Author Topic: As of tonight...  (Read 8359 times)

P3nT4gR4m

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As of tonight...
« on: October 08, 2011, 01:00:08 am »
I can do the eskimo-roll!  :banana:

Both fuckin sides!!

Sea kayaking for 30-odd years and basically just got ninja fucking good at staying up. I can rescue, be rescued and rescue myself, also like a ninja but still ,there's always been that inconvenience factor which, on account of the awesome staying up skills aforementioned, has never really happened, to me at least. I've pulled a fair few dudes out the water in all sorts of shit but I've never been upside down myself when I wasn't fucking around.

There have, however, been occasions where I might not have had time to be rescued. I might have died. I kinda liked it. Just a guilty little bit. It was my skills on the line. Me v's the Atlantic - tame it or die. Fucker has teeth. Way out, where the tide and the swell and the wind kick up all fucked seven ways from hell. I've seen depth charges going off in the water, a couple of meters in from where I was fighting off ten footers coming in from the night before. They're called clapotis - wave coming in, smacks off the cliff, shoots up fifteen feet in the air then comes crashing back down with a massive splodey.

Next thing the wave bounces back out the way it came. The reflection. Shoots back out at pretty much the same size and lick that it came in and then smashes into the next big wave coming in. WHOOOSH! Srsly. Like in the comics. Get caught in that crap and who knows where you'll land. If it's not inside your boat, the right way up, real fucking soon, the next breaker is going to grind your shit against those rocks with an approximate pressure of - who the fuck knows - couple of tons prolly. Thing is your going to get pounded and you don't got a helmet on account of helmets are for pussies.

Thing is, now I got teh roll down I can head out looking for bigger, badder, more dangerous...
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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2011, 03:08:37 am »
That's awesome.

I went sea kayaking in Washington and barely could keep the damn thing going in a straight line.

This calls for an especially rude kayak-based WOMP.
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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2011, 09:22:20 am »
Sweet! But what's this eskimo-roll thing, I'm having a hard time imagining what it looks like?

It's not sushi made from ice-bear liver, right?

(cause that shit's toxic as fuck)
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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2011, 09:49:17 am »

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2011, 10:40:51 am »
Congrats, but, FUCK, no.

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2011, 05:06:52 pm »
Sweet. Eskimo roll is all you need, so you don't have to swim back to shore and empty your Kayak after every spill.
It's also handy on rivers, for avoiding angry swans trying to peck you to death for daring to drift through their personal fucking weirpools.
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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2011, 05:19:06 pm »
Still some way to go

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2011, 07:09:18 pm »
Still some way to go

Thats one full eskimo roll every 2.26 seconds.  :eek:

I would go on a ride that simulated that. Even if it was just called waterbording.

P3nT4gR4m

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2011, 10:23:23 pm »
Trying out new headcam Water is boring as fuck but that'll be foxed shortly.
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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2011, 10:26:37 pm »
I'm pretty sure I went fishing on Loch Lomond once, and caught absolutely nothing.
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P3nT4gR4m

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2011, 10:44:20 pm »
Fish are all dead. Fish can't breathe 100% ned urine
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"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2011, 10:48:39 pm »
Trying out new headcam Water is boring as fuck but that'll be foxed shortly.
Are you getting stealth torpedoes so you can take out the kind of blatant interlopers that appear around the 8 minute mark?
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2011, 08:01:00 am »
That's the rest of my group. Check out the slo-mo on this clip from about 7:40 onwards
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walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2011, 08:38:59 am »
That's the rest of my group. Check out the slo-mo on this clip from about 7:40 onwards
What's that directly in front of your Kayak, under the water at about 10.24, right near the shore? You go right over it at 11.02, is that a seam of light coloured stone?
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

P3nT4gR4m

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Re: As of tonight...
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2011, 09:34:52 am »
It's a bunch of leaves and shit that have fallen off the tree, floating on the surface. For some reason the little waves make them all clump together like that.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"And National Geographic got interested because National Geographic has the theory that the last century, discovery was basically finding things, and in this century, discovery is basically making things."-- Stewart Brand