There are a shitton of O:MF ideas we've collected over the years that have the defacto effect of drawing noobs to the site. "WTF IS THIS SHIT?" I imagine them saying. "Principia Discordia? I'm gonna look them up."
Then, they get here and we anihilate them with pettiness, in-fighting, exclusivity and one-upmanship. We think we can't use 'em because they aren't Mensa members or they don't Get Ittm
Listen: do you know what one has to score on the ASVAB to get into the US Army?
Notable: Banksy, Stephen Fairey. These people have like, money and followers n shit. André the Giant has a career. It used to be called "stupid punks shitting up the street with garbage" and now it's called art.
If you can get people to part with money with your self-indulgent bullshit, you can certainly get them to respond with righteous, self-indulgent bulshit of their own. Come on; people are still getting off on Flash Mobs for coca cola and sprite and then taking the train to #OWS sit-ins with nary a thought to irony. We should be making triple six-fig salaries in marketing
...if we weren't so fucking socially inept.
1. let's recycle, re-examine, reuse all the ideas-old and new-with a new emphasis on getting motherfuckers here
2. Branding, people. Logos. HIMEOBS did this fantastically. Let's make a fuckton of Brands that all lad back to the same place: here. The Government does this. The banks do this. Whether you are Fortm
, you are ultimately a customer of the same company.
3. Teasers. Make this shit look all shadowy and mysterious. Create the illusion
of exclusivity and be inclusive instead of the other way 'round. We've had it ass-backward, spaggots.
Remember how you felt when The Matrix came out? "A SECRET, UNDERGROUND WORLD OF ILLUMINATED MEMBERS?!?" Remember when Trent Reznor started with all that Year Zero bullshit and we thought it was gonna be something awesome? Remember how you felt when you found the "hidden tracks" at the end of the Broken EP and the Tool albums? Hell, half the appeal of the Rave Scenetm
was the covert nature and map points.
Look at this: http://www.symbiosispresents.com/
Dude, it's a fucking party
, man. Just a fucking party...with a countdown and a mailing list. And good branding. Pepsi will probably be there. Hell, I'd blow Michelle Bachman if I thought drinking her spooge would take me on a secret journey through Wondernew.
Do that shit up right and they'll be lining up to cram fistsful of red pills into their faceholes before you can utter the words "anal leakage."
4. This forum is massive and a lot to read and has an emphasis on "you are a retard and no one wants you here" messages. Being massive is great when it's all labyrinthine and shit. Maybe multiple levels of read permissons? Some more welcoming noob threads that are like "Congratulations, you are now one of the Awakened" instead of "It's just the internet, motherfucker?" They think there's a secret forum? MAKE TEN SECRET FORUMS and elude to each one of them with the last. The Truth is: "it's just the internet, motherfucker," but by the time they actually figure that out, we'll have filtered out the bored, amused ourselves with the dumb and already plunged our diseased claws deep into the minds of th creative remainder. Maybe we'll actually become
the club we're presenting. Hey, you believe your own bullshit for long enough, it might actually become reality.
Let's bust out a new coat of paint and some drapes for those Black Iron Prison cells, comrades! I wanna see some "pop!"
Or kill Roger.