Author Topic: Who Are We?  (Read 4431 times)

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2011, 05:21:03 pm »
Oh hey!

I think I've only written maybe three of these, you found one and if you find the other two feel free.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Phox

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2011, 09:51:22 pm »
Go ahead and use mine if you want/ I am thinking about writing a few pieces around the idea you put forth. Lets' see how it turns out.

Luna

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2011, 09:53:28 pm »
Please, do!  I'm looking forward to seeing what people have on this.
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"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

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Pæs

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2011, 07:18:28 am »
We're the honest people. Wholesome, down to earth, home-baked people individually wrapped and packaged in plastic, polystyrene and cardboard. Just like Mama used to make. We remember what Childhood™ was like, even if you don't, and we'll remind you if you let us in.

We're the innocent people. Organic. Grassroots. We're your sort of people. We're the neighbourly people, all smiles and casual greetings over the fence. Perfect little families like they show on TV to make you feel guilty for your perversions.

Don't worry, we deal in redemption.

Because we're the maintenance people. Invisible like, but we're the reason that with the push of a button, you can be immediately rewarded with what it is you crave. You're the boss, see? We're just the helpful people. People serving people. We clean and grease the tubes so things can be delivered on time, any time, all the time. It never stops.

It never stops.

We're the relentless people. Filling your subscriptions, just calling to see if you have time to take a survey and rate our service, wanted to come by and upgrade your signal, long-distance phone service, internet.

Who are we?



We're the slippery people. It's hard enough to catch a glimpse of us, so just forget about our ever meeting. We're the people who decide how much to pay and how much to charge. We'll never take anything from you unless you insist on giving it to us but we're more than happy to accommodate your decision to delegate. Let us make the difficult choices and you can sit back and enjoy the consequences.

We're the clever people. We've got all the data and we know how to make the right connections. Who you're with, where you are, what you're doing, eating, wearing, thinking but it's safe because we didn't ASK, you just started telling us. We're innovating. Extrapolating. We know what you before you do and we'll let you know in advance. We can tell you where to go, who you'll meet here. We'll alert you to your common interests, give you some ice-breakers because life shouldn't have to be so much effort.

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #19 on: December 23, 2011, 07:18:57 am »
Who are we? is a fantastic way to respond to FACEBOOK IS CHANGING WITHOUT TELLING ME, too.

Luna

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #20 on: December 23, 2011, 02:45:41 pm »
Gotten a couple of interesting pieces already via email, thanks!

For those sending through email, if you wish attribution, I'll need to know what name to use.

My current plan (and this is my first time, be gentle) is to assemble it, toss it on a website, link from here, and let y'all look it over.  If I miss an attribution, don't kill me, I'll add it, promise.   :)

Pieces about individuals will be run by those individuals for opinions before inclusion.  If you hate the piece, I won't use it.  If there is something in a piece that, say, you think gives too much personal info, let me know.  We'll work it out.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

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"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

AFK

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #21 on: December 23, 2011, 03:09:57 pm »
We're the people waiting for you to go first.  We talk a good game but never throw down.  We praise your good ideas and exhalt your plans.  We'll be right there behind you!  Well, actually, right after we wash our hair.  Then we're right there with you!  Oh, well, no, we have to renew our gym membership, I mean, it's gonna be a new year, we're going to hit the stair climbers for sure this year!  Then, we'll be ripped and ready to fight the good fight along side you...oh wait, we just remembered we need to clean up the hard drive.  That shouldn't take too long, and then, holy fuck are we ready to rumble!!!  Well, we probably should get a new bottle of asprin first.  We might get a headache while trying to fight The Man.  Go on ahead, we'll be there eventually, really, trust us, who are we? -- Rev. What's-His-Name? 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

BadBeast

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #22 on: December 23, 2011, 03:19:02 pm »
I couldn't remember writing that at all.

We are the reviled, the deliberately misunderstood, the veterans of a truth so savage, the telling of which can send the strongest of men retreating into an ever increasing catatonia, that some never walk out from.
We are the witnesses of the last honest man, and we carry his words, imprinted across the inside of our eyelids, lest we forget.
The Guardians of a path so hard to find, that only the soles of our feet know the direction it takes.

That's who we are

The trail of our broken and discarded dreams show where we have passed.
We are greeted as Heroes by strangers, strangers who would avail themselves of out particular talents.

Then we are held up as Saviours, for maybe a week, and tales of us are sent out into the lands, because always we are known, every town finds time to cheer us and welcome us, until the job's done.
But although nothing's ever said, no-one mourns our absence when it's time to move on.

That is also who we are.

A thousand Wars, and myriad deaths these hands have delivered.
Not for glory, or honour, or any moral holding of ideas,  but because quite simply, ithat's what we do. But because the toll of death weighs heavily upon us, we never kill lightly.

But we do it with such professional excellence, that none other can compete.

So gather around, you're quite safe please,  feel free to ask questions from the FAQ books you were issued during your trip, our mod team will be happy to take questions by PM, relating to any matters deemed "too sensitive" to tell in polite company. (Confessional confidence is, of course expected of us.)

That's who we are.

 But never seek to use subterfuge, or attempt to deceive us, for this,  you will be flayed of your skin, and the red flag of your hide shall adorn our tree of skinnings, while your slick, wet body screams defiance, then pleas, then just sobs from the anthill your broken, bleeding carcasse shall  be laid upon.

That's who we are.
 

Then I read it again, and I kinda could remember. Now, I'm remembering stuff that I didn't write, but should have done.

Anyway, if it claims to be mine,  then it prolly is, so if you want it, take it and pimp it til it's tits stop squeaking.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2011, 03:25:38 pm by BadBeast »
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Triple Zero

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #23 on: December 23, 2011, 04:05:07 pm »
Because the search is broken, I queried the database for "who are we" and dumped it here:

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/who-are-we.html

still took over an hour to format it and as you can see there's lots of false positives too, but maybe someone else can go over it and distill the good ones?

they're sorted by dates, a link to the original post (in thread context) is below every post and there's lots of horrific toolboxes in the old stuff. ENJOY
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Luna

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #24 on: December 23, 2011, 04:09:06 pm »
Because the search is broken, I queried the database for "who are we" and dumped it here:

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/who-are-we.html

still took over an hour to format it and as you can see there's lots of false positives too, but maybe someone else can go over it and distill the good ones?

they're sorted by dates, a link to the original post (in thread context) is below every post and there's lots of horrific toolboxes in the old stuff. ENJOY

Trip, you are awesome, and I adore you.  I'll rummage through it.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Triple Zero

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2011, 04:51:29 pm »
If you just ctrl-F/Find Next for "who are we" through it, you'll sort out the true positives soon enough.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #26 on: December 23, 2011, 06:58:08 pm »
Because the search is broken, I queried the database for "who are we" and dumped it here:

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/who-are-we.html

still took over an hour to format it and as you can see there's lots of false positives too, but maybe someone else can go over it and distill the good ones?

they're sorted by dates, a link to the original post (in thread context) is below every post and there's lots of horrific toolboxes in the old stuff. ENJOY

Cool!
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Hoser McRhizzy

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #27 on: December 24, 2011, 04:23:28 pm »
On your way to find yourself, you found the last stronghold of unmediated humans.  Hi!  We're the authentic people, and through us, you'll finally experience yourself.  You're about to learn that words like real, genuine and yes, even pure don't have to carry all that weighty self-referential irony you've been dragging around. 

Pre-scripted re-cited formulaic interactions just won't do at all, 'cause we're here to teach you who you are without your hero stories and semi-obscure pop culture references.  And when you pick up what we're laying down, you're going to have the first free-flowing unmediated truly original conversation you've ever had.  As long as you're with us, you'll learn that there is no script and you're certainly no character. 

Authenticity.  Pure interaction, real and genuine, we've got all the flavours of human immediacy here for you to sample.  Yes, you've finally found us!  Welcome home.
It feels unreal because it's trickling up.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #28 on: December 24, 2011, 04:55:23 pm »
Unmedicated?

I'm pretty sure you're not talking about here.  :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Don Coyote

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Re: Who Are We?
« Reply #29 on: December 24, 2011, 06:11:54 pm »
Who are we?
We are the people in front of you with 30 items in the 15 items or less lane, paying with a checkbook.