I have a shoe size L, and my favorite color is 12. GO
your name is Vincenzo Fartarelli and you live in Queens where you sell counterfeit Manischewitz wine at cut-rate prices to people who are having trouble affording a bar mitzvah party.
Apparently, your name actually IS "Emo Howard". You live in a 55+ gated retirement trailer park in Muncie, Indiana where you aren't technically employed but manage to scrape by on an ingenious scam involving you placing a cat in the tree outside the trailer of anyone in the park who suffers from dementia or alzheimers and then charging them $10 to rescue "their" cat.
My shoes are size 44 and MY FAVOURITE COLOUR DIED OF ATROPINE POISONING, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!!!
Flugelhorn VanHymenstomp? Really? You Belgians have the strangest names.
You live at 612 Anuustraad in the basement of a tourist brothel and obviously, given your ethnic background and enormous feet, you make a living as an environmentally-friendly freelance wafflemaker using only the waffle-tread soles of your favorite pair of clogs and the heat generated by the friction of your thighs rubbing together.
Shoe size 42-30, favorite color lizard. GO!
Your real name is Princess Poopypants (you had it legally changed to that when you turned 18, apparently) and you live in an abandoned methlab on the outskirts of Effingham, Illinois. You make your living by beating up members of the local biker gang, stealing their leather vests and chaps, and turning them into cute handbags and coin purses to sell on Etsy.
Your real name is Charlie Dwardfarkle. you live on a boat, which sounds pretty glamorous except that it's a moldy 15 foot zodiac with a blue tarp over it that you've tied to a cypress tree in the swamp outside Port Arthur, Texas. You are happily unemployed, feeling that you live quite well on your yacht, drinking the sweat that condenses on the underside of the tarp every morning and eating a porridge made from swampgrass and spanish moss, with the occasional bits of armadillo meat thrown in when you find a dead one floating by.