I have it on good authority that almost everything that is wrong in the world can be traced back to MY FACE. I am also informed that the things that AREN'T caused by MY MOM. Who would say such awful things to their spiritual advisor, you may ask?
Why, Freeky, of course.
This is just ONE REASON that you should never listen to a word that woman says. She is WRONG, and she KNOWS she is wrong, and she feeds people false information JUST FOR KICKS. She is utterly and completely bankrupt in any moral sense, and ethically, she is a vast, festering pit of MALICE and DEGRADATION.
I mean, ask around. I am the kindest, most compassionate bastard on this planet. It is because of MY GOOD GRACES and my intercession with ALIEN GODS that said alien gods don't come down here and SNORT YOUR SOULS LIKE COCAINE. How's that grab you? Without ME in the way, YOU are nothing but a bag of CHEAP CRANK.
No. The problems that plague the world are on account of CRAM'S BEARD and LMNO's lack of 'STACHE. An example: My toilet is so clogged up that the breather pipe out by the street vomits out shit and toilet paper every time I flush. Sure, the plumber's been called, but the toilet tank fills up really fast, and I think I can flush it at least 20 more times before he shows up. Cleanup is IN HIS CONTRACT, and when he begins to curse at me and weep, like he always does, I shall simply show him a picture of LMNO's hairless mug and tell him WHY I must do these HORRIBLE THINGS.
And as far as Cram goes, he's a fucking terrorist. If there was any REASON employed by DHS, they'd have shoved him and his smug grin in a fucking hole YEARS AGO. Well, actually his beard is the terrorist, but WHO GREW THE FUCKING THING IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Anyway, I just wanted You People to know that Freeky is full of shit when she talks all that smack about me. I'M not the problem, YOU PEOPLE are the fucking problem. YOU MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE. If any of you really loved me, you'd kill yourselves today.
Or Kill Me.