Author Topic: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies  (Read 2893 times)

Doktor Howl

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Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« on: September 02, 2011, 06:16:17 pm »
Brothers & Sisters,

I am here to talk to you today about the dangers of the Discordian Fundamentalist Heresy.  I refer specifically to those Discordians that believe that “chaos” means pope cards, turkey curses, and happy children dancing in the wildflowers.

Not only does this heretical thought fly in the face of everything we know about Eris, it also leads to the persecution of the Horrible Truthists, who merely wish to describe the universe the way it IS, rather than the way the heretics want it to be.

Don’t think we don’t notice the snide comments, the petty put-downs, and the harping on how telling it like it is “will drive away new members”.  Don’t think we don’t realize that the heretics plot and plan to drag us all kicking and screaming into some bizarre utopia where we will be forced to speak gibberish and play “3 word story”.

Oh, yes.  We see all of this, we see all of this and more, and I can tell you plainly that we don’t give a shit about what potential “new members” think, if these hypothetical new members oppose The Truth™.   For The Truth™ is all that matters, and if you see us coming, Bubba, you’d better run. ..Because we will march on a road of bones, if that’s what it takes to defend ourselves against the perfidious hippies and loveburgers that hound our very steps.

As a wise man once said, “Your approval is not our concern.”

No, we shall not rest until this heresy has been burned out, purged in a Richterian inquisition, the excesses of which shall make Torquemada look like Mister Rogers.  We have grown weary of your petty slights, the glances down your noses at our Holy Work™, and the time of reckoning has come.  Grab your copies of the peedee and your pope cards, heathens, and run for the hills.  Flee, though it shall avail you not.  We shall pursue you tirelessly, to stop this awful persecution you have been fobbing off as “orthodox Discordianism”.

And when you are gone, we will stride boldly forward into a bright tomorrow, in the manner in which the founders intended.  Pure, clean, and free of the taint of heresy which you have stained our beloved religion with.

Okay for now,
Dok
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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2011, 06:21:59 pm »
f=ma, BITCHES.
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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2011, 06:23:42 pm »
lol, taint

but seriously,  :mittens:

The terms "fundamental" or "orthodox" should never come before the word "discordianism," it's a total contradiction. Anyone who uses any combination of those terms is a tool.
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Doktor Howl

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2011, 06:28:12 pm »
lol, taint

but seriously,  :mittens:

The terms "fundamental" or "orthodox" should never come before the word "discordianism," it's a total contradiction. Anyone who uses any combination of those terms is a tool.

I am sick of them persecuting me, so I have no option but to CLEANSE THE TEMPLE.
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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2011, 06:29:51 pm »
FUCKING MITTENS TIMES A THOUSAND, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Fundamentalist Discordians hate the Horrible Truth sect because we TELL THE HORRIBLE TRUTH, and they are forced to see that their rainbows are made of shit and their bunnies are DEAD. They hate us and try to "tone us down" because they are helpless against the Horrible Truth, that which once seen cannot be unseen, but they would rather be left ignorant, pretend it doesn't exist, and wallow in a football field of filth than face reality. Helpless against the Truth, but not against the Horrible Truthers, so they try to suppress, repress, and even oppress us in their quest to keep their heads in the sand.

We're "Too negative", they say. "Too harsh". We present the offputting face of naked reality, and that keeps mindless hordes of parroting sycophants from thronging to Discordianism to do the bidding of the would-be charismatic Fundamentalist cult leaders. This angers them.

Well, you know what? If you can't handle Strife, can't handle Discord, and most of all if you can't handle the Truth, then you cannot think for yourself, and you are not ready to know Eris. In which case, GTFO my Discordia.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Doktor Howl

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2011, 06:33:22 pm »
FUCKING MITTENS TIMES A THOUSAND, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Fundamentalist Discordians hate the Horrible Truth sect because we TELL THE HORRIBLE TRUTH, and they are forced to see that their rainbows are made of shit and their bunnies are DEAD. They hate us and try to "tone us down" because they are helpless against the Horrible Truth, that which once seen cannot be unseen, but they would rather be left ignorant, pretend it doesn't exist, and wallow in a football field of filth than face reality. Helpless against the Truth, but not against the Horrible Truthers, so they try to suppress, repress, and even oppress us in their quest to keep their heads in the sand.

We're "Too negative", they say. "Too harsh". We present the offputting face of naked reality, and that keeps mindless hordes of parroting sycophants from thronging to Discordianism to do the bidding of the would-be charismatic Fundamentalist cult leaders. This angers them.

Well, you know what? If you can't handle Strife, can't handle Discord, and most of all if you can't handle the Truth, then you cannot think for yourself, and you are not ready to know Eris. In which case, GTFO my Discordia.

PREACH IT, NIGEL!

How long were we expected to tolerate their condescension?  How long were we supposed to play nice while they moo-ed their disapproval at us, while glaring at us with their bovine eyes?

It is my opinion that only Horrible Truthists should be allowed to hold any position of responsibility in Discordia, whether that be as an admin, a mod, or anyone making podcasts.  We cannot allow our message to be sullied with these heresies.
Don't tell me what to fucking do.  In exchange, I will not tell you what to fucking do.  Note that mocking each other's actions is still permissable under this system.

Luna

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2011, 06:47:43 pm »
Wait...

Dok?


What's wrong with children dancing in the wildflowers?

I mean... really...

Seriously...

If they stop...

What will I use for target practice?
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

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Doktor Howl

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2011, 06:48:47 pm »
Wait...

Dok?


What's wrong with children dancing in the wildflowers?

I mean... really...

Seriously...

If they stop...

What will I use for target practice?

Discordian Fundamentalists, of course.  Only by eradicating them can we be free from their "keep Dobbs out of the classroom" secularism.

Don't tell me what to fucking do.  In exchange, I will not tell you what to fucking do.  Note that mocking each other's actions is still permissable under this system.

Dimocritus

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2011, 06:49:14 pm »
If one needs to qualify "their discoria" with terms then they're simply doing it wrong by insisting it one way or another.

Only through the balancing and un-balancing between the eternal push-pull of the Hodge and the Podge does Discordia reveal itself.
HOUSE OF GABCab ~ "caecus plumbum caecus"

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2011, 06:50:48 pm »
If one needs to qualify "their discoria" with terms then they're simply doing it wrong by insisting it one way or another.

Only through the balancing and un-balancing between the eternal push-pull of the Hodge and the Podge does Discordia reveal itself.

There is only one Discordia, and it is YOUR Discordia.  No "balance" is required.

We shall gnaw on their bones with our very own teeth.
Don't tell me what to fucking do.  In exchange, I will not tell you what to fucking do.  Note that mocking each other's actions is still permissable under this system.

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2011, 06:54:57 pm »
Wait...

Dok?


What's wrong with children dancing in the wildflowers?

I mean... really...

Seriously...

If they stop...

What will I use for target practice?

Discordian Fundamentalists, of course.  Only by eradicating them can we be free from their "keep Dobbs out of the classroom" secularism.



Takes some of the challenge out of it...  Targets are not only considerably larger, but slower, and they don't even scream as sweetly, but, as a public service...
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
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"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

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"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2011, 06:57:22 pm »
FUCKING MITTENS TIMES A THOUSAND, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Fundamentalist Discordians hate the Horrible Truth sect because we TELL THE HORRIBLE TRUTH, and they are forced to see that their rainbows are made of shit and their bunnies are DEAD. They hate us and try to "tone us down" because they are helpless against the Horrible Truth, that which once seen cannot be unseen, but they would rather be left ignorant, pretend it doesn't exist, and wallow in a football field of filth than face reality. Helpless against the Truth, but not against the Horrible Truthers, so they try to suppress, repress, and even oppress us in their quest to keep their heads in the sand.

We're "Too negative", they say. "Too harsh". We present the offputting face of naked reality, and that keeps mindless hordes of parroting sycophants from thronging to Discordianism to do the bidding of the would-be charismatic Fundamentalist cult leaders. This angers them.

Well, you know what? If you can't handle Strife, can't handle Discord, and most of all if you can't handle the Truth, then you cannot think for yourself, and you are not ready to know Eris. In which case, GTFO my Discordia.

PREACH IT, NIGEL!

How long were we expected to tolerate their condescension?  How long were we supposed to play nice while they moo-ed their disapproval at us, while glaring at us with their bovine eyes?

It is my opinion that only Horrible Truthists should be allowed to hold any position of responsibility in Discordia, whether that be as an admin, a mod, or anyone making podcasts.  We cannot allow our message to be sullied with these heresies.

WE MUST CLEANSE WITH FIRE

WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THESE HERETICS ANY LONGER!!! IT IS A HOLY WAR!
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2011, 06:58:28 pm »
If one needs to qualify "their discoria" with terms then they're simply doing it wrong by insisting it one way or another.

Only through the balancing and un-balancing between the eternal push-pull of the Hodge and the Podge does Discordia reveal itself.

FUCK BALANCE IN THE FACE WITH A STICK

PUUUUUURGE!!!
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Doktor Howl

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2011, 07:00:12 pm »
WE MUST CLEANSE WITH FIRE

WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THESE HERETICS ANY LONGER!!! IT IS A HOLY WAR!

I, for one, will not allow The War on April Fools Day to go unanswered.

Nor will I tolerate any further interference in my faith from Godless heathens and wishy-washy so-called "chaos magickians".
Don't tell me what to fucking do.  In exchange, I will not tell you what to fucking do.  Note that mocking each other's actions is still permissable under this system.