Obama blinked.

[Phox]

Halloween?

Just looked into it. Red Sox winning the World Series in 2004.

Dude knows how to celebrate. 

I guess he's supposed to look like Manny Ramirez?

Who cares? He's up there giving a speech or something in a fucking dread wig. 

[El Twid]

Halloween?

Just looked into it. Red Sox winning the World Series in 2004.

Dude knows how to celebrate. 

I guess he's supposed to look like Manny Ramirez?

Who cares? He's up there giving a speech or something in a fucking dread wig. 

Hehe, point.

[Cain]

Sorry, but none of your mayors hold a candle to mine:



Ladies and gentleman, I present Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

[Freeky Queen of DERP]

Sorry, but none of your mayors hold a candle to mine:



Ladies and gentleman, I present Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

I am laughing so hard at this.   

[Juana Go?]

Yeah, I think you win.

[Cain]

In his own words:

Howard is a dynamic performer on many levels. There you are. He sent me to Liverpool. Marvellous place. Howard was the most effective Home Secretary since Peel. Hang on, was Peel Home Secretary?

I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and vital subjects.

"What has the BBC come to? Toilets, that's what"

It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.

I have not had an affair with Petronella. It is complete balderdash. It is an inverted pyramid of piffle. It is all completely untrue and ludicrous conjecture. I am amazed people can write this drivel.

There may be a reason I can't think of but the problem with that reason is that I can't think of it now.

We're moving irresistably towards a conclusion.

What transaction happened here? Have I just bought your house?

I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.

[Phox]

Sorry, but none of your mayors hold a candle to mine:



Ladies and gentleman, I present Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

I am imagining a blingtastic bejeweled crown just out of the frame.  

[Cain]

And just in case you were wondering:

People always ask me the same question, they say, 'Is Boris a very very clever man pretending to be an idiot?' And I always say, 'No.'

Or as Frankie Boyle put it:

He's the sort of person who 200 years ago would have died aged 30 leading a cavalry charge into a volcano.

[El Twid]

[Balls Wellington]

Halloween?

Just looked into it. Red Sox winning the World Series in 2004.

Dude knows how to celebrate. 

I guess he's supposed to look like Manny Ramirez?

Needs more PEDs.

[M. Nigel Salt]

Sorry, but none of your mayors hold a candle to mine:



Ladies and gentleman, I present Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

  Holy shit.

[M. Nigel Salt]

This is our previous mayor, who was kind of awesome:

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I KNOW, RIGHT?

During her era, Portlanders would say "Can't sleep, Vera will eat me!"

[Juana Go?]

Nice!

[Kurt Christ]

There may be a reason I can't think of but the problem with that reason is that I can't think of it now.

I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.

Newsfeed?

[Cramulus]

So how do I chose vote?




I'm 76.9% serious, because this broken system is still better than any system currently employed for choosing a government than I can think of right now.

Here's my scheme how I vote:

I'm a registered republican (I love wasting their postage and wasting their time on the phone)

and I enjoy the act of voting. The seniors who check your ID are so friendly. I getting my dice warmed up before I go into the booth. I like to pretend I'm voting for IMPERATOR or something really important. Honestly, I don't think my vote really makes any difference. But I want to play participate in democracy anyway!


Vote RANDOMOCRAT


One game is to limit yourself to one reroll per election. That you still have a little bit of choice, and the excitement builds as you move across the ballots. HMMM, should use my reroll on that dickbag?

If the headline news is PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION COMES DOWN TO ONE VOTE I will reevaluate this tragedy of the commons. I feel like I've invented this SUPER HIGH STAKES game that's more exciting because I only get to play every four years.