81. "Impossible" is a stupid way to describe something that's already happened.
82. There's a world of difference between the ways things should work and the way they do work. This is why communism, libertarianism, and prohibition don't work.
83. There is no problem so large that it can't be made worse by the good intentions of dumb people.
84. There is no problem so large that it can't be fixed by Big Gay Cowboys.
85. Even if the Big Gay Cowboys can't fix it, you'll stop caring.
86. The only thing worse than getting older is the alternative.
87. You can't save anyone.
88. Nobody can save you.
89. It is better to light a flamethrower, than to sit and curse the dark.
90. Nothing succeeds like excess, except when you're talking about police violence.
91. When you can't find a place to put a booger, stick it back up your nose.
92. If it looks like a bad cable, it's a bad cable. If it looks like something else, it's still a bad cable.
93. There comes a time when software is so advanced that it doesn't work at all.
94. A bird in the hand is worth two in the SHUT UP.
95. Always ensure that there's toilet paper BEFORE you shit.
96. Drop your pants and roll in your mistakes. It looks dumb, but not as dumb as digging in your heels looks. Also, it's more fun.
97. Individual civil liberty trumps everything.
98. There is no substitute for experience. Except maybe youth and energy.
99. Violence - or the threat of violence - is the fastest way to end a problem. But you'll get at least 3 NEW problems to solve, in the process.
100. An election year in America is like having 312,000,000 toddlers in the back of a car, all chanting "are we there yet?"
