« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: The New Threat to the Internet  (Read 276 times)

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
The New Threat to the Internet
« on: January 30, 2012, 03:03:09 pm »
Last week, 3 million of us beat back America's attack on our Internet! --- but there is an even bigger threat out there, and our global movement for freedom online is perfectly poised to kill it for good.

KROM - a global treaty - could allow nations to conduct warfare over the Internet. Negotiated in secret by a small number of rich countries and corporate powers, it would set up a shadowy new regulatory body to transmit startling pornographic imagery -- and even impose scatological web filters -- on people they say have harmed their business.

Europe is deciding right now whether to ratify KROM -- and without them, this global attack on Internet freedom will collapse. We know they have opposed KROM before, but some members of Parliament are actually attracted to shock porn -- let's give them the push they need to reject the treaty. Sign the petition -- we'll do a spectacular delivery in Brussels when we reach 500,000,000 signatures!
Logged

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2012, 03:09:57 pm »
This is really a pretty big issue. KROM would allow the government to essentially abduct people without a warrant, hold them indefinitely, and subject them to recordings of their loved ones crying.
Logged

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2012, 03:14:25 pm »
Here are the list of government officials that currently support KROM:

 Harry Reid (D-NV)
 Howard Berman (D-CA)
 Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
 Viscount Nicodemus Drachenwald (R-WV)
 Steve Chabot (R-OH)
 Alaric Bloodshadow (D-MI)
 Ted Deutch (D-FL)
 Vlad Wolfsinger (R-CA)
 Bob Goodlatte (R-VA)
 Ular the Destroyer (R-AR)
 Dennis A. Ross (R-FL)
 The Dark One (D-CA)
 Mark Soulrender (R-NE)

Logged

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2012, 03:28:40 pm »
If KROM passes, every internet search you perform will be forwarded to the government, where it will be subject to an invasive search by homeland security. You will be extremely limited in what you'll be able to search for on the Internet. The KROM rules and regulations in the following list represents information gathered from the TSA, the FAA, and interviews with security warlords at our nation's internet cafes.

The following items will be prohibited search terms:

knives, scissors, razor blades, guns, handguns, alcohol, wine, beer, golf clubs, corkscrew, self-defense sprays, pepper spray, tear gas, tweezers, nail clippers, swords, spray cans, toothpaste, and over two ounces of liquid.
Logged

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2012, 03:44:11 pm »
If this shit passes, it's YOUR FAULT for not pressing "Like" on facebook.
Logged

Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 22797
    • View Profile
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2012, 03:48:35 pm »
Would be funnier if it was less like the truth :(
Logged
Vast and Intractable Horror-Cloud of Tomorrow's Awful Vengeance

Demolition_Squid

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3551
  • Bank?! OH SHIIIIIIIIT!
    • View Profile
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2012, 03:52:23 pm »


Upon approval of Krom, it will be illegal to record anyone discussing Krom.

In order to access google, you will need to intone the following prayer:

Krom, I have never prayed to you before –
I have no tongue for it.
No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad,
Why we fought or why we died.
No, all that matters is that two stood against many.
That's what's important.
Valor pleases you, Krom, so grant me one request –
Grant me my search!
And if you do not listen, then the Hell with You!
Logged
Truly, though our element is time,
We are not suited to the long perspectives
Open at each instant of our lives.
They link us to our losses: worse,
They show us what we have as it once was,
Blindingly undiminished, just as though
By acting differently, we could have kept it so.

-Reference Back, Phillip Larkin

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2012, 04:33:16 pm »
Logged

El Twid

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 199937
  • Exploding Sin Spore of the Horrible Bar Bathroom™
    • View Profile
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2012, 05:24:34 pm »
Dammit ds i was going to quote that too.
Logged
El Twid para un mejor México

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2012, 05:36:29 pm »
 :lulz: :lulz: I posted this to facebook. One of my friends thinks its a joke!

Logged

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2012, 07:19:04 pm »


If KROM passes, your congressional representatives will call you up and shout at you about what you're doing wrong. It'll be a one-way call; you won't be able to respond. That's how fucked up KROM is.
Logged

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 30784
  • Platonic Dildo Sharpener
    • View Profile
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2012, 07:20:54 pm »
Quote from: Cramulus on January 30, 2012, 07:19:04 pm


If KROM passes, your congressional representatives will call you up and shout at you about what you're doing wrong. It'll be a one-way call; you won't be able to respond. That's how fucked up KROM is.

If KROM passes, your insurance rates will go up every time anyone you know has an accident.  And your health insurance won't cover herpes, if caught in cybersex chat rooms.
Logged
Auto-Rendering Fiber Digesting Chamber of Convulsive Erotic Terror

Quote from: Doktor Howl
McDonalds, if you think about it, is the PERFECT example of life/lifestyles in the late 20th/early 21st century. Pink slime shaped like chicken nuggets, giant lawsuit-happy corporations suing people for using the prefix "Mc" no matter what the circumstances, marketing aimed at small children (Ronald, etc) to form life-long associations with the product, and the abysmally-effective "I'M LOVING IT" marketing ploy aimed at maintaining that association into the person's adult life...With the advertisement showing skinny, attractive people while in reality the AVERAGE customer is 45 pounds overweight.

All style, no substance almost-food sold to brainwashed masses. It's AMERICA™, in a white paper bag.

Cramulus

  • Mods
  • Deserved It
  • ***
  • Posts: 124209
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2012, 07:23:55 pm »
It's true. The only way to stop this from being passed is to send your congressional representatives images of tubgirl over and over again until they are too incapacitated with lust to legislate anything.

You know what sucks? Even if this doesn't pass, congress is just going to try to pass it in another form. Like maybe a suppository or something.
Logged

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 30784
  • Platonic Dildo Sharpener
    • View Profile
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2012, 07:27:43 pm »
Quote from: Cramulus on January 30, 2012, 07:23:55 pm
You know what sucks? Even if this doesn't pass, congress is just going to try to pass it in another form. Like maybe a suppository or something.

A 6' long, 4" wide suppository.  With spikes, and pre-rolled in rock salt.

Because they can.
Logged
Auto-Rendering Fiber Digesting Chamber of Convulsive Erotic Terror

Quote from: Doktor Howl
McDonalds, if you think about it, is the PERFECT example of life/lifestyles in the late 20th/early 21st century. Pink slime shaped like chicken nuggets, giant lawsuit-happy corporations suing people for using the prefix "Mc" no matter what the circumstances, marketing aimed at small children (Ronald, etc) to form life-long associations with the product, and the abysmally-effective "I'M LOVING IT" marketing ploy aimed at maintaining that association into the person's adult life...With the advertisement showing skinny, attractive people while in reality the AVERAGE customer is 45 pounds overweight.

All style, no substance almost-food sold to brainwashed masses. It's AMERICA™, in a white paper bag.

Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 80321
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2012, 10:27:52 pm »
Logged
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.
          The chance—given rain is around—
That it thunders is easily found
As the chance of rain, under
The chance that there's thunder,
Times raininess during that sound.
(Steve Ngai)
Pages: [1] 2
« previous next »