:30 pm »
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2011, 08:42:36 pm
Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 07:32:13 pm
Twas Shit and the Shitty Shit did Shit and Shit upon the Shit, all Shitty where the Shits, and the Shitty Shites Outshat.

(not calling this shit, I lailed)

Joke dead.  I was going to do Kipling by channeling MRH, but this post has killed any desire to do so.

Dim Mak motherfucker.
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Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #9 on: June 21, 2011, 09:33:18 pm »
Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 09:32:30 pm
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2011, 08:42:36 pm
Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 07:32:13 pm
Twas Shit and the Shitty Shit did Shit and Shit upon the Shit, all Shitty where the Shits, and the Shitty Shites Outshat.

(not calling this shit, I lailed)

Joke dead.  I was going to do Kipling by channeling MRH, but this post has killed any desire to do so.

Dim Mak motherfucker.

Sorry, I don't speak Belgian.  Fuck off.
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"Keep the stupid ones lazy and the smart ones scared."
- Knuckles

"Just say no to drugs.  Keep saying no to them, no matter what they say to you.  In fact, scream at them and threaten to kill them and roll around on the floor barking like a dog.  Pretty soon people will give you your own room, and come every few hours to give you drugs."
- Rev DynaSoar

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #10 on: June 21, 2011, 09:42:50 pm »
 :cry:

But I wanted to read the Rudyard Kipling....

rikki tikki tavi....

DAMN you slyph  :argh!:
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Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #11 on: June 21, 2011, 09:45:06 pm »
Quote from: Khara on June 21, 2011, 09:42:50 pm
:cry:

But I wanted to read the Rudyard Kipling....

rikki tikki tavi....

DAMN you slyph  :argh!:

I was gonna do Tommy Atkins and MacDonough's Song.  I still might.
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"Keep the stupid ones lazy and the smart ones scared."
- Knuckles

"Just say no to drugs.  Keep saying no to them, no matter what they say to you.  In fact, scream at them and threaten to kill them and roll around on the floor barking like a dog.  Pretty soon people will give you your own room, and come every few hours to give you drugs."
- Rev DynaSoar

Slyph

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #12 on: June 21, 2011, 09:45:56 pm »
Well, I had a good innings. Cya folks.
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Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2011, 09:47:52 pm »
Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 09:45:56 pm
Well, I had a good innings.

What does that mean?
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"Keep the stupid ones lazy and the smart ones scared."
- Knuckles

"Just say no to drugs.  Keep saying no to them, no matter what they say to you.  In fact, scream at them and threaten to kill them and roll around on the floor barking like a dog.  Pretty soon people will give you your own room, and come every few hours to give you drugs."
- Rev DynaSoar

Luna

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Re: ITT, I wreck classic poetry.
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2011, 09:50:37 pm »
If it means Sylph is trying to stifle creativity around here, somebody needs to be fucked sideways, with a chainsaw.

This was awesome, Dok.
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