41. Weird pulls in more weird.
42. If you've been married 9 times, maybe it's you.
43. A day without 3D movies is like a day without root canal work.
44. When someone says, "It's not the money", it's the money.
45. It's entirely possible that you aren't the main character. However, you should act as if you are, just in case. If you're wearing a red shirt, though, just lie down and wait for the end.
46. Order of death in horror movies: The Black dude, the tramp, any Hispanics that are around, the partiers, the cop, everyone else. The prude gets to live. Like all things Hollywood, slasher flicks are morality plays.
47. If at first you don't succeed, cover up all evidence that you ever tried, and blame the president.
48. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.
49. My reality tunnel is different than yours.
50. Don't fry bacon without a shirt on.
51. Cosmopolitan Magazine is not found in the possession of happy women.
52. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
53. You can't fix stupid.
54. If the cops and paramedics are throwing up, don't look.
55. If you don't feel right, go to the fucking doctor. Whatever horrible thing you think it might be isn't going to get better on its own, and it will probably get worse.
56. If you MUST trust or believe in a politician, at least make sure you're using protection.
57. The universe doesn't actually care if you don't look at things objectively. The results will not reflect your opinions.
58. Alfred Pennyworth was right.
59. Never play pool with someone who is nicknamed after a city.
60. You probably worry too much.