This is the shit you need:
5Tbs butter, 5Tbs flour, 1 Duvel, 2 cups chicken broth, 3 cups half and half, 2 containers frozen chopped broccoli, 1 lb shredded cheddar, 1 potato
side note: you may substitute for real
cheese (good cheese), add ham or bacon, fresh broccoli, etc.. this cheese was bogo and we were hungry now
salt, pepper, a wee bit of nutmeg and either a pinch of cayenne or a dash of Crystal.
Make your roux by melting butter till bubbly, then add flour and whisk. Keep whisking till all that raw flour smell is gone and it darkens slightly. You don't need to make it brick red, we're not making gumbo here.
Next start adding your stock and beer. Make sure you heat it up in a pot or in the microwave first. Don't want to add cold stuff to hot roux. It will thicken like a paste at first, don't be skeered, keep whisking until its smooth. Don't add your liquids too fast or you'll get lumps and I'll smash your fingers with a cast iron skillet.
Then add your potato that you've diced into little bitty pieces. If you want to pre-boil these to make the shit go faster, feel free, just don't turn em to fucking mush. I like em to keep their shape. The starch also makes your soup thick and silky.
Add your half and half. Warm
half and half, remember. Don't break the shit. Add it slow and stir it gently, that potato is gonna stick.
After your shit is fucking hot add your cheese, shredded, a little bit at a time. Melt it in there nice and slow. Don't rush these steps. Make sure each time you add something you heat it thoroughly but don't bring the shit to a boil, you want it just about at a simmer the whole time. Boiling is bad!
Look. I discovered the FLASH. Your shit should look like this.
Now you can taste the shit and add your spices. I wait till now so I can see how salty it will be after I add the cheese n shit.
Chuck in your broccoli and stir it in real good. If you use frozen, thaw the shit till it's slightly warm in the microwave first. Don't add frozen broccoli to this shit or it will be broken and ugly like your mom.
It should look like this
Now add your cayenne or Crystal. Mmmmmm. Not too much now, you just barely want to taste it. A little.
If you didn't fuck up and you did like I said, it should look like this. Serve it with a Duvel, of course and eat it till your farts burn your pets eyes.