Author Topic: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies  (Read 3205 times)

Triple Zero

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #30 on: September 05, 2011, 09:06:15 am »
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British.

for FREE? goddamnit! we got universal healthcare too but that means I have to pay for mine and it's MANDATORY :lol:
[it's great being able to pester your GP whenever your back itches, though]

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All you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride

have you tasted it? the other half is chloride!! and the water itself, it's made from concentrate, to save on transport costs!
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e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Doktor Howl

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #31 on: September 05, 2011, 01:54:47 pm »
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British. All you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride, and Fundies with nice shiny, plaque free brains.
   


We don't have flouride in Arizona, because it's communist.

That way, the tweaker's teeth all fall out in weeks, not months.
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #32 on: September 05, 2011, 01:55:40 pm »
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British. All you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride, and Fundies with nice shiny, plaque free brains.
   


We don't have flouride in Arizona, because it's communist.

That way, the tweaker's teeth all fall out in weeks, not months.

And your water is recycled urine.

Doktor Howl

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #33 on: September 05, 2011, 02:12:19 pm »
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste
Ha! I wondered what it was called. Never needed to know really, because
free Dentistry is part of our free Healthcare package. That we get FREE, just for being so fucking awesome and British. All you get free from your Government in that respect, is water that's 30% fluoride, and Fundies with nice shiny, plaque free brains.
   


We don't have flouride in Arizona, because it's communist.

That way, the tweaker's teeth all fall out in weeks, not months.

And your water is recycled urine.

It was.  Before the budget cuts.

Now we don't get the "recycled" bit.
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

deadfong

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #34 on: September 05, 2011, 02:27:31 pm »
Little bits of froth forming at the corners of your mouth, Dok.

No, you THINK that's froth, but it's not.  It's fucking TOOTHPASTE1.  When I start frothing, you'll KNOW IT.




1  For you Brits...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothpaste


Adios

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #35 on: September 05, 2011, 02:43:55 pm »
Dok, here's something Jimmy Webb wrote for Waylon.


Willie we've been constant companion
You know the light and shade
We have spent a million dollars
Find out what we made

We have made the maidens marvel
The things we do and say
Down, down and out brother
Up, up in the way

If you see me gettin' smaller
I'm leavin' don't be free there
Just got to get away from here
If you see me gettin' smaller
Don't worry and no hurry
I've got the right to disappear

God bless old Philadelphia
They were standing in the rain
Out in front of a main yard
Wet and lonely train

Who knows who they came to see
A mad man full of beer
A four piece band and a charter bus
MAy further line career

If you see me gettin' smaller
I'm leavin' don't be free there
Just got to get away from here
If you see me gettin' smaller
Don't worry and no hurry
I've got the right to disappear

the last yatto

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #36 on: September 12, 2011, 08:37:27 pm »
this post is only to annoy roger
Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit

Doktor Howl

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #37 on: September 12, 2011, 08:42:39 pm »
this post is only to annoy roger

You're kind of...Pathetic, Yatto.

No, really.

But far be it from me to get between you and your obsession.
"Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown... the mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?"

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #38 on: October 17, 2012, 12:23:31 am »
FUCKING MITTENS TIMES A THOUSAND, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Fundamentalist Discordians hate the Horrible Truth sect because we TELL THE HORRIBLE TRUTH, and they are forced to see that their rainbows are made of shit and their bunnies are DEAD. They hate us and try to "tone us down" because they are helpless against the Horrible Truth, that which once seen cannot be unseen, but they would rather be left ignorant, pretend it doesn't exist, and wallow in a football field of filth than face reality. Helpless against the Truth, but not against the Horrible Truthers, so they try to suppress, repress, and even oppress us in their quest to keep their heads in the sand.

We're "Too negative", they say. "Too harsh". We present the offputting face of naked reality, and that keeps mindless hordes of parroting sycophants from thronging to Discordianism to do the bidding of the would-be charismatic Fundamentalist cult leaders. This angers them.

Well, you know what? If you can't handle Strife, can't handle Discord, and most of all if you can't handle the Truth, then you cannot think for yourself, and you are not ready to know Eris. In which case, GTFO my Discordia.

Bump
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hunter s.durden

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #39 on: October 17, 2012, 12:28:50 am »
Good bump.

No comments, everything I could say about this has been adequately covered here.
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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #40 on: October 17, 2012, 04:18:22 am »
OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE HOLY WAR

PUUUUUUUUUURGE!!!
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”



“All that goodness, with a frozen chicken in the middle.”
― Doktor Howl, 2014

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #41 on: October 17, 2012, 12:31:39 pm »
Having gone through my pinealism phase in high school LIKE A BOSS, and long before the goddess showed up in yellow while I was drunk and watching Eddie Izzard, I support this 1000%
Lap-Top Confessional of Your Most Deranged Horrorbag Indulgences | _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Don't fucking judge me, I've got tentacles for a face.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #42 on: October 23, 2012, 12:05:20 am »
Brothers & Sisters,

I am here to talk to you today about the dangers of the Discordian Fundamentalist Heresy.  I refer specifically to those Discordians that believe that “chaos” means pope cards, turkey curses, and happy children dancing in the wildflowers.

Not only does this heretical thought fly in the face of everything we know about Eris, it also leads to the persecution of the Horrible Truthists, who merely wish to describe the universe the way it IS, rather than the way the heretics want it to be.

Don’t think we don’t notice the snide comments, the petty put-downs, and the harping on how telling it like it is “will drive away new members”.  Don’t think we don’t realize that the heretics plot and plan to drag us all kicking and screaming into some bizarre utopia where we will be forced to speak gibberish and play “3 word story”.

Oh, yes.  We see all of this, we see all of this and more, and I can tell you plainly that we don’t give a shit about what potential “new members” think, if these hypothetical new members oppose The Truth™.   For The Truth™ is all that matters, and if you see us coming, Bubba, you’d better run. ..Because we will march on a road of bones, if that’s what it takes to defend ourselves against the perfidious hippies and loveburgers that hound our very steps.

As a wise man once said, “Your approval is not our concern.”

No, we shall not rest until this heresy has been burned out, purged in a Richterian inquisition, the excesses of which shall make Torquemada look like Mister Rogers.  We have grown weary of your petty slights, the glances down your noses at our Holy Work™, and the time of reckoning has come.  Grab your copies of the peedee and your pope cards, heathens, and run for the hills.  Flee, though it shall avail you not.  We shall pursue you tirelessly, to stop this awful persecution you have been fobbing off as “orthodox Discordianism”.

And when you are gone, we will stride boldly forward into a bright tomorrow, in the manner in which the founders intended.  Pure, clean, and free of the taint of heresy which you have stained our beloved religion with.

Okay for now,
Dok

Bump.
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #43 on: October 27, 2012, 04:22:05 am »
Brothers & Sisters,

I am here to talk to you today about the dangers of the Discordian Fundamentalist Heresy.  I refer specifically to those Discordians that believe that “chaos” means pope cards, turkey curses, and happy children dancing in the wildflowers.

Not only does this heretical thought fly in the face of everything we know about Eris, it also leads to the persecution of the Horrible Truthists, who merely wish to describe the universe the way it IS, rather than the way the heretics want it to be.

Don’t think we don’t notice the snide comments, the petty put-downs, and the harping on how telling it like it is “will drive away new members”.  Don’t think we don’t realize that the heretics plot and plan to drag us all kicking and screaming into some bizarre utopia where we will be forced to speak gibberish and play “3 word story”.

Oh, yes.  We see all of this, we see all of this and more, and I can tell you plainly that we don’t give a shit about what potential “new members” think, if these hypothetical new members oppose The Truth™.   For The Truth™ is all that matters, and if you see us coming, Bubba, you’d better run. ..Because we will march on a road of bones, if that’s what it takes to defend ourselves against the perfidious hippies and loveburgers that hound our very steps.

As a wise man once said, “Your approval is not our concern.”

No, we shall not rest until this heresy has been burned out, purged in a Richterian inquisition, the excesses of which shall make Torquemada look like Mister Rogers.  We have grown weary of your petty slights, the glances down your noses at our Holy Work™, and the time of reckoning has come.  Grab your copies of the peedee and your pope cards, heathens, and run for the hills.  Flee, though it shall avail you not.  We shall pursue you tirelessly, to stop this awful persecution you have been fobbing off as “orthodox Discordianism”.

And when you are gone, we will stride boldly forward into a bright tomorrow, in the manner in which the founders intended.  Pure, clean, and free of the taint of heresy which you have stained our beloved religion with.

Okay for now,
Dok

Bump.

 :lulz: Perhaps it is time to remember our Holy War.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”



“All that goodness, with a frozen chicken in the middle.”
― Doktor Howl, 2014

navkat

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Re: Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies
« Reply #44 on: November 10, 2012, 05:55:16 am »
"Keep Dobbs out of the classroom."

Gawd, this makes me want to home school my kid for a variety of reasons only countered by a variety of similar reasons why I'm willing to overlook the institutional bullshit for access to the value left in sending him there.

Ongoing brain-worm...