ITT: Things that are Holy About Payne

[Cramulus]

This guy is our Messiah



let's list his holy properties

[The Good Reverend Roger]

He can stick to a window like a gecko.

[Cramulus]

2. he's fucking awesome

3. he came back from the dead

4. he might be controlled by an old voodoo lady

[Freeky Queen of DERP]

He can give women fake orgasms from across the room, but Pixie wont allow that anymore.

[Cramulus]

9. He once commanded me to make a bat signal

[The Good Reverend Roger]

He can give women fake orgasms from across the room, but Pixie wont allow that anymore.

No, that's me.

He can beat up Johnny Cash in a fight.

[Cramulus]

Do you guys find it weird that our messiah may be the mind-puppet of an old voodoo lady? Do you think that she is really the holy one?

no that's fucking ridiculous, nevermind


11. Payne is a leavening agent

12. He co-founded the WOMP cabal

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Payne cured my hypochondria, over the internet.  He didn't even have to touch me.

[Eater of Clowns]

Payne stole his name from Clint Eastwood's character in the "Dollars" trilogy of spaghetti westerns.  They still use it in the movies, but it cannot be heard except by iguanas.

[Freeky Queen of DERP]

He's a Scot  (isn't he?)  and he stands upright.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

He's a Scot  (isn't he?)  and he stands upright.

This alone is proof of divine intervention.

[Eater of Clowns]

Payne can erase punctuation - all instances of a single kind of punctuation.  Ask him what happened to the doublecolon.

[Cramulus]

31. one time he fell out of a car and landed in another car

32. he redeems sins

33. He's dating pixie, who is also holy and awesome in every way.  They met here on the forum, which is the cutest thing on the gaddam planet

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Payne can erase punctuation - all instances of a single kind of punctuation.  Ask him what happened to the doublecolon.

Or the semi-period.

[Freeky Queen of DERP]

He's a Scott and he can communicate in more than pointing and grunting.