Author Topic: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.  (Read 1211 times)

Eater of Clowns

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Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« on: August 20, 2011, 05:04:07 pm »
One of my closest friends is getting married at the end of September.  His brother is the best man and he hasn't contacted anybody about a bachelor party at all yet.  I don't think anyone else in the wedding party is going to do it so FUCK I think the responsibility is going to fall on me.

He's not really the strip club kind of dude so that standby is out.  Our best bet is probably Boston.  Scotch and cigars would be a great way to start the evening, if anyone has suggestions for either of those.

Otherwise, what the fuck goes into this kind of thing?  I'm completely out of my element here.
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spaceboi

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2011, 05:20:38 pm »
We are available for hire for parties.

You must sign a non-liability agreement, a non-disclosure agreement and agree to the terms of our individual and collective riders (you might want to look these over before you write the checque. Things like the raw, unpasturized milk and the baby japanese anal eels are easy to get but some of the other items...aren't).

Additionally, the rest of us are not responsible in the event that TGRR, Nigel or Freeky's actions should lead to criminal persecution/action.

Please call our agent at 555-2323 for availability.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2011, 05:22:49 pm by navkat »

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2011, 05:52:02 pm »
 :lulz:
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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2011, 06:19:10 pm »
My guitarist is having a bachelor party in a couple of weeks and even though he asked for no strippers like everyone does his brother is taking us to the strip club. Also a firing range. Before hand of course. I forget what else is going on. What does he like?
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The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2011, 06:20:47 pm »
We are available for hire for parties.

You must sign a non-liability agreement, a non-disclosure agreement and agree to the terms of our individual and collective riders (you might want to look these over before you write the checque. Things like the raw, unpasturized milk and the baby japanese anal eels are easy to get but some of the other items...aren't).

Additionally, the rest of us are not responsible in the event that TGRR, Nigel or Freeky's actions should lead to criminal persecution/action.

Please call our agent at 555-2323 for availability.

 :lulz: :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
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The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2011, 06:24:45 pm »
I suggest a case of bourbon, a hog roast, and an anal sex video on a projector on endless repeat.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Eater of Clowns

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2011, 06:28:26 pm »
I suggest a case of bourbon, a hog roast, and an anal sex video on a projector on endless repeat.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

East Coast Hustle

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2011, 07:02:37 pm »
Who the fuck are these simpering nancies that want a stripper-less bachelor party?

I demand that their testicles be revoked.
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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2011, 10:04:49 pm »
If you hire an escort, technically she's not a stripper, even if she does a striptease...
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spaceboi

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2011, 10:07:24 pm »
Who the fuck are these simpering nancies that want a stripper-less bachelor party?

I demand that their testicles be revoked.


Who said anything about stripperless? Okay, that's it. You get blackballed from all the strip clubs in one non-major city for a severed hand incident that wasn't even our fault and next thing you know, assumptions get made about restraining orders from all the strippers.

This is how rumors get started, you know.

spaceboi

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2011, 10:08:27 pm »
If you hire an escort, technically she's not a stripper, even if she does a striptease...

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING.

GOR!

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2011, 11:27:04 pm »
Who the fuck are these simpering nancies that want a stripper-less bachelor party?

I demand that their testicles be revoked.


Who said anything about stripperless? Okay, that's it. You get blackballed from all the strip clubs in one non-major city for a severed hand incident that wasn't even our fault and next thing you know, assumptions get made about restraining orders from all the strippers.

This is how rumors get started, you know.

I think most peoples' objections were related to exactly where the hand in question was when it was severed.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Eater of Clowns

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2011, 11:35:15 pm »
Ahaha, you fuckwads.

I am not against strippers.  In fact, should a bachelor party ever happen for me and they are not involved I'd be pretty pissed.  However, both the friend and his fiance are pretty conservative Christians and don't get down with my particular sort of degeneracy.

Nigel, the pig roast is being looked into.  There's a place in Boston that'll do it if you can get 10 people.  AWESOME IDEA.
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The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2011, 11:37:21 pm »
Ahaha, you fuckwads.

I am not against strippers.  In fact, should a bachelor party ever happen for me and they are not involved I'd be pretty pissed.  However, both the friend and his fiance are pretty conservative Christians and don't get down with my particular sort of degeneracy.

Nigel, the pig roast is being looked into.  There's a place in Boston that'll do it if you can get 10 people.  AWESOME IDEA.

:thanks:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

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Re: Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2011, 01:00:08 am »
Somehow in there I found that you're allowed to be friends with conservative Christians. I'm impressed. Most of my friends that went that way blocked me out of their lives shortly after, and I didn't even TRY.
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