Author Topic: The New Threat to the Internet  (Read 393 times)

Cramulus

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The New Threat to the Internet
« on: January 30, 2012, 03:03:09 pm »
Last week, 3 million of us beat back America's attack on our Internet! --- but there is an even bigger threat out there, and our global movement for freedom online is perfectly poised to kill it for good.

KROM - a global treaty - could allow nations to conduct warfare over the Internet. Negotiated in secret by a small number of rich countries and corporate powers, it would set up a shadowy new regulatory body to transmit startling pornographic imagery -- and even impose scatological web filters -- on people they say have harmed their business.

Europe is deciding right now whether to ratify KROM -- and without them, this global attack on Internet freedom will collapse. We know they have opposed KROM before, but some members of Parliament are actually attracted to shock porn -- let's give them the push they need to reject the treaty. Sign the petition -- we'll do a spectacular delivery in Brussels when we reach 500,000,000 signatures!

Cramulus

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2012, 03:09:57 pm »
This is really a pretty big issue. KROM would allow the government to essentially abduct people without a warrant, hold them indefinitely, and subject them to recordings of their loved ones crying.

Cramulus

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2012, 03:14:25 pm »
Here are the list of government officials that currently support KROM:

 Harry Reid (D-NV)
 Howard Berman (D-CA)
 Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
 Viscount Nicodemus Drachenwald (R-WV)
 Steve Chabot (R-OH)
 Alaric Bloodshadow (D-MI)
 Ted Deutch (D-FL)
 Vlad Wolfsinger (R-CA)
 Bob Goodlatte (R-VA)
 Ular the Destroyer (R-AR)
 Dennis A. Ross (R-FL)
 The Dark One (D-CA)
 Mark Soulrender (R-NE)


Cramulus

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2012, 03:28:40 pm »
If KROM passes, every internet search you perform will be forwarded to the government, where it will be subject to an invasive search by homeland security. You will be extremely limited in what you'll be able to search for on the Internet. The KROM rules and regulations in the following list represents information gathered from the TSA, the FAA, and interviews with security warlords at our nation's internet cafes.

The following items will be prohibited search terms:

knives, scissors, razor blades, guns, handguns, alcohol, wine, beer, golf clubs, corkscrew, self-defense sprays, pepper spray, tear gas, tweezers, nail clippers, swords, spray cans, toothpaste, and over two ounces of liquid.

Cramulus

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2012, 03:44:11 pm »
If this shit passes, it's YOUR FAULT for not pressing "Like" on facebook.

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2012, 03:48:35 pm »
Would be funnier if it was less like the truth :(
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Demolition_Squid

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2012, 03:52:23 pm »


Upon approval of Krom, it will be illegal to record anyone discussing Krom.

In order to access google, you will need to intone the following prayer:

Krom, I have never prayed to you before –
I have no tongue for it.
No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad,
Why we fought or why we died.
No, all that matters is that two stood against many.
That's what's important.
Valor pleases you, Krom, so grant me one request –
Grant me my search!
And if you do not listen, then the Hell with You!
Truly, though our element is time,
We are not suited to the long perspectives
Open at each instant of our lives.
They link us to our losses: worse,
They show us what we have as it once was,
Blindingly undiminished, just as though
By acting differently, we could have kept it so.

-Reference Back, Phillip Larkin

Cramulus

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2012, 04:33:16 pm »

Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2012, 05:24:34 pm »
Dammit ds i was going to quote that too.
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Cramulus

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2012, 05:36:29 pm »
 :lulz: :lulz: I posted this to facebook. One of my friends thinks its a joke!


Cramulus

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2012, 07:19:04 pm »


If KROM passes, your congressional representatives will call you up and shout at you about what you're doing wrong. It'll be a one-way call; you won't be able to respond. That's how fucked up KROM is.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2012, 07:20:54 pm »


If KROM passes, your congressional representatives will call you up and shout at you about what you're doing wrong. It'll be a one-way call; you won't be able to respond. That's how fucked up KROM is.

If KROM passes, your insurance rates will go up every time anyone you know has an accident.  And your health insurance won't cover herpes, if caught in cybersex chat rooms.
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Cramulus

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2012, 07:23:55 pm »
It's true. The only way to stop this from being passed is to send your congressional representatives images of tubgirl over and over again until they are too incapacitated with lust to legislate anything.

You know what sucks? Even if this doesn't pass, congress is just going to try to pass it in another form. Like maybe a suppository or something.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2012, 07:27:43 pm »
You know what sucks? Even if this doesn't pass, congress is just going to try to pass it in another form. Like maybe a suppository or something.

A 6' long, 4" wide suppository.  With spikes, and pre-rolled in rock salt.

Because they can.
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Re: The New Threat to the Internet
« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2012, 10:27:52 pm »
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e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

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