Author Topic: Fifth World Problems  (Read 6792 times)

Cramulus

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Fifth World Problems
« on: January 04, 2012, 04:53:39 pm »
http://www.reddit.com/r/fifthworldproblems

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2012, 06:12:17 pm »
Oooooooo!
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Triple Zero

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2012, 11:53:14 pm »
I followed that subreddit for a while, it was amazing at first, but got a bit repetitive after a while. I'm certain we can do better :-)

My root identity provider got me a new ego, but it got transcended and now it's delivering itself to the wrong continuum. In triplicate. Then, I found out the new Zv0 model got discounted half an atto-second to the blue but they won't change my order because "it is against our policy to violate causality" :kingmeh:
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e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

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Richter

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2012, 02:57:20 am »
The drink dispenser has stopped accepting integers.

The zeitgiest module keeps telling me to display funny patterns and text in helvetica to others on my ARI display as a prank.

The doctor told me to take less soma.  I'm suing.
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2012, 03:25:31 am »
The ancients used to live over there, before the Gods destroyed them.  Don't go over there.  It's haunted.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
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Demolition_Squid

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2012, 09:58:39 am »
My clone is filing a lawsuit against me for my bad genes.  :sad:

I think my garbage disposal and my dishwasher are having an affair. You would not believe the noises coming out of the kitchen.

My parents won't let me get genetic recoding! How am I meant to express my individuality without gills?  :x

My replicator is broken and now everything it makes tastes like bratwurst. Anyone got some spare toothpaste?

The line at the teleporter is awful, its going to take me at least five minutes to get to work.

Someone linked me to a picture of the sun going supernova. Ugh! Spoilers!
Truly, though our element is time,
We are not suited to the long perspectives
Open at each instant of our lives.
They link us to our losses: worse,
They show us what we have as it once was,
Blindingly undiminished, just as though
By acting differently, we could have kept it so.

-Reference Back, Phillip Larkin

Faust

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2012, 10:16:54 am »
My Big Brother has frozen and wont update my status reports to my friends list

Cramulus

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2012, 05:34:31 pm »
The Gray Goo dispenser turned into gray goo.  :sad:



Cramulus

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2012, 05:37:55 pm »
This argument is going in circles. I keep telling him, "No, I'M the copy, YOU'RE the original." Eventually, one of us is going to have to go to work.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2012, 05:40:36 pm »
Nobody powered great-grandpa down last night, and when I got up this morning, he was fucking the microwave.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2012, 05:43:07 pm »
Nobody powered great-grandpa down last night, and when I got up this morning, he was fucking the microwave.

Roger, this thread is for unrealistic, made-up problems


ETA: Please tell your great-grandfather he shouldn't put metal in the microwave
« Last Edit: January 05, 2012, 05:45:15 pm by Cramulus »

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2012, 05:52:35 pm »
Nobody powered great-grandpa down last night, and when I got up this morning, he was fucking the microwave.

Roger, this thread is for unrealistic, made-up problems


ETA: Please tell your great-grandfather he shouldn't put metal in the microwave

Um, that's ME.  I thought we were talking about the future.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2012, 06:34:53 pm »
I am enjoying Bill Cosby.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Template

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2012, 06:17:48 am »
I am enjoying Bill Cosby.

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Roly Poly Oly-Garch

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Re: Fifth World Problems
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2012, 05:46:31 am »
I had a nightmare when I was a kid about showing up to school and being quizzed on a base case I totally hadn't studied for. I've been having the same recursing nightmare about that nightmare ever since.


« Last Edit: January 31, 2012, 06:32:46 am by NoLeDeMiel »
Back to the fecal matter in the pool