Author Topic: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."  (Read 757 times)

Kai

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"Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« on: December 09, 2011, 04:29:22 am »
This just cracks me the fuck up.

So, apparently Catholic Ministries have started an "adopt-an-atheist" program. As Bill Donohue explains:

Quote
    [Let] them know of your interest in “adopting” one of them. All it takes is an e-mail. Let them know of your sincere interest in working with them to uncover their inner self. They may be resistant at first, but eventually they may come to understand that they were Christian all along.

    If we hurry, these closeted Christians can celebrate Christmas like the rest of us. As an added bonus, they will no longer be looked upon as people who “believe in nothing, stand for nothing and are good for nothing.”


So of course, a classy atheist woman makes a video asking him to adopt her.   :lulz:
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2011, 04:30:14 am »
Atheists stand for nothing?   :lulz:

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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2011, 04:31:01 am »
This just cracks me the fuck up.

So, apparently Catholic Ministries have started an "adopt-an-atheist" program. As Bill Donohue explains:

Quote
    [Let] them know of your interest in “adopting” one of them. All it takes is an e-mail. Let them know of your sincere interest in working with them to uncover their inner self. They may be resistant at first, but eventually they may come to understand that they were Christian all along.

    If we hurry, these closeted Christians can celebrate Christmas like the rest of us. As an added bonus, they will no longer be looked upon as people who “believe in nothing, stand for nothing and are good for nothing.”


Oh my baby Jesus. :lulz:
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Kai

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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2011, 04:35:49 am »
I think Miranda is leading by example. We should ALL go email a Catholic and ask them to adopt our pagan asses, because apparently we are Christians and don't know it.

I think this email campaign would be a wonderful way to spend the holiday season. We could even design a template, with a section citing Donohue's statement, so everyone could get in on the Christmas spirit.

Personally, I'm going to send mine to Bill Donohue. I mean, the above video is tough competition, but I think I could make my case.  8)
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Kurt Christ

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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2011, 04:47:10 am »
Why don't we adopt the Christians instead?
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Kai

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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2011, 04:47:52 am »
Why don't we adopt the Christians instead?

Why do you hate America?
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2011, 05:56:19 am »
Why don't we adopt the Christians instead?

Why do you hate America?
The "cheese," if you can really call it that.
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2011, 12:57:14 pm »
I'd let Phil Donohue adopt me, only if he gave me one of those puffy microphones. 
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2011, 01:59:27 pm »
But those are the freaks that put all these wood-and-plaster shrines with horrible torture scenes at road intersections all over Southern Europe, and pray and cry and orgasm at huge bloody and gory graphical depictions of the same put on display in these gigantic ancient above-ground stone dungeons--I'm staying the fuck away from those maniacs.

"Adopt" me, uh-huh right.
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2011, 02:41:28 pm »
Will they buy me a new TV for Christmas?

No?

Forget it.
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2011, 02:51:54 pm »
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WHATCHOO TALKIN BOUT, BILL DONOHUE?
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2011, 03:33:24 pm »
As the resident CatholicTM, I will adopt all of you.

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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #12 on: December 09, 2011, 03:45:49 pm »
As the resident CatholicTM, I will adopt all of you.

Do I get a nice Catholic name?
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2011, 03:49:33 pm »
As the resident CatholicTM, I will adopt all of you.

Do I get a nice Catholic name?

Of course.

You are now Mark Luke John, and your Confirmation name is Matthew.
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Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
« Reply #14 on: December 09, 2011, 03:51:48 pm »
As the resident CatholicTM, I will adopt all of you.

Do I get a nice Catholic name?

Of course.

You are now Mark Luke John, and your Confirmation name is Matthew.

Nice. I'm going to just use Mark and Matthew though. They fit well with the name my parents gave me, which also starts with an M.
This way I can be Triple M Double H.
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