Author Topic: Discordian Weddings  (Read 3926 times)

Danjanon

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Discordian Weddings
« on: February 07, 2012, 02:04:52 pm »
A friend of mine has asked me to officiate their wedding and since they know I'm a Pope they said I could incorporate Discordianism. What do people think would be in a Discordian Wedding?

LMNO, PhD (life continues)

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2012, 02:09:07 pm »
Considering that a wedding is about them and not you, I'd say very, very little.
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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2012, 02:15:10 pm »
For starters, you should snub a few key people. Or send them a follow-up invitation with a wrong address on the other side of town.

Then when they finally do show up, they should throw a--traditionally a golden apple, but any type of solid metal object that can be held in the hand will do, through the glass window, and START A WAR [also make sure to GO TO THE STORE to stock up on FIRE]

In fact maybe better if it's not a golden apple, otherwise they'll suspect you immediately.
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Cramulus

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2012, 02:34:38 pm »
Hi Danjanon!

You may be interested in reading about a classic Discordian wedding. Back in the 90s, this is actually one of the first pages I found which mentioned Discordia: http://www.ginohn.com/wunder201005/wedding/index.html

These guys named Gina and John had a Discordian wedding. It took place in the woods.

When the party gathered, Gina was already up in the tree. The groom arrived, climbed into the tree, and sat with her there. The priest was late to the wedding due to wearing plate mail. The ceremony, in his mind, was fusing the two individuals together into one being.

"John and Gina. Gina and John. Two people who are about to become one person. I will call this person Ginohn!"



Pretty good wedding, from the sound of it. They had skits. And the priest's word that they were married was basically a dare.

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Here are some simple guidelines you might try (and who knows if they'll work?) to experience a fulfilling marriage:
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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2012, 02:52:35 pm »
- mod note - since this is about interpreting Discordia, and not about a group project, I'm going to move this to the Principia subforum. If we don't keep this place organized, it'll become self aware and destroy us.


Triple Zero

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2012, 02:58:42 pm »
Considering that a wedding is about them and not you, I'd say very, very little.

In this light,

- make it your personal mission to ensure there are no hotdogs at the event

- under NO circumstances, ask Eris to "bless" their marriage

- at the afterparty, maybe request the DJ to play some nice KLF
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2012, 03:19:43 pm »
A friend of mine has asked me to officiate their wedding and since they know I'm a Pope they said I could incorporate Discordianism. What do people think would be in a Discordian Wedding?

A very, very disappointed bride.
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LMNO, PhD (life continues)

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2012, 03:23:01 pm »
 :lol:
LMNO
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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2012, 03:29:11 pm »
TBH, I incorporated some Discordia into my wedding-- but it was more from a "the universe is random, and up to us to give it meaning" kind of way.

Also, we drank wine and broke stuff. I think Mrs LMNO's family thinks we're Jewish now.
LMNO
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First Church of Last Exit Before Toll
The Spider Project.

Buy the Chao te Ching, or be doomed forever.

http://www.stonybrook.edu/sb/marburger/index.shtml

"Get offa me, you freaks!  This is not North Korea.  No.  This is America, and I expect to be PAID for that sort of nonsense.  In advance.  No credit...Cash on the barrelhead or GTFO.  I swear to God, there's nothing more annoying than commie perverts who don't understand the intrinsic value of the free market system."

Luna

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2012, 03:34:55 pm »
A friend of mine has asked me to officiate their wedding and since they know I'm a Pope they said I could incorporate Discordianism. What do people think would be in a Discordian Wedding?

A very, very disappointed bride.

I declare my marriage retroactively Discordian.  God knows I was disappointed. Often.
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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2012, 03:37:07 pm »
I really love the "double dog dare" component in that ceremony. If I ever marry again I want something like that in mine.

Danjanon, I have performed officiated three weddings so far, and I would say that your best bet is to keep any Discordian touches on the zen side and stay away from the pinealist side.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

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Luna

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2012, 03:40:05 pm »
I really love the "double dog dare" component in that ceremony. If I ever marry again I want something like that in mine.

Danjanon, I have performed officiated three weddings so far, and I would say that your best bet is to keep any Discordian touches on the zen side and stay away from the pinealist side.

I like that, myself.

The marriage ceremony shouldn't be about you, it should be about them.  If you know them, do what will resonate for THEM.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
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"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2012, 04:08:48 pm »
The wedding is really for the bride.  My advice, as your spiritual advisor, is to tell your friend to let his wife - possibly with help from both mothers - plan it.

Leave the Discordian stuff for afterwards.

Trust me on this one.
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Cramulus

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2012, 04:13:56 pm »

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Re: Discordian Weddings
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2012, 04:33:48 pm »
Discordian wedding story: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,31574.0.html

I agree. It's not a real Discordian wedding unless you arrange for an infant to CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE all over everybody.
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